Were you ever increadibly sexually attracted to someone you hated? | INFJ Forum

Were you ever increadibly sexually attracted to someone you hated?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Artemisia, Jul 17, 2014.

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  1. Artemisia

    Artemisia Community Member

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    Did you ever hate someone but were intensely attracted to them at the same time? Did things progress with that person and become friendlier or did you still hate them?
     
  2. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
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    No
     
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  3. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Nope, I find it near impossible to be attracted to someone that I hate.

    Is this happening to you now [MENTION=11526]Artemisia[/MENTION]?
     
  4. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i have not
    i wonder if the reverse is possible, to be incredibly sexually repulsed by someone you loved?
     
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  5. sassafras

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    I can't say I have ever hated anyone, but generally, if I dislike someone, it's for a good reason and it over-rules any amiable feelings, attraction or otherwise.
     
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  6. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    how do you override your feelings, and what would constitute a good reason, if you don't mind saying?
     
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  7. sassafras

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    If they've hurt someone I care about, or if they're so close-minded about their cruel or alienating perspectives that they refuse to see anyone else's side, I usually dislike them.

    As for how that overrides any amiable feelings, I mean that I will acknowledge that they have qualities that I might admire in another person, but my dislike automatically runs interference. It's largely unconscious.
     
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  8. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    ok how does that manifest in a practical sense, do you have like a spontaneous "no" thought to the idea of a relationship with them, the psychological equivalent of a gag reflex when drinking spoiled milk? thanks for elaborating btw :)
     
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  9. sassafras

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    Nope, no 'no' thought. I'm just not drawn to them. It's like the line has dropped. I don't acknowledge them any more than I would a house plant. If I have to interact with the plant (water it) I will, but I won't make any effort to connect with it. It's just...a plant.
     
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  10. casie

    casie Community Member

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    I can think of a few people that I would definitely hate-fuck
     
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  11. Vict

    Vict mechanical and habitual agent
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    Strong emotions muddle the situation.
     
  12. Lark

    Lark Rothchildian Agent

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    Absolutely, empathically, categorically no.

    I actually would consider that sort of thing to be a problem.
     
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  13. Switchgirl

    Switchgirl ON and OFF mode

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    Nope, nope, and nope.
     
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  14. Jill Hives

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    Hated? No. Pissed off as fuck at? Oh, yes.

    But those are two entirely different things...
     
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  15. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    oh so you are simply neutral to them then, makes sense
     
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  16. Stu

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    When I was single I was amazed at how fast someone could go from being highly attractive to repulsive once I figured out that I loathed the person they were.
     
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  17. cvp12gh5

    cvp12gh5 What a lovely way to burn...

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    What are your reasons for hating this person?

    If you are wondering if things can ever become friendlier between the two of you, then the answer is simple; of course they can. Just as long as both parties are willing to forgive and let go.

    I can only assume that he hates you too, because if you were the only one doing the hating, then you would have the power to fix this easily; don't hate him and be nice!

    But asking this question makes me think that you don't hate him at all. You are open to the idea of making nice. So why does he hate you so much?

    Whatever the reason may be, I think one possible reason a person would lust after someone they hate or that hates them is "control". You know that you can't control him and his negative feelings towards you and this may bother you if you are the type of gal that likes to be in charge of the show. But it also may turn you on at the same time. He has moxy.

    So maybe you don't even want him like that...maybe, what you really want is to control this uncontrollable man...you want dominance over him. At least through sex with him, you could feel like you have the power during the act.

    Sex is a very powerful weapon, especially in a woman's hands. This is what some women will resort to when they have no other hand to play in getting a man to bend to them. But, I could be totally off. Just a theory to think about.

    Anyway, I think that it is unhealthy to feel this way about him and it leans towards self-destructive behavior. If I ever felt this way about a person I hated, then I would probably talk to a therapist to find out why I felt this way so that I could fix what was broken inside.

    I think you realize that it's wrong, but now you need to look inside yourself to find out why you feel this way. Good luck!
     
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    #17 cvp12gh5, Jul 17, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2014
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  18. bionic

    bionic sexy coconut
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    OMG. YES. To the point where I hated myself for even enjoying it. It's happened to me a couple of times. One turned out into a complete disaster and I was very burned from it. It also made me do some really stupid things that were very out of character for me. The second was similar, in that it really killed my self-esteem, but I learned a lot from the first one so I had more strength to realize the "relationship" was toxic and cut the chain. They progressed with both but not to a full-on relationship and I did hate them afterward, since I felt bitter and rejected. Thankfully, all that toxicity is behind me.

    Sometimes I think that it wasn't hate though... it was my brain saying "This person is horrible for you and you're confusing this lust for something that can't be fruitful". Like, I was more into the chemistry and potentiality of it then actually wanting to make something of it. If that makes sense?

    If you're gonna reflect more on it though... ask yourself WHAT you hate about them so much and why/how is it affecting you?
     
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  19. Blueberry

    Blueberry Newbie

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    I can definitely understand where you're coming from... Usually i hate someone because i wish i was them... But usually it's a girl, and I'm a girl so it would just be weird.to feel sexually attracted to the same sex. (nothing against homosexuals here). I'm just saying :)
     
  20. LucyJr

    LucyJr Well-known member

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    Wow, such a ... philosophical question! I have food for thought for at least two weeks now.
     
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