Too Dependent? | INFJ Forum

Too Dependent?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by BlitheBriley, May 11, 2010.

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  1. BlitheBriley

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    I've always, ever since I can remember, wanted to have one person in my life forever. One person I could share everything with. At most stages of my life, I have found one person I thought fit that description, and that person became my world. For instance, I had the same best friend for ten years, and all my hobbies and interests largely grew up around her. When we finally grew apart, it was so hard for me to move on because I'd built my life around her.



    When I find someone like that, I want to spend just about every minute together. Even if we're just going to the grocery store or watching TV, I want to be with that person. This has happened more than once, and I hate this characteristic about myself. I wish I was less emotionally dependent on other people, or that I wouldn't invest so much in any one person. Does anyone else ever have this problem?
     
  2. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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    Actually, no, I have the problem of the opposite kind, I've always been accused and admittedly am, too independent.

    Even when I'm deeply in love or with my closest friends, I never have a desire to spend too much time with them, or to share everything with them.
     
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  3. Isis

    Isis Community Member

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    I can relate in a way that I can manage with only one close relationship of any kind at a time. I don't need a lot of people around me and I would love to share everything with only that person. I guess I was more prone to develop emotional dependency when I was younger. But I value my independece very highly and I guess I've grown quite a thick skin over the years to not put all my faith in that other person. Instead, I've put more emphasis on myself to be as balaced as I can be (not that I've had tremendous success with it) so that I wouldn't have to lean on others. Appreciating that the person has a part in my life and we can share things seems to be enough for me. There shouldn't be any pressure, so no exceptional disillusionment either.
     

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