Soul mates | INFJ Forum

Soul mates

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by the, Feb 17, 2010.

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  1. the

    the Si master race.
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    Ever notice that once someones supposed soul mate leaves them/dies/what-have-you, the person who lost their soul mate goes on to find a new soul mate? What do you think, can there be more than one soul mate? Is sexin' someone who is not your soul mate wrong?


     
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  2. Morpheus

    Morpheus Community Member

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    I don't believe in soul-mates to begin with. I do believe in love, though. Kind of. I find the concepts ill-defined.

    I think people have the potential to form strong emotional and physical bonds with pretty much anyone. We shall call these bonds love. With some the potential is realized as if by itself, whereas with others it requires extreme circumstances to flourish. If you want to call a person you love your soul-mate, be my guest.

    Usually soul-mate refers to some sort of predestined divine match, a one true love, your other half without whom you can never be complete and all that pseudo-romantic jargon. I believe that's delutional thinking and uncalled for melodrama.

    I don't think sex can ever be wrong. Unless it's used to hurt someone. Or to gain an undue advantage. So, it can be wrong quite often. But never for it's own sake. Soul-mateness doesn't enter into the picture at all.
     
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    #2 Morpheus, Feb 17, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2010
  3. IndigoSensor

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    I definitely believe that there are soul mates out there. Note the s, as I do not feel there is just "the one".

    I also don't see anything wrong with being someone who isn't a soul mate. As long as each person goes into the relationship wanting to gain something from it, I don't see anything wrong with it. I can't think of a reason why not to be with someone who isn't a soulmate (besides, you don't always know someone is a soulmate right away). Of course, being with someone else while you are with someone else, is cheating and thus wrong. That goes without saying.
     
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  4. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I wonder what that term really means - 2 people who were meant to be together? I'm not sure. I guess the closest I've come to defining it is the idea of 2 people truly connecting on a level that most people don't ever connect on. A slight part of me is cynical about this, maybe because I've yet to experience it (although I may have come close), but I suspect it probably is real. If it is real, then it makes sense to me that soul mate relationships exist within each type of relationship, not only romantic relationships. I wonder where the idea of "soul mates = romance" originated; I wonder if it was a marketing scheme or literary concept that gained quick popularity. I say this because I really don't understand why or how this would be limited to romantic relationships, or believe that it is.

    To answer your questions, I think people can definitely experience more than one soul mate relationship. And with regards to sex, I believe it's fine if it's mutually consensual and all the ethical jazz, soul mate or not.
     
    #4 Soulful, Feb 17, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2010
  5. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    For me, soulmate status is about a deep bond of intimacy between loved ones. I guess we all define it slightly differently, because we attach whatever meaning it has for us. Even the attachment that it doesn't exsist. I also belive too, that it doesn't have to be limited to only one person. I believe I have felt soulmate status with a few people throughout my life in a romantic way, and also with a very few select, certain friends.
     
  6. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    I wrote this about 3 years ago. It's funny because I was rereading it a bit today before you even posted this Uber.

    Anyway, yes, I believe in soul mates.. with an s at the end, and I believe in monogamy with a sole mate, or one person.. but I also believe that sometimes things don't always work.. So perhaps I believe more in the concept of connectedness as opposed to only one person out there that you can be connected to souly/soley.. :wink:


    There are moments of certainty, when you are sure of your uniqueness and utter loneliness. You are without doubt in the knowledge that your thoughts and emotions can never be understood by another living being. And then as if solely to remind you that you are not so different you hear them. You hear the words you've always thought but have never spoken outloud. These words come out of his or her lips and linger in an almost taunting way. You know you've never told another soul the way you feel. Certainly you've never told this person. Yet steadily they spill out your ideas, as if they are their own. Could they be? You know then, in that moment, that you are connected.


    Time and space do not have barriers on your understanding and between you there is rarely a lack of conversation. It is almost as if you are just bouncing ideas off of yourself. Sometimes it is on the brink of creepy, but mostly it's just amazing. You always pick up just where you left off, as if you were always together. But then again, weren't you? Your love for one another is real and runs deep and you have hope for this life in almost the way that you have hope for your own. You are kindred spirits, parallel beings, and timeless soul mates.



