That feeling that your best days are behind you...

[Lark]

Do you ever get this?

That most of the firsts are past, the good ones you've looked forward to anyway, that nostalgia brings a warmer glow than anything novel could, that fewer people are around that you could discover a common interest with and, possibly most important of all, the newer or more recent versions of the things you're nostalagic about or which gave you happiness, including film or acting or comic talents, are not as good?

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

Well, I'm so old, I can remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny...

As to your question: No. I do not want to live in the past, wonderful as my experiences have been. My life is in the here and now, and I look forward to the future, scary as that is. As Calvin says to Hobbes in the final installment: "It's a magical world, Hobbes, Ol' Buddy...Let's go exploring!"

There's always something new do, learn, see, do, etc. Go out and find it--whatever "it" may be. The skills one has become rusty if unused/untried. Work on 'em to keep 'em fresh or expand 'em. Just my two cents from The Peanut Gallery.

 

[Lark]

Well, I'm so old, I can remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny...

As to your question: No. I do not want to live in the past, wonderful as my experiences have been. My life is in the here and now, and I look forward to the future, scary as that is. As Calvin says to Hobbes in the final installment: "It's a magical world, Hobbes, Ol' Buddy...Let's go exploring!"

There's always something new do, learn, see, do, etc. Go out and find it--whatever "it" may be. The skills one has become rusty if unused/untried. Work on 'em to keep 'em fresh or expand 'em. Just my two cents from The Peanut Gallery.

I dont want to live in the past so much as things didnt improve the way I was led to expect they would and I see no sign of that changing.

 

[La Sagna]

A couple of years ago I felt like my life was all in the past and there was nothing to look forward to. So I decided to change my life completely. It's been a challenge and I've sometimes thought that it would have been easier to just coast through the rest of my life but I know that is not true and if I had not made major changes I would have ended up depressed. I need goals and challenges and hope that I can shape a life that is at least somewhat satisfying for me. I have to work on creating a life that excites me and makes me want to get up in the morning or else I fall back in the mindset that my 'real' life existed only in my past. In the past I reacted to the needs around me, now the future is in my hands.

 

[sassafras]

Well, if you think about it, the 'specialness' of those milestone moments are more social and cultural construct. Just because society has failed to single out any additional milestone moments on its list doesn't mean that other moments in your individual life can't be significant. Part of adulthood comes with a sense of independence, figuring out what is important to you and galvanizing yourself to pursue and enjoy those things on your own terms. You don't need society's permission to tell you that 'yes, this is important. This means you are a man/woman of substance.' You can celebrate yourself and accomplishments on your own. Choose to make things special. Give yourself things to look forward to. You can throw yourself a 'I learned how to ski!' party or a 'I got over my fear of public speaking' potluck or really, just anything that you feel is important or significant to you and your journey in life.

Continuously looking backward is a symptom of a loss of passion and zest for living. When you encounter that, you have to examine your beliefs about the future and what's standing in your way of feeling great about it and then do what you can to change that outlook to something more positive.

But first, you have to let yourself find hope again. You can't change or do anything without it.

 

[Lark]

Yeah but I dont see this as a negative thing, or that its about a crisis or coasting through life, you can be pretty life affirming about life while still believing that the best has gone by and there's going to be fewer firsts.

Its interesting to see these responses, all things considered looking forward and looking backward are pretty much the same, we all live in the present.

 

[sprinkles]

Nope. I don't measure my quality of life based on quality of transient things. And besides, the things I think were the best still are.

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

I dont want to live in the past so much as things didnt improve the way I was led to expect they would and I see no sign of that changing.
OK. What change(s) did you expect that isn't/aren't happening?

We all live in the present, although there are those who probably look wistfully to earlier days. It's probably fair to say that we all do that sometimes. We all came here by different routes and those journeys color our outlook on both the present and the future.

 

[sassafras]

Yeah but I dont see this as a negative thing, or that its about a crisis or coasting through life, you can be pretty life affirming about life while still believing that the best has gone by and there's going to be fewer firsts.

