Theories on sensor/intuitive communication | INFJ Forum

Theories on sensor/intuitive communication

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Gaze

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Does the I vs. E difference in typing have a bigger effect on communication style than the S vs. N. difference?


I was thinking about this today that intuitives tend to depend more on body language or nonverbal cues, to communicate or read information about people while sensors may depend on what is stated verbally to evaluate someone. Sensors tend to be more facially expressive and communicate their emotions more visibly outwardly than intuitives who tend to use less expressive facial expressions. This is just a theory, and I am not sure whether it's valid.

So, thoughts? What do you think are the differences between sensor and intuitive communication? How do SFs communicate differently than NFs? Or how do STs communicate differently from NTs? Do you notice patterns of communication or style of speaking which is common to particular types?

Other thoughts and theories are welcome
 
Body language is something I use, but it's not your usual concept of body language. When I communicate with SF's, I often use physical horseplay to get across the idea that I am trying to be fun and positive. Apparently, words don't do it. There needs to be excitement and confidence in its expression. To the degree that I lack directness and strength in tone or action is the degree to which they will "sense" a lack of clarity or sincerity.

I have an acquaintance who I believe is ESFx. There's plenty of verbal play and innuendo. Sometimes I wonder if he's actually intuitive, but what causes me to think of him as Sensing is his seeming misunderstanding of silence. He understands feeling and social graces. He appreciates companionship. But he doesn't seem to detect that, while I'm having fun talking, the way I am carrying myself in the moment shows that I am contemplating something else that is parallel to "this" visible conversation.
 
In massive generalizing..
I think S read more clearly in regards of what was stated. Expression, body language, what was said (in general)*, intonation... etc. He said he's happy, then I assume he -is- happy.
Ns, on the other hand, is more aware of what -wasn't- being stated, or related stuffs. Order, the synchronization, the 'feel'. The gaps. Like, he was supposed to be happy, but in accordance to what I knew about him, his words doesn't really indicate he's happy

*)As far as what was said, from what I'd seen S tend to read the whole message. N's understanding is affected by how the message was written.
S will probably read "Stop doing this" and "please do that instead of this" as the same thing.
N will read it differently.

But this is just me, as usual.
 
Ame said:
Does the I vs. E difference in typing have a bigger effect on communication style than the S vs. N. difference?


I was thinking about this today that intuitives tend to depend more on body language or nonverbal cues, to communicate or read information about people while sensors may depend on what is stated verbally to evaluate someone. Sensors tend to be more facially expressive and communicate their emotions more visibly outwardly than intuitives who tend to use less expressive facial expressions. This is just a theory, and I am not sure whether it's valid.

So, thoughts?
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I think that I v E is what makes a big difference simply due to E's get more experience with interaction.

I dont think there are any major differences between S v N, I think it is just where the interpretation is coming from. I think that both sides eventually come to the same conclusion as to what the other is saying.


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Also I thought S was supposed to be more visual, so why would N react more to nonverbal communication? My experience as an S has been that the emphasis in my reaction will favor which ever form of communication is going to get me what I want.

Example: If I want you to take out the garbage and you tell me yes, but body language says no, I will ignore your body language and expect you to do it.

Example 2: If I want you to give a speech but you say yes and body language says no, well later when I am wanting to cancel the event I will remember your body language and let you off the hook.
 
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Ive been thinking about this a lot.

I think that both S and N types tend to communicate using verbal, written or visual communication. Psychic communication seems to be a statistical outlier.
 
I think E versus I has a more direct influence on communcation style while S versus N has more impact on the information itelf

The difference in communication style between E and I mainely is timing. I's usually think then talk, E's think while they are talking. So the problem mostly is that when an E asks an I a question and the I doesn't respond right away (because he is thinking about the answer), the E will start talking again because he doesn't understand the pauze and so the I doesn't get the chance of saying anything. In order to have a more effective communication, E's need to understand that they have to give the I the change to think. The I's can help by saying something like "I heard your question, let me think about it first".

