@Chickensoup
First, I recommend you to read what I wroted to Matt3737 here if you didn't.
I got this from Wikipedia:
“Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. Originally, Freud used the word ego to mean a sense of self, but later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory.[23] The ego separates out what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us.[23] "The ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world. ...The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense...”
Actually, Freud mix-up personality with ego. Personality is a decision-making process which using data and information and has a ability to manipulate data and information therefore consciousness exist. What he called "psychic functions" is the job of consciousness. It's a separate part from id, ego and superego. You can think id, ego and superego as a data bank, not a decision-making process.
For example, Freud is mostly right about his theory of all people are their id when they born and they will be after it for a while (actually they are not their id completely). Because only data bank the personality use is mostly id. Because personality needs id to survive, there is not much need to use personality and mostly they are not aware of the all aspect of their personality (actually some people never does).
Forming of ego happens when id realizes it needs to be protected. Maybe for this reason ego activated or created by mimicking others to archive the goal. I'm not sure. The forming of the ego usually happens in teen years. It's the reason why most teens are rebellious and can't accept the reality. The chemical changes which comes with puberty makes it worst. Individuals start to use their ego to satisfy their id. This is the time the personality gets buried in ego. People growing up with their ego start to think they are their ego. Actually it's not their real self. It's simillar to people who accepted their mental illness as a part of their personality.
About reality, actually until superego forms, ego causes the personality to can't/hardly accept the reality. Superego is a helping hand to make personality get back into/realize the reality (especially about socially).
If Freud was right then we should call Individual that never been teen and who doesn't have an ego mindless.
Maybe the main question is what actually personality is. Personality is mainly a decision-making process but it has it's own information contained in genes (which is the information you born with) and it also has data and information bank which learned data and information stored. The content of the genes is personality, the information related your body to function, anything helps individual to survive (which Freud call it id). The information of id stored in our genes by our ancestors as they survived and produced. For example, this storage of information about survival happens in bacterias too (actually all living things on earth is evolved from a bacteria that sensitive to light). Personality can't be changed but it can be improved by storing new information to data banks. Ego and superego has big impact on personality but never be part of it. You can think you are what you know.
Another important question is what is unconscious. It's a data bank of personality which turns data into useful information. Consciousness has connection to unconscious therefore personality can access it. Especially with Ni and Ne functions (N-dom people usually have an aha moment, some people are aware of the unconcisions process. they think it's some kind of storms of information which they can't stop it). For example, some people may want something but they have no idea about the reason because they have a problem to access unconscious memory and handle with big chunks of data and information to form a reason but N-dom people have no problem of it. Ni-dom people can enter to the zen state and think efficiently to reach conclusion.
You should now understand by now why personality and ego are separate parts but relative and concussions don't have anything to do with ego and psychic functions aren't fundamental of ego.
If we were all superego and not ego, we’d die of shame from not living up to society’s ideal. In your example, without a healthy ego telling you it’s ok that you’re not ideally beautiful, that someone will find you beautiful, your belief given to you by your super-ego would be that no one finds you beautiful because you don’t fit society’s standard for beauty. Tell me, which one is more realistic?
I didn't wrote anything about being a superego. You can't even if you fold 1000 cranes for it. Your example is for unhealthy superego which I explained.
Also you mix-up ego with superego and your reasoning is poor. Why would you die because of shame from not living up to society’s ideal? Well if you wander naked around the city just because you wanted it and people laugh at you then you should die of shame. But the subject is being ugly then healthy superego actually protects you from this more realistically than ego. It makes you understand you born with it therefore it's not your fault (which it's our inside voice gives wise advice). Ego doesn't give you advice, it just covers the reality by saying (look at that hair, you are so beautiful. people will kill each other to have you). Which is the reason why we need healthy superego. Why would you ashamed of it? If you are ashamed of it it's because of your ego, not superego. Unhealthy superego actually makes you resentful for society.
