Thesis Troubles

[Lady Jolanda]

Dear esteemed forum members,

I'd love some advice as to what to do with my thesis. I'm doing a combined graduate degree in molecular biology and computer sciences, with the aim of working in the field of bioinformatics / biotechnology.

I breezed through my bachelor's degree and worked in cancer research for 2 years, before deciding I wanted to keep growing and do a master's degree. The first year went great.
Unfortunately, right when I had all my courses completed and started my thesis, my illness resurfaced. I was out of the running for almost 3 years. I recovered, restarted another thesis, did all required analysis, began writing.. only to relapse again for about a year. I finally recovered enough to continue to work around spring this year, wrote an entire chapter... and my boyfriend of 8 years breaks up with me. World -> crash.

So you see, I've had some bad luck, and I'm all out of motivation now.

I'm just not very skilled at this scientific writing. To say I hate it, is an understatement.
1) I think in images, not in words. 2) I see side-paths everywhere. 3) I see at least 3 different ways of writing it all down, all of which arbitrary choices of arranging the information. 4) I can't stay serious for long enough.

In contrast, I'm quite skilled in giving presentations, as it allows me to simplify the material into graphs and pictures, and add lame jokes to keep the audience awake. There is also direct feedback from said audience; I enjoy the interaction. I can also think and talk at the same time, and talking helps me organize my thoughts.

I also believe I do much better with an audience. Someone to talk to, someone to address, someone to reach. I feel like I'm writing to a vacuum. It's too sterile.

Which lead me to the following unorthodox solution. Would it be possible to write the thesis here? Maybe on the blog part? Maybe in a 'hidden thread'? The data I use in my study is already published and used in another study, so there isn't any danger of leaking secrets, but I don't really want Google Bot sniffing around either.

Or does anyone have any other ideas?

Honestly, I'm just grasping at straws here, cause I feel I've tried everything. (Courses on thesis writing, meetings with my supervisor, etc. It all worked a little bit, but not enough.) I just want to get this damned thing finished so I can graduate and become a somewhat functional member of society.
(With my chronic health problems, I'll never be able to work full-time, but I'm a strong believer in doing what you can.)

I'm seriously frustrated with myself for not making any progress. Godverdomme.

 

[Ginny]

You could ask someone you know (who is familiar in this field of studies) to proof-read what you wrote and perhaps discuss your ideas with you. Then you might also have to do such tedious things and plan what you want to write. The most difficult thing is, however, what follows: sticking to the plan.

 

[James]

I also believe I do much better with an audience. Someone to talk to, someone to address, someone to reach. I feel like I'm writing to a vacuum. It's too sterile.

Have faith in what you have written.

Maybe try giving a presentation (to yourself), and record the audio, then write it up. Entp usually excel in verbal address, so I'm not surprised. Maybe use pictures, but then write a description of the images. It's all about expressing your ideas, and views.

I think @Ginny has given you some good ideas. Depending on the audience, a little humour used sparingly, even in academic papers, can really bring things to life.

 

[pzl2lxie81mc]

Oh man - so sorry about your break-up and that you’ve had so many false starts. I’m glad your health has recovered enough to start again.

For me, getting my paper down was always a painful process, but I always knew if the idea was there, then the paper was too. It helps that academic research papers have a standard format. So, you have the format, you have your style, and the only thing that sounds missing is your method.

For me, I always just write out everything that’s in my head. It feels clunky and like there are always too many thoughts at once, so I kind of know how you’re feeling. This is usually the most painful stage where I find myself procrastinating, getting migraines and complaining about XYZ.

Once I have everything down though, I feel great. My first draft is always really really bad. Graded, it’d be a D minus and I’m not even exaggerating. Whenever I had to turn in early drafts, they were always graded in the D/C range.

I have to then step away and clear my mind, before re-reading to get an idea of what exactly I’m trying to say. I’m taking out anything extraneous and crafting the “story,” aka thesis. This also takes a bit of time because I’ll need to iterate, but it’s easier for me than the first step.

Once I have this done, I re-work the paper so that it flows. Then, I edit. Get it checked, then re-edit again. In other words, I don’t worry about the writing until the end stages. (At my previous job, there was then another twenty rounds of editing, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, hope that helps. Just make sure you have enough time to go through whatever method that works for you. Also, write out the data section first because it’s the most concrete and it’ll make you feel like you’ve done something . Good luck on your thesis!

 

[pzl2lxie81mc]

Oh wait, you’re an ENTP. My way isn’t going to work for you. From what I know of ENTPs, you’re going to need to talk it out first. For you, I wouldn’t suggest writing stuff down until you’ve talked it through.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Thank you all very much for your suggestions

I shall try to implement them tomorrow.

 

[Free]

@Lady Jolanda

How are you feeling about this now? Any changes?

 

[Lady Jolanda]

@Lady Jolanda

How are you feeling about this now? Any changes?

Thank you for asking Free. Very kind of you. <3

Yes some changes but not enough. I do feel very hopeful and determined though

Being able to share this with you amazing supportive people already helps a ton!
I'm the only one in my family who went to university. I don't know what kind of genetic freak accident happened there, but as such, my family do not understand academics and whenever I struggle even a little bit with something, they immediately tell me that "You don't need a degree, you can just find a job like the rest of us, you know." That fires up the anger engines and causes me to push through. I'll show them.
But what I would really like is some support and positivity and good advice. I'm very happy to have found that here. Thank you all.

Reading that others have succeeded at getting their degrees (the ones I know of are Ginny and Ren, but I'm sure there are more of you!) is also a huge boost. Gives me something to strive for. They did it, so I can do it too

I currently have the flu so right now I'm not getting any work done, but it's just the flu, it will pass.