I just took a communication course that was based on MBTI. According to the course the main difference between types in communication style can be seen between the 4 temperaments: SJ, SP, NF and NT.

concrete vs abstract
The difference between SJ/SP on one hand and NF and NT on the other hand is the subject of the communication. S's primarily talk about the external, concrete world of everyday reality while N's primarily (like to) talk about the abstract world of ideas: theories, dreams, philosophies, beliefs, fantasies. S's are more in tune with what can be seen, heard, ... here and now in the concrete world while N's are more in tune with connections, patterns, ... An S would be better in observing changes like "a new hair cut", while an N (mostly NF's in this case) are better in observing changes in moods, relationships, ...

utilitarion versus cooperative
there are two distinct ways in how people gabout their business. Some people (SP's and NT's) act primarily in a utilitarian or pragmatic manner. They do what gets results, what achieves their objectives as effectively or efficiently as possible. While other people (SJ's and NF's) act primarily in a cooperative ors ocially acceptable manner, try to do the right thing in keeping with areed upon social rules, conventions, codes of conduct and only later concern themselves with the effectiveness of their actios

SJ's (guardians) are concrete coorators. Are mostly concerned with their duties and responsibilities and are careful to abey the laws, follow the rules and respect the rights of others. SJ's are more concrete and detailed in their manner of speaking. To get a SJ on board for a new job make it as concrete as possible and provide them with deadlines and. They want deadlines and concrete instructions and they work more effectively if they can plan their work. When they make a promise they stick to it or feel bad if they don't

SP's are concrete utilitarians and speek mostly about what is right in front of them, about what they can get their hands on and they will do whatever works even though they have to bend the rules. SP's dislike deadlines and detailed instructions. To get a SP on board for a new job, emphasize that it will be fun and new and they can start right away. They want to have freedom in how they do a job. hey also want to be able change their mind whenever they want to. When a SP makes a promise but later doesn't see the use of it, they don't mind to break the promise

NF's as abstract cooperators speak mostly of what the hope for and imagine might be possible for people. For them it is very important to act in good conscience. When trying to reach their goals they take other peoples concerns into account and don't like to compromise their personal code of ethics. For NF's harmony and deep personal relationships are very important. To get a NF on board for a new job emphasize that it will be a team effort (they don't like to be left on their own) and communate in a personal way.

NT's as abstract utilitarian speak mostly of what new problems intrigue them and what new solutions they envision. They act as effiently as possible to achieve their objectives, ignoring arbitrary rules and conventions if needed. Their commuication style is direct and no nonsense
 
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Being married to an "S", I don't see much difference in our style of communication among ourselves and with others. I tend to have the facial expressions ... that he "sees" and then is curious as to what is going on in my head. He has little to no facial expression, except the "bug-eyes" when he's fired up. lol

Communication is better related to experience than MBTI. It takes many failures and mistakes to know what works for you. Reluctance to communicate can be attributed to sociology. When you have been conditioned to respond in a certain manner, your response becomes habit. The introverted/shy person conditioning to negative communication may be to speak up less, mind your place, don't create waves, just take it, etc. The extroverted/outgoing person conditioning to the same would be to outwardly rebel or speak up. Think of how this would be if it were positive communication. Think of all the times you had to communicate as a child vs. as an adult (including all the people involved, situations, etc ... big difference.)

When we finally stop blaming our parents for all our problems and look at how to improve our communication out of necessity: Repetition = habit, and as my husband says: "repetition is the mother of skill." When you see the results of your good communication, it becomes natural.

At age 35 I finally realized it was ok to say "no." Now I can't stop saying it. :D
 
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Sriracha said:
Communication is better related to experience than MBTI. It takes many failures and mistakes to know what works for you. Reluctance to communicate can be attributed to sociology. When you have been conditioned to respond in a certain manner, your response becomes habit. The introverted/shy person conditioning to negative communication may be to speak up less, mind your place, don't create waves, just take it, etc. The extroverted/outgoing person conditioning to the same would be to outwardly rebel or speak up. Think of how this would be if it were positive communication. Think of all the times you had to communicate as a child vs. as an adult (including all the people involved, situations, etc ... big difference.)
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MBTI only looks at your innate preferences and not your adaptations. When answering the MBTI questionaire you should focus on your prefered behavior and not your adapted behavior. But you are right that communication behavior can change a lot by experience. If you are a highly introverted person that has been forced to be more extraverted, your communication style would probably be more extraverted after time. But this is 'stretched' behavior, you can do it but it will take an effort. Therefore most of the time when people are under stress they turn back to their innate preferences

but I think MBTI helps a lot in understanding how other people communicate and how to adapt your own communication style in order to get a more efficient conversation with people who are different than you are.
 