    Then, there are days when your souls fulfillment is not enough. You want to be loved in a complete body and soul kind of way. Yet again you are aware of you loneliness, until you meet them. He, or she, really sees you and you really see them. Still, despite everything you want to be together. Suddenly, you long for the touch of a familiar hand in yours. There is an aching need to be held in those particular arms and be kissed by their specific lips.


    You become aware of true desire and real honest caring for another. You realize that your life can not be nearly as fulfilling without them in it. They are not exactly like you, they are the counter you. They can calm or annoy you. They can make you laugh or drive you mad. And, everything you do together, even fighting is making love. You are intertwined, completely connected, and you have found your sole mate.
     
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  7. anica

    anica dark dreamer
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    Soil mates

    This is beautiful, and in my experience, quite accurate.
     
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  8. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    I don't really believe in soul mates. I see [romantic] "love" as a combination of friendship and physical attraction, and I think that the most important thing is that both of the people involved in the relationship genuinely want to make it work.

    I don't know how I feel about moving on after a loved one dies or leaves. It comes up in movies all the time, and maybe it's just me and maybe it's wrong, but I've always felt a bit like moving on is... Oh, jeez. I don't want to say anything bad about it, because I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Of course, at the end of the day, someone who loved you would want you to be happy. I don't know if it's what I would do, though.
     
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  9. PSchickadee

    PSchickadee Regular Poster

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    It means something different to everone :). For me, I have a soulmate in the sense that neither of us will remarry after one dies, and we will reunite in the afterlife. I don't feel we were predetermined, but I do feel that our very essence is the soul, therefore we are permanent mates. :)

    Yeah, I've always wondered how that works with other people if you marry one guy, he dies, you marry again, and then both are in heaven and you're just thinking "Awkward....!" This way I don't have to choose :p.
     
  10. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I'm not sure how I got to be my age, and am still so idealistic--but I am. I believe in soulmates. Just like was alreay stated, plural not just one. Just like with the word "love", it means different things to different people. Its not really definable person to person. We each attach our own meaning and feelings to it. For me it's that person you meet who compliments you so completely. Not two halves of a whole, but two wholes that together become greater than the sum of their parts. They make you become the best "you" that you can be when you are with them.

    Yeah, I think it can be a lover or a close friend, but the key is the connection and the recognition of that connection. Meeting them is like taking up on a conversation you left off in the last lifetime. I think if you are lucky you might meet one or two of these people in your lifetime. If you are extremely fortunate you may even find one for your partner. There is a reason we don't see this very often. Not really sure what it is. It may have to do with us helping others to further themselves along the path.

    Whatever the definition, I do believe in them. It's important to recognise these people if and when they come into our lives. Learn what we have to learn from them. It doesn't happen often, so its always for an important reason.
     
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  11. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    Perhaps in heaven we are all married to each other. No separations, all is connected
    I think maybe marriage and differences are human concepts --but in heaven we are no longer human. The soul has become complete
     
    #11 Top cat, Feb 18, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2010
  12. OP
    the

    the Si master race.
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    I always thought of the concept of a soul mate was a one person for one other person kind of deal. Reality/Life events has led me to vary my definition although deep down I always wish it could be that way. So its something I think about from time to time. I was just wondering other peoples opinions.
     
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  13. bamf

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    I don't really believe in the who "soul-mates" thing. I believe we're capable of having a deep/romantic connection with scores of people, and I find it hard to think that there's only one woman out there who will complete my soul, or any number of women who will complete my soul.

    I'm also not sold on the whole idea of a "soul", but what ever floats people's boats. It works for other people, and I think that's a great thing.
     
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  14. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    I believe in soul relationships, plural, but you don't have to mate with someone to connect on a soul level. That's optional, but undoubtedly wonderful.

    I should add though, that these soul level connections are quite rare, at least in my experience.
     
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    #14 Puck, Feb 18, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2010
  15. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    I like that you use the term soul relationships. And I agree that you don't have to be with someone ie. sleeping with them in order to connect on that level.

    I myself feel that I have been rather fortunate in this area.
     
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