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Shai Gar
I'm never offended when someone tells me they don't find me attractive. Hurt if I value their opinion, but never offended unless it's clear they're just trying to hurt me.
I hold gay men's opinions as valid as straight women's opinions as to whether or not I'm attractive, and equally flattered if either finds me so.
I hold gay men's opinions as valid as straight women's opinions as to whether or not I'm attractive, and equally flattered if either finds me so.
It really depends on the person. I have some gay male friends who I would be offended if they told me that, but if I didn't know them it would depend on how they say it and how they present themselves. It also makes a difference whether they are attractive or not.
So most likely, I wouldn't care.
So most likely, I wouldn't care.
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Kierkegaard once wrote something to the effect that if someone compliments you, you at least owe him or her a tip of your hat, but if someone criticizes you, you owe him or her nothing. I guess that's basically how I feel about someone finding me attractive or not...
If someone, anyone, didn't find me attractive, I wouldn't be offended or even obliged to respond with anything more than a shrug. I think VH summed my opinion up pretty well:
If someone, anyone, didn't find me attractive, I wouldn't be offended or even obliged to respond with anything more than a shrug. I think VH summed my opinion up pretty well:
Pretty much the same here. I think I've gotten more overt compliments from bi males and gay males than I have straight males as of recent. I don't really get hurt if someone doesn't find me attractive though, attraction is not a choice. It might hurt a little bit if I'm actually attracted to the person, but I wouldn't feel like a ugly person.
- Nov 12, 2008
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I do have friends who would be more offended if a gay guy/girl were to tell them they did or didn't think they are attractive. One comes to mind because she has this notion that gay guys are much better at determining esthetic worth. Therefore are better and more fit judges of what is attractive. It's a wrong notion, but a notion she holds.
The majority of my friends wouldn't care. But I'd imagine most of them would feel uneasy if a gay guy/girl were to say they found them attractive.
I'd be more offended if I were shot down for my personality, even though it makes sense to do so.
Just remember, you can have 2 girls at the same table with completely different opinions on how you look. In collage my class was eating lunch together, this one guy asked if he was cute. Now, only me and another girl dared to answer. The other girl went first and said "I don't think you're cute" in a sort of "of course you're not voice". Me, answering right after said "What?! He's extremely cute!" I was genuinly shocked that she didn't think so as well. It was probably the first moment that I really truely saw a completely different perspeption of the same person that was utterly honest. Funny thing is right after one guy in the back said "yeah he's cute" then went wide eyed realizing what he said. Awesome tension breaker.
So even if one person thinks you're a dog, it is completely possible that you are not, and that someone thinks you're super cute. As a note that guy in the example had a girlfriend too, so 3 against 1.