Hi,
This will be my first post to this forum after taking a test which seems to identify me with the INFJ personality type. I have struggled to find a convincing answer to dealing with stress, burnout, anxiety 'et al.' when it comes to work, so thought I would try here since it seems I face the same kind of problem as other INFJs.
Context:
Throughout my life (I'm 20), I always worked my hardest and gave it my all in whatever it was I truly wanted to achieve. Achieving some of the highest results my high school ever saw, alongside successfully getting into a world-class music college in my junior years, I felt like I was on top of the world, particularly as someone coming from a family where having these options just wasn't the case. By age 16, the world was my oyster: I was beginning the next step in my life after having worked my way up to this point. Things still went well for the next two years, and I found myself in a position to go and study Music at Cambridge. Again, this was huge for someone like me coming from a family who didn't go to university, let alone one of the best in the world so worked tirelessly towards achieving this goal, not only for me but for my family too.
This is where things started to go a bit pear-shaped. Juggling the demands of school alongside studying at music college meant 6 days of school, and 1 day off on the weekends. It was intense, though my love of music college got me through the struggles this schedule brought. Going into my exams, I was stressed and tired from all the constant study I was putting in to achieve the grades for my offer. On my second exam, one which I was expecting to do quite well on, suddenly brought on an anxiety attack for the first time in my life, which, of course, I did not anticipate. This threw everything out of focus. It became clear that the pressure to get in was just too much. I had spent my entire life working hard with focus when it came to my goals, yet for the first time in my life, this method seemed to 'fail' me. Fast-forwarding 2 years on from that, I narrowly missed the grades after all 6 exams and didn't get in. Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing as it became clear that going there wouldn't have been the best for me, and am happy at another highly reputable university.
With that aside, this still leaves the elephant in the room: working hard doesn't mean success (all the time). But if that is the case, which I realise now, what is a satisfying conclusion to draw from this, both in terms of not driving myself to that point again, but also wanting to put my all into the things I do as an INFJ? This is the sticky dilemma I find myself in now at university and just in my day-to-day life. I have taken up meditation which has helped a great deal in dealing with those times anxiety crops up my life. This has brought me out of slump and is something I will continue to do. Yet, whilst I have this coping mechanism to keep me grounded, there is still that fear that this wouldn't be enough to prevent me from experiencing another anxiety attack like that which I experienced two years ago if I started 'working hard' again like I did. The fear has made me feel almost boxed in from unleashing my true capabilities and potential as I felt I had prior to that exam event. Is it a simple case of using the meditation but not changing the work ethic I had in the past? Is that work ethic just flawed in itself, despite working for me for so long?
This is an interesting topic so would be interested in any responses/advice! What did you do to get round this? Is this something you struggle with currently?
This will be my first post to this forum after taking a test which seems to identify me with the INFJ personality type. I have struggled to find a convincing answer to dealing with stress, burnout, anxiety 'et al.' when it comes to work, so thought I would try here since it seems I face the same kind of problem as other INFJs.
Context:
Throughout my life (I'm 20), I always worked my hardest and gave it my all in whatever it was I truly wanted to achieve. Achieving some of the highest results my high school ever saw, alongside successfully getting into a world-class music college in my junior years, I felt like I was on top of the world, particularly as someone coming from a family where having these options just wasn't the case. By age 16, the world was my oyster: I was beginning the next step in my life after having worked my way up to this point. Things still went well for the next two years, and I found myself in a position to go and study Music at Cambridge. Again, this was huge for someone like me coming from a family who didn't go to university, let alone one of the best in the world so worked tirelessly towards achieving this goal, not only for me but for my family too.
This is where things started to go a bit pear-shaped. Juggling the demands of school alongside studying at music college meant 6 days of school, and 1 day off on the weekends. It was intense, though my love of music college got me through the struggles this schedule brought. Going into my exams, I was stressed and tired from all the constant study I was putting in to achieve the grades for my offer. On my second exam, one which I was expecting to do quite well on, suddenly brought on an anxiety attack for the first time in my life, which, of course, I did not anticipate. This threw everything out of focus. It became clear that the pressure to get in was just too much. I had spent my entire life working hard with focus when it came to my goals, yet for the first time in my life, this method seemed to 'fail' me. Fast-forwarding 2 years on from that, I narrowly missed the grades after all 6 exams and didn't get in. Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing as it became clear that going there wouldn't have been the best for me, and am happy at another highly reputable university.
With that aside, this still leaves the elephant in the room: working hard doesn't mean success (all the time). But if that is the case, which I realise now, what is a satisfying conclusion to draw from this, both in terms of not driving myself to that point again, but also wanting to put my all into the things I do as an INFJ? This is the sticky dilemma I find myself in now at university and just in my day-to-day life. I have taken up meditation which has helped a great deal in dealing with those times anxiety crops up my life. This has brought me out of slump and is something I will continue to do. Yet, whilst I have this coping mechanism to keep me grounded, there is still that fear that this wouldn't be enough to prevent me from experiencing another anxiety attack like that which I experienced two years ago if I started 'working hard' again like I did. The fear has made me feel almost boxed in from unleashing my true capabilities and potential as I felt I had prior to that exam event. Is it a simple case of using the meditation but not changing the work ethic I had in the past? Is that work ethic just flawed in itself, despite working for me for so long?
This is an interesting topic so would be interested in any responses/advice! What did you do to get round this? Is this something you struggle with currently?