Morgain said:
MBTI only looks at your innate preferences and not your adaptations. When answering the MBTI questionaire you should focus on your prefered behavior and not your adapted behavior. But you are right that communication behavior can change a lot by experience. If you are a highly introverted person that has been forced to be more extraverted, your communication style would probably be more extraverted after time. But this is 'stretched' behavior, you can do it but it will take an effort. Therefore most of the time when people are under stress they turn back to their innate preferences
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But I think this is the trick though. If you do something over a period of time, it may feel like your natural preference. That's why I think people will get incorrect results on their MBTI. If you are in an environment where your natural sensibilities are constantly suppressed especially as a toddler, you may never know what they truly are. We keep forgetting that we're in a culture that says, it's ok to be who you are and express yourself, but for a long time, that was not the case. So, many, if not most people were socialized to adapt and display behavior that was probably against type. So, we need to keep this in mind.
 
Ame said:
But I think this is the trick though. If you do something over a period of time, it may feel like your natural preference. That's why I think people will get incorrect results on their MBTI. If you are in an environment where your natural sensibilities are constantly suppressed especially as a toddler, you may never know what they truly are. We keep forgetting that we're in a culture that says, it's ok to be who you are and express yourself, but for a long time, that was not the case. So, many, if not most people were socialized to adapt and display behavior that was probably against type. So, we need to keep this in mind.
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Do you think that someone could really change who they are and feel good with it. It is of course speculation but I would suspect that when you where forced to evolve in a different person, you will always remain a feeling of being "not yourself". People who always wanted to be an artist but where forced to become an accountant will have evolved in that direction but I think they will always have a regret "I'm now this person but I always wanted to be like that" and never will feel like they are their true selfs. That is why MBTI asks you to answer the behavior you would prefer and not the one that you have learned or what you would do in a situation where you feel most like you. So if they ask if your room is clean and you have become a very clean person by adaptation, you would answer "my room is clean now but if I had it my way it would not be clean, so the answer is no".

The people you don't have a problem with in communication are probably the ones that 1. are the sam type as you are or 2. have learned to outbalance their type so that they know the best way to communicate with you. I hope some day I'm number 2. :) Learning the opposite preference and also learning in what way people are different and what the best way is to communicate with others is really helpful in becoming a balanced person
 
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[MENTION=1591]Morgain[/MENTION]

Your post is great view of problem. You covered main points...Really nice...I am little bit jelous actually :)
:clap2:
 
These are some interesting questions. I'll need to think about this a bit!

However, from the INFJ standpoint, we use a combination of Ni, Fe, and Se to read people. We will pick up facial expressions, body language, choice of words, intonation, pitch, speed, their general vibe, etc. Ni will tell us what the myriad of cues mean, and if it's someone we know and probably know well, I bet Ti also kicks in to compare against what we know about the person. Hmm... Now that I think about it, I think we use all cognitive functions to interpret people... Hmm.. More things to ponder.

In any case, I don't think you can break it down simply by the individual dichotomies as they stand.
 
I realised that if I get carried away in conversation by topics like music, moviea, literature and anythinf freaky:) the other is probably Intuitive. Sensors like more concrete topics. So, when I talk to my friends Sensors I try to be concrete. Exceptions are people with Fe as first or second function (ESFJ,ISFJ among sensors) -than relationships and their meaning can be veryimportant topic of our dialogues.
 
Some very interesting points to consider. :)

I think intuitives, especially INXX are more mental in that they think about things more carefully before they express themselves. They are not comfortable blurting things out. They'd rather be right than verbal. They are less spontaneous when speaking. They may use more pauses or stops to consider what they're saying. While sensors are more likely to speak more fluidly. They are more likely to just speak. I think sensors have a quicker speech where they just go for it, rather than contemplate for a long period of time whether they should say something.
 
