Were you ever increadibly sexually attracted to someone you hated?
- Thread starter Artemisia
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i have not
i wonder if the reverse is possible, to be incredibly sexually repulsed by someone you loved?
i wonder if the reverse is possible, to be incredibly sexually repulsed by someone you loved?
how do you override your feelings, and what would constitute a good reason, if you don't mind saying?
If they've hurt someone I care about, or if they're so close-minded about their cruel or alienating perspectives that they refuse to see anyone else's side, I usually dislike them.
As for how that overrides any amiable feelings, I mean that I will acknowledge that they have qualities that I might admire in another person, but my dislike automatically runs interference. It's largely unconscious.
ok how does that manifest in a practical sense, do you have like a spontaneous "no" thought to the idea of a relationship with them, the psychological equivalent of a gag reflex when drinking spoiled milk? thanks for elaborating btw
ok how does that manifest in a practical sense, do you have like a spontaneous "no" thought to the idea of a relationship with them, the psychological equivalent of a gag reflex when drinking spoiled milk? thanks for elaborating btw
Nope, no 'no' thought. I'm just not drawn to them. It's like the line has dropped. I don't acknowledge them any more than I would a house plant. If I have to interact with the plant (water it) I will, but I won't make any effort to connect with it. It's just...a plant.
What are your reasons for hating this person?
If you are wondering if things can ever become friendlier between the two of you, then the answer is simple; of course they can. Just as long as both parties are willing to forgive and let go.
I can only assume that he hates you too, because if you were the only one doing the hating, then you would have the power to fix this easily; don't hate him and be nice!
But asking this question makes me think that you don't hate him at all. You are open to the idea of making nice. So why does he hate you so much?
Whatever the reason may be, I think one possible reason a person would lust after someone they hate or that hates them is "control". You know that you can't control him and his negative feelings towards you and this may bother you if you are the type of gal that likes to be in charge of the show. But it also may turn you on at the same time. He has moxy.
So maybe you don't even want him like that...maybe, what you really want is to control this uncontrollable man...you want dominance over him. At least through sex with him, you could feel like you have the power during the act.
Sex is a very powerful weapon, especially in a woman's hands. This is what some women will resort to when they have no other hand to play in getting a man to bend to them. But, I could be totally off. Just a theory to think about.
Anyway, I think that it is unhealthy to feel this way about him and it leans towards self-destructive behavior. If I ever felt this way about a person I hated, then I would probably talk to a therapist to find out why I felt this way so that I could fix what was broken inside.
I think you realize that it's wrong, but now you need to look inside yourself to find out why you feel this way. Good luck!
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OMG. YES. To the point where I hated myself for even enjoying it. It's happened to me a couple of times. One turned out into a complete disaster and I was very burned from it. It also made me do some really stupid things that were very out of character for me. The second was similar, in that it really killed my self-esteem, but I learned a lot from the first one so I had more strength to realize the "relationship" was toxic and cut the chain. They progressed with both but not to a full-on relationship and I did hate them afterward, since I felt bitter and rejected. Thankfully, all that toxicity is behind me.
Sometimes I think that it wasn't hate though... it was my brain saying "This person is horrible for you and you're confusing this lust for something that can't be fruitful". Like, I was more into the chemistry and potentiality of it then actually wanting to make something of it. If that makes sense?
If you're gonna reflect more on it though... ask yourself WHAT you hate about them so much and why/how is it affecting you?
I can definitely understand where you're coming from... Usually i hate someone because i wish i was them... But usually it's a girl, and I'm a girl so it would just be weird.to feel sexually attracted to the same sex. (nothing against homosexuals here). I'm just saying
