the ENFP-INFJ combination | INFJ Forum

the ENFP-INFJ combination

Michael Lloyd

Newbie
Jun 5, 2012
28
6
0
MBTI
ENFP
Enneagram
idk
Why do you think an ENFP likes INFJ's?

What does an INFJ think of an ENFP?

What can an ENFP do to help an INFJ?

What traits should an ENFP control when dealing with INFJ friends?
 
Well, your brain EEG patterns almost completely mirror each others, so hey, you're mirrors, and you both rank high in mirroring others behavior, so you have a tendency to take on each others behavior and body language, causing attraction.
enfpinfj.png

You're both complex, so you could say ENFP's are what INFJ's look like on the inside, jumping in many different directions, and that you struggle with order and direction. INFJ's have one or two things they do alot of, whilst ENFP's can do tons of different things and hobbies and struggle with general direction, so INFJ's can help pick up and make your ideas a reality, and you can help them bring new perspectives to subjects, making you the creativity in the relationship, the one pulling the other out and filling in the blanks, and you share a strong feeling drive aux, so you're both gonna be involved with people and understanding what is right and wrong in the world, and you're gonna be more result oriented, whilst the infj will provide abstract ideas and theories and play with new concepts for you, they're good at understanding you, and it's fun to have people around you who understand you.

Both ENFP's and INFJ's have moments where they detach from others and give a cold look on things, so they understand that side in each others well.

You're good conversationalists together. ENFP's like to talk, INFJ's are good listeners (though not perfect listeners, just notice her eyes drifting away.. sorry, you just lost her/him.)
 
Last edited:
Oh, and if you don't make yourself seem like someone s/he can have a future with, s/he'll dump you. S/he'll also dump you if you don't match any of her/his ideals, and s/he'll decide on this on her own, and s/he will not compromise, s/he's fucking stubborn. But if you make it through the first stages, you have a good chance of working.
 
1. They like us because we're a calmer, stabler version of themselves, which allows them to have authentic interaction but in a much less frenetic manner.

2. I (at least) think that they're very energetic, entertaining, and lovable people, and that they're very enjoyable to associate with, especially when I'm feeling down.

3. ENFPs can bring us out of our shell simply by being themselves, because it's a personality type that we are attracted to and which is very fun to analyze, and they can provide us a cheerful companion who lacks the supposed vapidity of the ESFP or the calculating nature of the ENTP, but has the same laid-back, optimistic attitude.

4. You guys seem to have a tendency to be very friendly and enthusiastic, but to sort of shut down when we don't respond on the same level. When interacting with an extrovert who's similar to us, I think we generally like them to, if not absolutely lead, at least manage and direct the conversation. Also, there's a certain mania to you guys, when you're happy, that some of us might find a bit stressful to deal with.
 
http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21184&highlight=enfp

I'm not going to repeat what I posted in ^^^^^^^^. In addition:

I'm having some issues with an enfp best friend right now. I just got back from vacation. I'm am peopled out and need some space. She is overly excited to see me and misses having the attention I give her. When I feel smothered, I feel negative ... during those times I like to retreat b/c it's a side of me I'd rather keep to myself. Meanwhile, she doesn't understand how to satisfy her needy self and gets angry at my withdraw. So I do my best to step outside of myself in order to meet her needs ... so that I can be left alone.

Sounds lovely, no? lol
 
Last edited:
I wrote a really long message that was too off topic, so I deleted it.
 
Last edited:
What do I think of an ENFP?

They're too flighty. Too quick to move on to something else and someone else. Since they don't have Ti, they don't get that it takes time to think before coming up with the next thing to say. I can't seem to have a real conversation with one.

I had an ENFP therapist for a while. She was constantly summarizing my mood and shutting down my conversation without really interacting with my points. That's great, but not very patient and not my style.

What traits should an ENFP do to help/control?

I don't expect them to be anything other than themselves, but just for communication purposes, I'd say try to remain present to the conversation, and don't interpret a pause or looking-away as a sign of disinterest. Be more willing to put thoughts out there partially without having to get the full gist immediately. Be willing to listen and ask questions calmly. Be willing to have more conversations than just the first one. Don't expect to move forward quickly in the friendship; be consistent. If you started off with conversation, continue with conversation.

If you're excited, be excited in place, but try not to move around too much.

Talk to them one on one.

If you don't plan on interacting on a somewhat regular/frequent basis with the INFJ──or at least being around in the same environment──don't bother.
 
I liked your straight up and direct post.

Also, I don't think an ENFP would make a good therapist. I know it's supposed to be one of the things they can do, but I think it's really more like one of the things they'd like. Not something they'd actually do super well. Makes sense that they'd keep summarizing. It's something I commonly do cause I think out loud as an ENFP as well. I've been practicing thinking in my head, but that's easier when I'm taking my time on a forum or after a short interaction with the INFJ I know. I realize, I'm probably mostly just sorting out my feelings though.