In all seriousness, IxxJ, ExxJ, IxxP and ExxP are the biggest factors in MBTI that can deal with communication.

I can personally interact with any ENTP or ENFP and get the reactions I expect. And vice versa. Any other XxxX combo and meanings can start getting muddled.

It's pretty easy to hold a conversation with anyone though. If not then you're probably doing something very wrong.
 
Sensors and Intuitives can't communicate. It doesn't work. Sensors don't make sense and it's a silly effort to try and work with them. They always looked confused and like they have no clue; I'm pretty sure because they don't. Death to sensors. Long live the venerable sensor.
 
Everyone uses sensing, intuition, feeling and thinking in perception and communication, just with different emphasis. The only time where there would be significant marked differences is when people are younger and have not yet had the opportunity to further develop the cognitive functions in their stack.

Communication itself has a lot to so with culture, experience and intentions. Any two people can communciate clearly and well, although they may have innate preferences for a certain style.

Introverted people can learn how to approcah people comfortably and start conversations, and extraveted people can learn to enjoy comfortable silence and listen well. The nest listeners and the easiest people to communicate with in my life are ENFP, ENTP, ESTJ, INTP and ISTP

I am an INFJ but for the last 2 years Ive consistently scored as INTP. This is not because my preference has changed or because I was always an INTP, its only because my Ti function has become better developed and has become the main function that I actively seek to develop at this period of my life. I think this is an age and stage of life things. This doesnt devalue Ni and Fe, it just adds another deeper dimmension to the way I experience and understand my world

I think the tertiary function is very important for everyone because its the function we all seek to develop and hone. Its natural and innate, yet not accessed and applied with the same ease as our first two functions. So it becomes something that we become increasingly aware of and invested in.

Dominant sensing and intutive people will have inferior functions of the opposite scale so this will maifest very differently for secondary function intuitives and sensors.

My inferior function is Se, but I still use it and it has a huge influence on my perception, albeit in a different way from those that use Se in a different position in their stack. I get along extremely well with ESTPs, and we often come to the same conclusion, yet we have taken completely different routes to get there. It is almost like the same information is available with Ni and Se, one is studying the internal lansdscape, the other is studying the external landscape. I often wonder how much Se is effecting me unconsciosuly, what information Im percieveing and storing without consious effort that is going to effect my understanding a later time

In my experience, older ISXPs becaome very adept as using Ni, and often fully incorporate inuition into their perception and communciation stye. Secondary Se with tertiary Ni is a very powerful combination.

ESXJs have Ne as a tertiary function. My mum was ESFJ and she had excellent intuitive ability, to the point where many people thought she was psychic. One of our close family friends is an older ESTJ, and his Ne is so well developed that he comes across as amazing creative and innovative, where as when he was younger he was very different.

INXPs become adept as using Si, as it provides the necessary grounding and practicality for Ne.

Si can be a sore spot for ENXPs, but it still has a huge effect on their perception and communciation, and it becomes further balanced as they get older.

The ENXJs that I know all seem to have a fascination with Se and making the most out of sensory exposure and experience, especaily since their dominant function is an extraverted one that is invested into understanding and effecting the external environment (Fe and Te).

I think that developed Ne mainfests in ISXJs in a very interesting way where they become increasingly creative and learn to use their Si as a stepping stone and find novels uses for their learned experience. Si is the function I understand the least though, so Im not entirely sure what is happening here.

I dont think anyone is limited by their mbti preferences and although the mbti type will remain the same, the cognitive functions will change dramatically over the life span. If you genuinely want to understand and communicate with anyone, its always possible regardless of type difference. People are people. You dont even need to know the same language sometimes
 
Rferraris said:
Sensors and Intuitives can't communicate. It doesn't work. Sensors don't make sense and it's a silly effort to try and work with them. They always looked confused and like they have no clue; I'm pretty sure because they don't. Death to sensors. Long live the venerable sensor.
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The usual Rferraris trolling nonsense. Puts [MENTION=3156]Saru Inc[/MENTION] to shame.
 
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