The ESTJ and Projection

[Altruistic Muse]

My father is an ESTJ, and I think I have posted on this forum before, about a stress episode he experienced a few months back, where he basically had a nervous breakdown because he put a nail through a water pipe in our house. He had put so much effort into the house that it had become a part of him, and he felt that pain like a pierced vein.

A guy at work who has pretty much been stalking me experienced a stress episode after I didn't receive an inappropriate present in the way he expected. He is an ESTJ. He was coming in saying that everyone else in the office was in a terrible mood, when they were not, and complaining of being ill when he was fine.

It seems to me that this personality type, when stressed, undergoes a divorce between their own perception of self and reality. They cannot deal with what is going on inside them, but because it must take place, they project it onto external objects or people, and they see it all around them, but they cannot feel it, or maintain any level of objectivity.

A strange phenomenon.

 

[Blind Bandit]

I've found ESXJ's do this and its frustrating.

 

[Trifoilum]

Loss of ...safe places, security. I think. Every type has this, only this particular defense mechanism is probably unique to ESTJs. While not having a concrete example, I got a feeling my father would've done similar things too.

IMO; SJs are the types that requires 'external' security --tangible or not-- the most to uphold their internal security. It's probably related to the way they've grown.

 

[Altruistic Muse]

Loss of ...safe places, security. I think. Every type has this, only this particular defense mechanism is probably unique to ESTJs. While not having a concrete example, I got a feeling my father would've done similar things too.

IMO; SJs are the types that requires 'external' security --tangible or not-- the most to uphold their internal security. It's probably related to the way they've grown.

I think you're right. The old house before we moved was my dad's security blanket, so ever since that he has been on edge. Unfortunately, for my colleague at work, I was his security blanket. He relied on having me to talk to, the routine of our nightly chat, just having some kind of friendship. He's a lonely man. Once this was removed it released all sorts of demons and revealed all his insecurities. Not a pretty sight.

 

[Trifoilum]

I think you're right. The old house before we moved was my dad's security blanket, so ever since that he has been on edge. Unfortunately, for my colleague at work, I was his security blanket. He relied on having me to talk to, the routine of our nightly chat, just having some kind of friendship. He's a lonely man. Once this was removed it released all sorts of demons and revealed all his insecurities. Not a pretty sight.

My father does that too. When my sister and brother moves away, he felt..kinda disoriented. It's probably a father-child connection he felt, but the way he expressed it...was yes, kinda frantic. Yet it appears like he won't address it himself.

I guess when that happens it's better to assure him that it's going to be alright.

 

[Jana]

It seems to me that this personality type, when stressed, undergoes a divorce between their own perception of self and reality. They cannot deal with what is going on inside them, but because it must take place, they project it onto external objects or people, and they see it all around them, but they cannot feel it, or maintain any level of objectivity.

A strange phenomenon.

Interesting opinion. I relised that ESTJs have hard time talking about problems inside them. It appears that they are bored when someone try to be "psychological" and they just don't feel comfortable talking about states of mind or to analyse. They mor like to talk about what they do or did. Is it wrong to try to help them to overcome that or one should let them be in their way. What do you think?

 

[Altruistic Muse]

Interesting opinion. I relised that ESTJs have hard time talking about problems inside them. It appears that they are bored when someone try to be "psychological" and they just don't feel comfortable talking about states of mind or to analyse. They mor like to talk about what they do or did. Is it wrong to try to help them to overcome that or one should let them be in their way. What do you think?

Oh yes this is definitely the case. ESTPs are the same. Worse in fact. I am always tempted to psychoanalyse them. But I think, considering how uncomfortable it makes them, and how it doesn't seem to help them, maybe it's actually better to ignore it and do things their way, keep it lighthearted. And then pick up the pieces when things go wrong, and be there with some advice and a kind ear then. That's when they listen! You can still analyse them in your head, they just don't need to know.