Acknowledging that their Ni function is like my Fi function - in that we experience them strongly, but like to keep them to ourselves and protect them - has opened my eyes to the INFJ's zone of comfort a little more.

ENFP's. We guard our hearts and share with those we consider close. Even that is hard for us. When a close INFJ is feeling hurt or angry, we want to help, but it's hard to approach them cause their feelings are so strongly exerted. Very hard to confront with out walking on eggshells. Which, by the way, only makes it worse. It's important to remember to appreciate the INFJ verbally, I think.

Am I getting this right, INFJ's? Feel free to correct any misconceptions I may have made. I'll actually really appreciate it. :)
 
Last edited:
Why do you think an ENFP likes INFJ's?
Not all of "us" do, but others have already provided an answer to the root of it. We mirror each other.

What does an INFJ think of an ENFP?
From what I'm getting from others' posts, they think we're like themselves but with Tourette's.

What can an ENFP do to help an INFJ?
REALLY listen. And actually think about the consequences of what you say to/around them (feelings-wise) before you say it, or what you do around them before you do it.

This may seem obvious to you, but I only really learned how to really focus my attention and use the linear thinking part of my brain in communication when I really wanted an INFJ (it's useful in other areas of life as well). When they say something to you, you need to keep the context in mind and think about wtf they actually mean and why they are saying it before you reply - and even if you might know why they are saying it, don't necessarily point that out and reiterate it to them because that embarrasses them and they'll feel like you're being a busybody. Also, you might be wrong lol. Let them tell it to you themselves, otherwise, what's the point in talking and being friends when all you do is guess the crap out of their motives?

What traits should an ENFP control when dealing with INFJ friends?
- Remember that INFJs are Fe and that it governs a lot of their behaviour, even though they may seem aloof and introspective a lot of the time.
- If you invite them to huge events with a lot of people, give them some slack when they don't want to show up a lot of the time.
- I think that the confidence and ability to socially lubricate that ENFPs have is something that makes INFJs comfortable, but the flip side of that is that you need to be careful to not shit all over everything with your Ne, or put the INFJs in compromising positions in social situations.
 
I think INFJs and ENFPs appear similar, but are very different indeed. Marie Louise Von Franz (one of Jung's followers) pointed this out in her seminal work on typology. Introverted Intuition and Extroverted Intuition operate very differently, and it is my anecdotal experience that it takes a fair bit of work to make the relationship work. INFJs experience a conflict between their inner vision (which can be very radical) and their desire to fit in with prevailing social values (e.g. of courtesy, appearance, etc.). ENFPs experience a conflict between the desire to explore every nook and cranny of the universe and their inner pull to live life according to a set of deeply felt values. An INFJ might see an ENFP as flighty and moody, whereas an ENFP might see an INFJ as obtuse and somewhat superficial. I think they are like two water courses that, whilst they might run alongside each other, run in different river beds and at any time, head in a different direction. Whilst they are physically close, there is much to be shared. But if the paths diverge, the differences become apparent.
 
I'm still waiting for the ENFP of my dreams...though, by the end of it, my heart will probably be scattered on the ground in a thousand pieces.

Romantic attraction would evince itself a very perverse force to my eyes, if not for the fact that ENFPs, in general, feel for me (i.e. INFJs) as I do for them.

:D
 
Last edited:
Why do you think an ENFP likes INFJ's?
Good question, because I honestly don't know what to think.
Because of their flightiness and attraction for anything exciting, I would think that I would be a boring companion for them to have (which I found isn't the case, but I still can't help but to think it).
I am always making friends with ENFPs, and they are usually the ones to approach me, as I am rather reserved and formal in social settings. Even so, I think they like me because of how much I listen to them and take interest in their lives and thoughts. I am sensitive to them, and am constantly praising and giving reassurance, because I understand that they really do need and appreciate it. I am gentle and accepting, so maybe I am not seen at all as a threat to them, but more so as someone that they could confide in and be themselves around.
I really don't know for sure though, but this is what I'd like to think.

What does an INFJ think of an ENFP?
As for what I think of the ENFPs I have encountered, I find them to be absolutely delightful. They are certainly very childlike, and innocent in a way that makes me want to be protective. They are definitely off in their own world, and they are unique in the way that they interact with others - very warm, but also very hyper and open about themselves as well. They are people-people, social and outgoing, but also have the biggest hearts. They might not understand me, but they don't seem to be upset with it, rather they still like my company, and I appreciate just how easy it is to get along with them. Their scattered minds really amuse me.