 

[Ginny]

Reading that others have succeeded at getting their degrees (the ones I know of are Ginny and Ren, but I'm sure there are more of you!) is also a huge boost. Gives me something to strive for. They did it, so I can do it too

I currently have the flu so right now I'm not getting any work done, but it's just the flu, it will pass.

I'm not done yet, as I still haven't got my results or completed my other concluding duties (i.e. transcript, exmatriculation). But I get what you mean. It's good that you see light at the end of the tunnel (and not a gigantic abyss like I did at some point), so you definitely have something to look forward to. You can do it

Hope you'll get well soon.

 

[Free]

"You don't need a degree, you can just find a job like the rest of us, you know."

I've heard that before, a few times! And I know others who have battled against that same traditional familial way of thinking. I grew up in a home where wanting an education and a career was just something women didn't do. I was expected to have just any job, marry, have babies, and give up on my dreams instead. The best part about taking charge of how your future is shaped is the freedom that comes with it. You've faced many challenges already and still haven't given up. I know your strength will guide you the rest of the way, and I'm so happy you've found the support of peers that makes things just that much more tolerable.

Feel better, I wish you well. :loveglomp:

 

[flufiang]

I like this!!! Sending tons of positive vibes your way!

 

[Ren]

I don't know what kind of genetic freak accident happened there, but as such, my family do not understand academics and whenever I struggle even a little bit with something, they immediately tell me that "You don't need a degree, you can just find a job like the rest of us, you know." That fires up the anger engines and causes me to push through. I'll show them.
But what I would really like is some support and positivity and good advice. I'm very happy to have found that here. Thank you all.

Reading that others have succeeded at getting their degrees (the ones I know of are Ginny and Ren, but I'm sure there are more of you!) is also a huge boost. Gives me something to strive for. They did it, so I can do it too

I sense positivity in your words and I like that. Even the most casual glance at your posts reveals that you are a person of high intelligence and nothing would be better than the community of science benefiting from the insights of your work At a personal level, I relate very much to the solitude you may feel at times, especially when it comes to needing support from your close ones and not getting it. It's only partially their fault. When you have no idea what academia is, it's hard to understand its importance. I'm glad the fact of sharing your experience and frustrations here has helped you get some useful perspective and realise that you can indeed find support and people who relate. As you know, I am at heart still very much a recovering PhD student and I'll always be here if you need to speak about your thesis, or just vent.

 

[charlatan]

I think I know how you feel -- I have a really bouncy head. It's great for some things (definitely to keep life interesting), but I definitely get the feeling of various arbitrary ways to communicate information, and I almost would rather just write it out in a jumble and then discuss it with someone -- they'll realize I know what I'm talking about if they spend the time having back-and-forths clarifying the meaning.

What I'd really do is try to go in stages -- just write things down talking it out loud to yourself or something like that at first, and sure it won't be pristine, but you'll have something written.
Now you have something to work with, you can slowly start refining it/rewriting portions.

I find that trying to get it all good on the first try is overwhelming/makes you not do anything. But basically, when you actually write it out, your mind will start generating what aspects of what you're saying might not be clear to someone who doesn't live in your head. These ideas might not actually occur to you before you put something down, since without a concrete form (ie without putting it on paper in SOME form) there's nothing to really criticize -- just, like you say, arbitrary choices on how to write in your head.

 

[charlatan]

By the way, I'd say I'm too extreme even for academia, which tends to be results-oriented (too extreme meaning...academia is seen as extreme by the very traditional get-job-quick-make-money types....and I'd be extreme even relative academia). I usually would rather spend time chasing avenues that are interesting but might not lead to as many results quickly....this is not as much of a trade-off for the few earth-shattering geniuses out there, but for 99% of smart people it's a tradeoff that comes bitter to the more free-spirited intellectuals.

So in a way, I'd also keep this in mind -- I'm very much of the academia mindset apart from this, in that I naturally just think all the time, try to stay in touch with the scholarly literature in anything I'm into, etc..... it's possible you've got some of the same trouble just given your stated type.

Some of us NP's may have a little bit of a harder time with the get-results/publish-or-perish mentality.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

You're very spot on Charlatan.

 

[just me]

I quoted everything in my thesis as to tell a story. Seven pages, but all that read it agreed it was true before they burned it. Be careful with statistics and truths. They tell a story you just have to put into your own words.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Sorry Just me, I don't really understand what you're trying to tell me. Can you try to rephrase it? I'll gladly listen.

 

[invisible]

You seem to be spending too much time on this, beating around the bush. You started your thesis again, how can you even tolerate not having this done yet?! Get on the task and get this out of the way ASAP. You are making a lot of excuses and procrastinating a lot, going off on irrelevant tangents like your enjoyment of public speaking, rather than focusing on achieving the necessary task outcome. It may be that it is simply impossible for you to derive fulfillment from this, but who cares? A Masters thesis is like a colouring book, or filling a form, or even like cleaning the bathroom. Make up an order of tasks that need to get done, like cleaning a bathroom. Fill the written requirements according to the guidelines provided. If you complete the requirements, you will pass, that's really all that matters. Fling shit at deadlines, doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to like it, just thrash it out to meet the requirements. Stop pushing back your deadline, take control of the deadline and complete the required tasks in the deadline you establish. It's a bunch of formulaic tasks that need to be done to create a written product. It is a crappy chore. Life is shitty and many of us do not write our paper under ideal circumstances. We do it to improve our life circumstances.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Merry Christmas to you too Invisible.

 

[flufiang]

some people do best when looking at a project like this from different angles first and not tackling it ‘by the book’.... some people perform better when they don’t conform to what works for others but try to find their own voice behind the work they produce... and they do better because it’s their way.... Different strokes for different folks