Unspoken Rules of Dating | INFJ Forum

Unspoken Rules of Dating

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I like soft things...so soft!
Jan 8, 2014
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This summarizes why I hate dating!

My friend speaking about me: "Don't tell her to bring an overnight bag, just tell her it's okay to fart around you"

Seriously though- this made me laugh!

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Nonsense, I have compiled a comprehensive list on the rules of dating. I give it to all possible dates before the preliminary meeting. It consists of only 298 protocols so it's a light read. Of course many of those have sub-rules and citations which are mandatory reading.

The amount of times I've gotten laid because of dating protocol 107.
 
Is there a farting protocol on that list of yours?

What about a 'pooping at your date's house' protocol?
 
Lol that's hilarious.

Anytime I go to the bathroom, whether its in my own house or someone else's, I turn on the air vent thingy... What is that thing called? Makes all the noise in the world, suppose to suck out moisture when showering and shit smells when pooping. That thing. Lol I turn it on every time I go to the bathroom regardless of what it is I'm doing. I don't like it when people listen to me pee and it's really surprising how many times people tell me right when I come out of the bathroom that they were listening to me take a piss -_- fucking weirdos. You're suppose to turn it on when you take a shit regardless though which somehow a lot of people don't seem to know.
 
Another rule? If your date says this my first time I've been on a date in a while, don't say "really? Well I've been on so many dates, I can't imagine not going out with someone every week." Lol
 
Another rule? If your date says this my first time I've been on a date in a while, don't say "really? Well I've been on so many dates, I can't imagine not going out with someone every week." Lol

LOL!


Another rule - If you are a heterosexual man on a first date with a heterosexual woman, do not say "I made my last girlfriend turn to women after me". This is likely to not go over well...especially if you don't laugh when she says "That's crazy! All my exes turn to women after me too!"

.....he just looked at me like I was crazy....there wasn't a second date.
 
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flowers are a reward, not an enticement.
 
LOL!


Another rule - If you are a heterosexual man on a first date with a heterosexual woman, do not say "I made my last girlfriend turn to women after me". This is likely to not go over well...especially if you don't laugh when she says "That's crazy! All my exes turn to women after me too!"

.....he just looked at me like I was crazy....there wasn't a second date.

This could also apply to any couple on a first date- but my joke wouldn't have had the same 'umphf' if I didn't explain it!!

...sometimes I think I'm the only one that laughs at my jokes! I know I was in the instance!
 
Don't go crazy with the make-up.
 

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I say if the date is going bad to fire all weapons.

Exactly. Don't be afraid to tell them the details of your vagina or armpit shaving process!
 
Exactly. Don't be afraid to tell them the details of your vagina or armpit shaving process!
Armpits are heaven! *sigh* If you've never had your armpit tongue swabbed when you were, um, close, you're missing out!

Besides, coming away from your lover with a face full of girly pheromones is about the coolest thing ever. =)
 
Armpits are heaven! *sigh* If you've never had your armpit tongue swabbed when you were, um, close, you're missing out!

Besides, coming away from your lover with a face full of girly pheromones is about the coolest thing ever. =)

...I am speechless but I applaud your weirdness.

I'm totally into armpit sniffing but I stop at licking it.
 
...I am speechless but I applaud your weirdness.

I'm totally into armpit sniffing but I stop at licking it.
Girly pheromone addiction... Can't help myself. =)

I'm not the only one who enjoys it... It is a rather intense sensation on your end too!
 
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I'm a little concerned about where this thread is heading :m187:
 
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My bf farts when I fart in order to make me feel less ashamed. I never even have to ask him. I'm a lucky girl.

Also twirling armpit hair is fun and relaxing.
 
I've been told that I shouldn't talk about cats on a first date.....I don't know why!
 
My bf farts when I fart in order to make me feel less ashamed. I never even have to ask him. I'm a lucky girl.

Why feel shame? Farting is amazing. ~The couple that farts together stays together~

I will tell you an embarrassing story:

While over my bf's house, his mom was showing me her exercise ball and ways to use it. We were both on our backs and I had the ball between my knees. So I lowered it up and down (as she was demonstrating it too), and I let out a big ol' fart. I turned bright red and laughed in embarrassment. I kept saying "OMG I'm so sorry"... and she just laughed and said "It's good for letting gas out too!"..... That's how I knew I'd have an awesome mom-in-law.
 
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