Thoughts on isfp's
- Thread starter Eventhorizon
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Have a good friend, really a brother dealing with depression. I cant tell ho bad it is. We live in different states but the personality change is evident. I know these things go where they go. I know the whole story about being there for them when they decide they need something from you. Just seems as if there should be more that can be done if I can just figure it out. Thats what intjs are good at. Taking things apart and making them better than they were.
Should be able to do that with people. Wife and kids and has accomplished so much but, one too many blows. One too many people lost..
Should be able to do that with people. Wife and kids and has accomplished so much but, one too many blows. One too many people lost..
I knew an ISFP once.
Very much -feels- with the every inch and ounce of their heart. That is pretty much a good and bad thing at the same time.
The ISFP I knew gets pretty withering easily when meeting or involved with people of greater presence and/or ego.
Very much -feels- with the every inch and ounce of their heart. That is pretty much a good and bad thing at the same time.
The ISFP I knew gets pretty withering easily when meeting or involved with people of greater presence and/or ego.
They're not too different than INFPs from what I understand, so if I knew one personally I could probably relate easily. ISFPs "feel out" a situation, whereas INFPs add personal beliefs into the mix.
In a way, ISFPs remind me of type 9s (of which I am one) on the enneagram spectrum in that they constantly seek harmony.
In a way, ISFPs remind me of type 9s (of which I am one) on the enneagram spectrum in that they constantly seek harmony.
Interesting. I had my best friend take the test this is what he said it returned. And honestly it blew me away becaue I never would have guessed this about him. Hes a well achieved dective. Still active in hostile environments almost ended up being swat. And like I said its not something I would have ever guessed.
So hes going through some tough times. Depression ect and I dont have a clue how to begin to fix that.
As an intj I like to solve problems and fix things. Also as an intj if I knew he was doing ok I could let him be on his own and happy that he was happy but as it is now I feel responsible for trying to get him back on track.
I dont know its messed up. Its like I cant just leave my friend on the mountain to die or something.
So hes going through some tough times. Depression ect and I dont have a clue how to begin to fix that.
As an intj I like to solve problems and fix things. Also as an intj if I knew he was doing ok I could let him be on his own and happy that he was happy but as it is now I feel responsible for trying to get him back on track.
I dont know its messed up. Its like I cant just leave my friend on the mountain to die or something.
Part of me thinks if truly an isfp hes got tbe wrong job and that the job is a large contributor to the problem. Im I accurate in that idea?
Bad experience with ISFP ex.
She just lived in the moment and wanted to feel good in the here and now. No regard whatsoever for what the consequences of her actions are. Especially if they involve (the feelings of) other people.
She's good at hurting people by being inconsiderate and then, when people show that they've been hurt, she feels extremely bad about hurting them. Somehow she doesn't learn and keeps doing it.
She just lived in the moment and wanted to feel good in the here and now. No regard whatsoever for what the consequences of her actions are. Especially if they involve (the feelings of) other people.
She's good at hurting people by being inconsiderate and then, when people show that they've been hurt, she feels extremely bad about hurting them. Somehow she doesn't learn and keeps doing it.
What did you say? I am interested. Really.
Something about cops being assholes? Its an interesting story with him. He needed a job to support his family. His step father was a cop, got him a job and he ended up doing very well at it. When he told me he had become an officer at the time I have to admit it threw me for a loop. Still remember there are good and bad people in all walks of life.I do lean toward the idea that a job like that for someone like that is part of the issue though. But what do I know. Perhaps he likes it and always has. Some people become officers because they honestly want to help people and make a difference.
Anyway just guessing about your original post.
Go with your gut and talk to him. Depression can be a valuable tool when with the right people. If he is in the force he should be eligible for free therapy. Well, I live elsewhere so don't know for sure but it would seem logical. I would advise an objective view as such but he may need encouragement to own the process and find the right person for him.
Just be like you are here and share your concerns with him. If you can plan a weekend get away, do it.
Hope he gets through this.
Sorry I can't advise in terms of types. I don't know enough to comment further.
Just be like you are here and share your concerns with him. If you can plan a weekend get away, do it.
Hope he gets through this.
Sorry I can't advise in terms of types. I don't know enough to comment further.
I had a close ISFP friend at one point. I could talk to him about anything in the emotional realm, really. He actually was pretty good at understanding people if you gave him proper space to recuperate from being around people. If you pushed him in to talking or being around people when he wasn't ready he'd just sort of mumble and live in his own little world. Though trying to plan events with him and trying to get him to see a logical side of a chain of events was like trying to give a cat a bath. No matter what you did, you were an asshole. My INTJ friend had an idea that he'd try to test him and see if he could apply a theory he had in order to help the ISFP learn new perspectives. Well he instantly took that as bullying (and we didn't know), months later he had a suicide attempt =\
Perhaps write him a card or buy him a piece of art with a letter addressing your concerns.
Perhaps write him a card or buy him a piece of art with a letter addressing your concerns.
The card thing I have tried in my own way. Sent his family a Christmas card with a few things I have learned in life added as a note. It had to do with what I have found is necessary to begin to find happiness. I know, the blind leading the blind.
Do not know how it was received. Though later I told him not to worry that I wouldn't be sending any more of my ramblings disguised as holiday cards. He told me then that he happned to like my "cards" so guess thats positive. I am slightly concerned with people becoming dependant on me. I want desperately for the people I care about to be happy but to be happy without me. I dont know if that makes sense but it is how I feel.
Oooh no I hear you. My mother is INTJ and we had this discussion just the other day. She raised me so I would never feel like I had to be dependent on her, plus she does not want me to be dependent on her. Same goes with family. Some of the reasons she dreads attending family gatherings is because she's so wise that people cling to her like flies and don't learn the first time she teaches them. They keep coming back and cling to her, she finds it extremely draining. The same thing happens to me. We tend to avoid people who don't learn and apply, rather come back clinging thinking we'll hold their hand through life.The card thing I have tried in my own way. Sent his family a Christmas card with a few things I have learned in life added as a note. It had to do with what I have found is necessary to begin to find happiness. I know, the blind leading the blind.
I am slightly concerned with people becoming dependant on me. I want desperately for the people I care about to be happy but to be happy without me. I dont know if that makes sense but it is how I feel.
We are both terrified of people becoming dependent on us, yet it happens so much.