The Deceptive Art of Ulterior Motives | INFJ Forum

The Deceptive Art of Ulterior Motives

just me

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Feb 8, 2009
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How many of you look at ulterior motives when something does not smell right?
 
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All the time. My mind usually goes to a negative action that people are doing because I know that most people are bad. I immediately assume something wrong is going on if something smells the least bit fishy. I've learned not to trust people. My intuition usually can smell a pile of crap from a mile away.
 
I am always curious why people do anything they do--good, bad, or indifferent. Sometimes people have motives you would describe as bad. Sometime they have motives you would describe as good and can be kept just as confidential. More often things are very grey and people have a multitude of interrelated reasons for doing the things they do and many of those reasons are very different from what's on the surface.

If your assumption is always that these reasons you don't have immediate access to are negative, you should probably check yourself. If you are only looking for what is negative, you will find it more often. You will sometimes find it when it is not there. You may also question whether you are of authority to deem which motives are or are not pure enough and by whose standards.

If you are to benefit from the curiosity, you must find balance and strive for understanding rather than condemnation.
 
How many of you look at ulterior motives when something does not smell right?

Even when it smells right I keep a mental picture of multiple motives around actions.
People seldom have simple motives - and I like to encourage the better ones: it might not make any difference in the external execution, but I think it helps people grow.
 
Think I more go on alert rather than condemn. My understanding of motives are often negative, though. That does not mean I do not learn from them. Shouldn't we learn? Get stabbed in the back, shouldn't we be cautious? Everything works out well, shouldn't we be thankful?
 
I used to be obsessed with this, to the point of conspiracy theories. :D I was always fearful that I wasn't as aware of what's happening so began to wonder and worry about motives. Found out it was a lost cause and too anxiety draining. I simply prepare myself ahead of time mentally and emotionally by making myself realize that people may and will have different and/or questionable motives for their actions and I can't control this. I can be cautious but that can lead to obsessing over it which isn't healthy. I wish I could say that I see someone's motives from a mile away but I can't. Sucks but all you can do is be wary but don't let it worry you too much.
 
I would say it matters how much is hanging of importance, whether I give it too much attention.