The art of not being offended | INFJ Forum

The art of not being offended

youhemmein

youhemmein

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thanks for sharing, it's an interesting idea and I disagree with some it of it.
 
HOW DARE YOU not copy+paste because clicking a link is just too much trouble for me :p

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]The Art of Not Being Offended
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[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]By Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli[/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular]Yes, this is psychodynamic. But let
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May said:
HOW DARE YOU not copy+paste because clicking a link is just too much trouble for me :p



i liked the article. i think much of the content is sage advice, although i'm a little wary about the part which says abuse is only abuse if you believe it to be so. such a mentality can easily degrade to one tolerating abuse.
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Sorry I made your life a little more difficult. Apologies. I don't agree entirely with the article either, but I definitely think the technique could help put things in perspective a large part of the time. I am an extremely sensitive person, so it's not always easy to see things this way, and I believe some things are worth the energy it takes to be offended, but I have been trying this out lately and it has helped me.
 
^lol, i was kidding, it was no trouble ;) and i agree the article has some useful advice, i think we all take things too personally sometimes and forget that other people are usually not intentionally trying to hurt us, but merely approaching the situation the only way their entire existence up until that point has enabled them to.
 
It reminds me of the idea that people are only the effects of different causes in their lives, I think it's naturalism though I may be wrong.
 
Barnabas said:
It reminds me of the idea that people are only the effects of different causes in their lives, I think it's naturalism though I may be wrong.
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you might be thinking of Determinism?
"The initial configuration of the universe may have been chosen by God, or it may itself have been determined by the laws of science. In either case, it would seem that everything in the universe would then be determined by evolution according to the laws of science, so it is difficult to see how we can be masters of our fate." -- Stephen Hawking
 
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May said:
you might be thinking of Determinism?

"The initial configuration of the universe may have been chosen by God, or it may itself have been determined by the laws of science. In either case, it would seem that everything in the universe would then be determined by evolution according to the laws of science, so it is difficult to see how we can be masters of our fate." -- Stephen Hawking
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maybe, so then determinism is a stance that some naturalist hold. I love world views, very fun to learn.

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sorry if this is going off topic
 
Right, and if I didn't want to be raped, the onus is all on me as well.
 
Considering when the article came, and the title of it, along with the current forum climate and that i'm doing several other things, yeah. I didn't read it.
 
Very good advice, and like all good advice, hard to follow consistently, but nonetheless good. Thank you for sharing :)
 
Interesting. I've come across this idea before, and it makes sense. I am a a bit weary about the abuse section, because a lot of times it's just not that simple, especially when the person being abused is a child, but still worthwhile to think about.
 
It is all a matter of picking your battles.

The bad guys in the movies tend to say that a a lot, "Nothing personal."

Certain trivialities in life demand perspective to avoid living a life of stress, but I refuse to live my life like a robot. We must understand that our emotions are not always accurate to the situation, but I would never wish anyone to be emotionless. We live in a sea of isolated inferences.

I personally believe that a person needs to feel safe in order to work through their emotional states and to truly understand themselves and get a grasp on why they feel a certain way. Some are able to do this without the help of others, some aren't.

There is often a certain level of fear at expressing uncomfortable emotions. Most people don't like their expressions to be made into trivialities by recklessness.
 
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NeverAmI said:
There is often a certain level of fear at expressing uncomfortable emotions. Most people don't like their expressions to be made into trivialities by recklessness.
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. . . you're brilliant . . .
 
Thanks! Good read:)
 
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