What can an ENFP do to help an INFJ?
I don't think I've ever had an ENFP companion ask me how they could be of any help... Huh.
The only thing that comes to mind is to really listen, but in the way that I want them to seems to be more of an Fe-way rather than Fi, which doesn't seem like something that would really come to them, if at all.
Just take interest in whatever it is that they might want to talk about, encourage conversation with them about it. We'd really like that. (Might have to coax us out of our shells though - it takes a lot for me to freely talk about myself with someone!)

What traits should an ENFP control when dealing with INFJ friends?
Understand that we are by no means all that extroverted, and while I really do appreciate being invited to parties and other social events, it's most likely that I really don't want to show up (I only will just to make you happy). Don't force us into social situations with you, and please just keep our interactions one-on-one. Save all of the partying and invites for your more extroverted friends.
 
I just have to say, I was really into mbti matching until I met my supposed match and had the worst date of my life. He was ENFP and he was unbelievably rude, it was awful.So don't put too much weight in this stuff, ha!
 
"What does an INFJ think of an ENFP?
As for what I think of the ENFPs I have encountered, I find them to be absolutely delightful. They are certainly very childlike, and innocent in a way that makes me want to be protective. They are definitely off in their own world, and they are unique in the way that they interact with others - very warm, but also very hyper and open about themselves as well. They are people-people, social and outgoing, but also have the biggest hearts. They might not understand me, but they don't seem to be upset with it, rather they still like my company, and I appreciate just how easy it is to get along with them. Their scattered minds really amuse me."

I must say I really apreciate your comment. Once an INFJ had a crush on me and although I didn't find his willigness (mute wiligness, he has never admitted it bacause of his introvertion) so inevitable, there was a time something happened to me. I realised they just so adore my warmth, and being childlike, cheerful in the innocent way, (nicely put,really) that I now would love being protected by them. That somehow is in conflict with my value of independence, but I need it and appreciate it more and more. I have often felt they don't match my vivaciousness and desire to play and it takes lots of patience to get them to talk, but once you do, it is worth the effort. I used to have my feelings suppressed once in a while when around them. Just as one of your friends said, we so need your comments, affirmative comments and effusive to feel well..... but although a struggle, you may find it great once you manage to get it out from them. That is great they are so complicated and deep, just as we are.


Moreover, I have always wondered why the MBTI says we are matches, but now I see it makes some sense. It does. Thank you INFJ!
 
Last edited:
One of my best friends is an ENFP!! I love her to death but there are some moments we don't exactly see eye to eye! All the posts above have some very accurate descriptions and given me a lot of insight. Thanks for the post
 
Well I only know one INFJ, so I can only respond based on that. What do I like about him? Oh my, where to start....
From the very beginning we just clicked and understood each other in a way that is supremely rare (at least in my world). He's brilliant, fun, inspiring, understanding. Too many words... I love the way he looks at me. I love that he is protective in such a subtle way. I love that he trusts me enough to let me see him cry. Although it drives me absolutely bonkers, I love that I can't figure him out. That I can know him and not know him at all at the same time. Like my own personal puzzle.

I wish he was more open with his feelings about me though. Not being clear on that is tough to take. He's open with me about his deepest feelings about just about everything else, but personal feelings for me....very rare.
 
According to David Keirsey, INFJ and ENTP are supposed to be a match made in heaven so to speak. They are like yin and yang, their polar energies are somehow linked in a complementary way thanks to their shared preference for intuition (although they are of different attitudes). INFJs will likely find the ENTP to be an amusing and fun conversationalist. ENTPs can brighten the INFJ’s mood and help them to see the silver lining in any disappointment they face. INFJs can sometimes get caught up in a very narrow gloom and doom mindset and ENTPs are good at shifting perspectives and illuminating different vantage points for the INFJ to consider.

ENTPs tend to have an aversion to commitments be it to a relationship or anything else. INFJs are serious about their relationships and they dislike flaky fickle people who pose a flight risk. But if they see potential in their ENTP mate they will likely be patient and wait for them to come around while doing everything in their power to ensure their devotion such as thoughtful gestures and favors. INFJs enjoy the enthusiasm and energy they get from ENTPs and the lack of judgmental-ness they display.

Relationship Problems – Like all relationships, problems are bound to arise that threaten the love and bliss. ENTP’s with their flirtatious nature and ability to interact with all kinds of people may run the risk of triggering jealousy in their INFJ partners. ENTPs can wax hot and cold much like the INFJ does but for slightly different reasons. They may alternate between periods of engagement and intimacy and periods of emotional distance and inaccessibility. INFJs may have an issue with ENTP’s being messy and disorderly but the ENTP will disapprove of anyone interfering with their mess.

This was taken from a post by astroligion. There are more articles about the Myers Briggs and astrology there.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sandie33
This pairing can be amazing.

PENDING: A mutual understanding of maturity, similar background, immediate focus, upbringing and of course similar stages in life.

Trust me...too much unsorted baggage on one end of the other will tip the plane over.