Hi all, I'm back, but for a different dilemma this time around.
After my last thread, here, I thought everything was fine, and we were both on the same page. And we are, for the most part. But I've had a question circling in my mind again, this time trying to understand an INFJ's mind-set. Any advice would be very appreciated. It's just that I have found INFJs to be the antithesis to cold, hard logic, that I'm most familiar and comfortable around.
Tl;dr: I'm confused, about the way a certain INFJ acts, and would like some help understanding his mindset, if possible. I'm not back for relationship advice, or trying to get back with him; I'm at the point where the ball is in his court, and I have no intention of pursuing someone. I'm just trying to grasp and comprehend his perspective, which is, for the most part, mind-boggling.
Now that I wrote all of this down, I just would like to be able to understand his mind. I think he considers me as a special friend, but again, I don't know if someone would go out of their way this far to talk to someone, even just as close/special friends. I definitely don't see this happening with the other INxJs in my social circle. But what do I know?
So, I want to understand his particular mind, why he keeps doing these things for me. I am honestly grateful for his attention, but sometimes it is overwhelming, seeing as we're just friends. Unless of course, it's a common INFJ trait, which I would love to learn, and explore more about, given this thread.
Thanks in advance for your comments.
Here are some of our weirder encounters, being "Just friends":
- I dropped out of contact for a week, citing that I need to get over my feelings
- Not a week has passed when he initiated contact again, and asked if we wanted to work on a writing project together.
- As we go to the same college, he asked for my fall schedule, and willingly gives me his, when I never asked for it, or didn't care for it. He also asked if I would go with him to buy textbooks early one day, even though it would be logically more efficient if he did his part himself, and I minded my own.
- I contracted an illness that left me sick for about a month, and during this time, he messaged me incessantly, asking how I felt, how I was doing, how the doctors' appointments went, what my symptoms are, blah blah blah. No matter how much I tried to change the conversation, he always made sure I was alright.
- He went travelling, and despite me coldly refusing a souvenir when he said he was going to get me something, he comes back with a few souvenirs for me, from a store which he pointedly said "he didn't get anything else there for any of his other friends". He bought himself an identical souvenir.
-When I felt I was ready to hang out with him and his friends just as "friends", I made sure to establish that difference. What came out of it however, was that the day after our group had our outing, he's messaged me every single day, and even though we mostly work on the writing project, we talk for hours and hours on end every. day. Now, I'm doing this on a basis as "just friends", and "its too hard to severe all contact", but he always initiates, and when I don't recipocrate.
- He always asks about my day, talks about his, shares opinions back and forth, and it got to the point today, we talked in the morning, afternoon, and night, with him asking about "how did your family outing to a restaurant go? how was the food?" etc..
- He would talk to me occasionally about his ex-girlfriends, how they "decided to break up, but felt like they could get back together at a better time." So, as a friend, I just console him. No biggie.
After my last thread, here, I thought everything was fine, and we were both on the same page. And we are, for the most part. But I've had a question circling in my mind again, this time trying to understand an INFJ's mind-set. Any advice would be very appreciated. It's just that I have found INFJs to be the antithesis to cold, hard logic, that I'm most familiar and comfortable around.
Tl;dr: I'm confused, about the way a certain INFJ acts, and would like some help understanding his mindset, if possible. I'm not back for relationship advice, or trying to get back with him; I'm at the point where the ball is in his court, and I have no intention of pursuing someone. I'm just trying to grasp and comprehend his perspective, which is, for the most part, mind-boggling.
Now that I wrote all of this down, I just would like to be able to understand his mind. I think he considers me as a special friend, but again, I don't know if someone would go out of their way this far to talk to someone, even just as close/special friends. I definitely don't see this happening with the other INxJs in my social circle. But what do I know?
So, I want to understand his particular mind, why he keeps doing these things for me. I am honestly grateful for his attention, but sometimes it is overwhelming, seeing as we're just friends. Unless of course, it's a common INFJ trait, which I would love to learn, and explore more about, given this thread.
Thanks in advance for your comments.
Here are some of our weirder encounters, being "Just friends":
- I dropped out of contact for a week, citing that I need to get over my feelings
- Not a week has passed when he initiated contact again, and asked if we wanted to work on a writing project together.
- As we go to the same college, he asked for my fall schedule, and willingly gives me his, when I never asked for it, or didn't care for it. He also asked if I would go with him to buy textbooks early one day, even though it would be logically more efficient if he did his part himself, and I minded my own.
- I contracted an illness that left me sick for about a month, and during this time, he messaged me incessantly, asking how I felt, how I was doing, how the doctors' appointments went, what my symptoms are, blah blah blah. No matter how much I tried to change the conversation, he always made sure I was alright.
- He went travelling, and despite me coldly refusing a souvenir when he said he was going to get me something, he comes back with a few souvenirs for me, from a store which he pointedly said "he didn't get anything else there for any of his other friends". He bought himself an identical souvenir.
-When I felt I was ready to hang out with him and his friends just as "friends", I made sure to establish that difference. What came out of it however, was that the day after our group had our outing, he's messaged me every single day, and even though we mostly work on the writing project, we talk for hours and hours on end every. day. Now, I'm doing this on a basis as "just friends", and "its too hard to severe all contact", but he always initiates, and when I don't recipocrate.
- He always asks about my day, talks about his, shares opinions back and forth, and it got to the point today, we talked in the morning, afternoon, and night, with him asking about "how did your family outing to a restaurant go? how was the food?" etc..
- He would talk to me occasionally about his ex-girlfriends, how they "decided to break up, but felt like they could get back together at a better time." So, as a friend, I just console him. No biggie.
You feel like you're getting mixed signals? I'm sure he has some attraction to you. So why not just come out with it? It's not so black and white, some INFJ's are more confident than others. There's no way for the forum readers to assess it from this side of the screen.