But I know why you confused. The unhealthy thought of social ideal actually come from ego, not from superego. Ego thinks you have to be perfect to be worthy of a relationship and you deserve perfect people (which why some people insecure about themselves. as people get more matured they realize how ego creates unrealistic standards and by having healthy superego, people actually have a mutual understanding of the reality which most people share). Also, unrealistic social ideal created by ego is the reason of why some people care for their appearance even though they are going to grocery store. Their excuse is "I don't want to look bad among people, what people will think of me if I did". I don't think the reason of why I'm going to the grocery store wearing unmatching short, singlet and sandal with a cap is because of I have a healthy ego. I think no one cares about my appearance (even though they may think I'm homeless). Anyone cares actually use their ego.
Superego cause you to think: "it's okay to not be perfect but of course, some people choose perfect people" (people with healthy superego accept this fact and move on but unhealthy superego makes them sensitive to this harsh truth therefore they may feel bad about themselves). Unhealthy superego causes individual and others to reach a unrealistic standards which is impossible (i.e. unhealthy type 1). Unhealthy superego says (look at your face you are so ugly. you will die alone with your cats) but healthy superego says (not all people look for beauty and they shouldn't). Healthy ego causes personality to think they are superior to others at least for some aspects (which it doesn't really matter if you are the most beautiful person). Unhealthy ego cause person to think they are superior to others unrealistically. Unhealthy superego sensitive to the unperfection of others, compare others with themselves to feel better (not to feel and/or think superior but not to feel and/or think the worst). Healthy superego will cause them to accept yourself and others as they are. With a healthy superego people realize what is ideal. The ideal is being a healthy human, not a super model, or most famous person, not anything that is a subject of materialism. To ego what ideal is, being a person who is capable, having a house, car, ideal wife/husband, good job, and very good income, etc. That's the reason why people can't be happy and be content with what they have. They trying to reach an unrealistic ideal. If their ego is unhealthy then they try to stay with that ideal and they will do anything for it.
A healthy ego would say someone would find you beautiful as you are. An unhealthy ego would say everyone thinks you’re beautiful despite all contrary evidence, and then battle anyone who begs to differ.
You are right about the unhealthy ego but wrong about healthy ego, it's actually superego (if the fact is true) and you don't need ego or superego for it. Superego only gives you advice if you think you (personality) need it. Superego doesn't make untruthful statements. It just causes you to be sensitive to harsh truths if it's unhealthy.
Also, it doesn't mean it's healthy just because ego said: "someone would find you beautiful as you are". It depends.
So, the ego is there, at least in the way I understand it, to help moderate between our id, our base desires, and our super-ego, our conception of the values and morals of the world around us.
Yes, you are right but I think ego shouldn't have impact on decisionmaking process. If you let it, you wouldn't care to deliver a lost wallet to its owner and steal the money justifying "why would I waste time and energy for it? leaving it would be unwise so it's okay to steal money because if I don't others will)
I can see how some people might think that we’d would be more transparent, more authentic if you will, if we didn’t have this middle layer in between. It’s part of what makes us human though.
I think we shouldn't let ego hae impact on our personality. I don't think its okay to be materialistic selfish creature who thinks what matters is what you can do, exclude who can't and/or different, needs to be important and feel better when they are better than others. Yes, it can be the personality's fault too but ego usually causes this.
It’s what keeps us from calling the cops when we see a black kid on our lawn. It’s what tells us that our fears are only fears, that we may not want to act on them. It’s also what insists more people attended our inauguration than the last, when clearly there weren’t.
Depending on the situation, it may be ego or superego or none of them.
This is an interesting topic though. Even though I meditate and believe in many Buddhist beliefs, the part about ego death is one I haven’t totally bought into. I think it’s important not to lose oneself as part of the whole.
If you have a strong personality then you actually don't need of protection of ego and/or superego therefore you shouldn't have to be afraid. Personality can protect itself if it chooses so. Weak personalities tends to accept/obey to others' opinion easily therefore they are fake, they are a reflection, they are usually a broken reflection.