Its interesting to see these responses, all things considered looking forward and looking backward are pretty much the same, we all live in the present.

Your previous made it seem like you were feeling rather morose about the future, which is what I was responding to in part.

I dont want to live in the past so much as things didnt improve the way I was led to expect they would and I see no sign of that changing.

But you're right, there's nothing wrong with looking back on our pasts (or planning our futures) so long as we live in the present.

 

[Lark]

Your previous made it seem like you were feeling rather morose about the future, which is what I was responding to in part.

Not my reading but that's interesting, its good to get insights into what others think.

But you're right, there's nothing wrong with looking back on our pasts (or planning our futures) so long as we live in the present.

I know.

 

[say what]

Honestly, I feel like life is just getting started and going to get better. I'm not 'old', but I'm not 'young'...I feel that my youth was great, and I've done a lot, but there's something so freeing about growing up. I almost feel like I'll experience more 'firsts' as I get older. Maybe it's because I haven't felt that I've reached my best days...but I've certainly felt that I've had some super amazing ones- and that there are still awesome ones to come.

 

[just me]

I'm getting closer to my home. Grand Funk Railroad

 

[sprinkles]

Honestly, I feel like life is just getting started and going to get better. I'm not 'old', but I'm not 'young'...I feel that my youth was great, and I've done a lot, but there's something so freeing about growing up. I almost feel like I'll experience more 'firsts' as I get older. Maybe it's because I haven't felt that I've reached my best days...but I've certainly felt that I've had some super amazing ones- and that there are still awesome ones to come.

Well hey, I'm older than you so lol

I mean like to a considerable level too. Some things do get old but there can always be new if you let it.

 

[say what]

Well hey, I'm older than you so lol

I mean like to a considerable level too. Some things do get old but there can always be new if you let it.

Haha! I guess things could get old! I do like the idea that it's up to you to make things new- because I think it's true. I think it's a lot of perspective!

 

[sprinkles]

Haha! I guess things could get old! I do like the idea that it's up to you to make things new- because I think it's true. I think it's a lot of perspective!

Yeah, like that song I posted in your thread recently. It's relatively fresh and I just found it, but some people might pass it by because they don't prefer it.

Some people don't want new, they want old redone.

 

[Sensiko]

hang around the elderly… that’ll give you some perspective.

 

[Kanamori]

This is why you get an infj to be nice to you while you grow stupider every year.

 

[just me]

How many of you know elderly infjs?

 

[Eventhorizon]

So I aged quickly in a couple years. I feel physically older than I should at this point. I no longer feel as if the world is there for my taking, rather to tread more carefully less I do something that makes it so I cant take care of myself.

So what does it feel like? It feels like betrayal. I thought I had all the time in the world but now I dont. Life is finite and evedyday henceforth I do not get stronger but weaker. Let me officially say f this. For those of you who would say oh but you can take up photography and shuffle board... f you. I do like photography but thats besides the point

Yeah its weird.... mountain biking, white water rafting I never thought to myself one day I wouldnt be able to do it any more and that was the best it was ever going to be.

 

[Delta]

I had a period of physical illness which threw me off balance for a while and really impacted me because it went on for so long. Recovering was a slooow process and seemed to hide my usual gusto. In my dark moments I struggled with regrets, wondering if I had in fact wasted my life by being a mother, wife and overly dedicated worker. Now I am thinking this was a valuable process and can look at my life as a series of cycles. Nature has cycles which the animal kingdom are very aware of but I think our ego states can make our intimate cycles seem distant and impersonal.

I am grateful to have my health back and being well has greatly relieved the tension I felt towards contemplating that I would never be the same. Rather I can now see that all my experiences are valid, the dark times as well as the good. It's crazy really. Now I'm in a position where I am doing what I really want to do! The past cycles make sense and I am more attuned to the state in between cycles and now simply enjoy life.