Something something relationship/dating rant.

[That0neGuy]

So first, let me preface this post by saying this: I am not unsatisfied with life right now- in fact, I do have some good things going for me that I look forward to, and I would continue to shape my fortune that way.

With that out of the way, I would like to say that I am just about jaded with the dating scene however, simply because I strongly dislike putting in far more effort to land some decent conversations with others, and I do not like to go to extents to stand out among others because it is very pretentious to me. I am simply tired of being the one to always court others while someone else filters. It would feel nice to be courted after as a guy- there is seriously not enough of that around the world at all, because me not courting or not attempting to attract someone as the pursuer/initiator does not help my chances at all, which is quite more irritating. And no, dropping hints or making small gestures is not a form of initiation at all. I can pick up on signals, but they mean different things with different people, so I choose not to play those games.

Before anyone goes off and say "enjoy life, and let it happen," yes I do agree, but sitting around doing nothing in getting to know someone does not help the situation either. My main frustration is simply me wishing there were more gals/people who could do the courting out there, balance things out. It would be a hell of a lot easier on me and would make everyone else mutually happy, perhaps.

Any echos going on here, or a bit of insight are welcomed.

 

[Scientia]

You are an introvert. Of course you want someone to find you and do all of the work. What about putting yourself in situations where extroverts will notice you? Community service usually draws good people in general. Not just for dating but for friends. You could always have more friends, right @That0neGuy ?

If you believe some things are just meant to be, then no matter how much you look, if it isn't time, it isn't time. I don't have much advice on this because although I am really cute and smart and silly, I am also alone.

 

[Hoodie]

Welp, I feel ya. It sucks when people don't seem to put as much effort in as you. I personally haven't had a lot of experience with people in person, because I was homeschooled and don't know many people/guys. However, if we're talking dating sites, I certainly know your pain! Except guys on those sites tend to, for the most part, not know how to carry a conversation, and I'd find myself doing most of the work. I think it's just people in general, to be quite honest. Courting doesn't even seem to be a thing anymore. It's like finding a job; you have to know people. Back to the courting thing though: I think nowadays people just ask for other people's numbers and if they give it to ya, cool, if not, oh well.

I don't think I'm being very helpful. XD Like I said, I know more about online dating culture than irl stuff. Have you considered a dating site? XP I can't promise that ladies on there will be more forward (I've tried creating another account for experimental purposes, but it fell flat), but if you keep at it I think you'll most likely find a personality that's more what you're looking for. It just takes time and effort. Hardly anything magically happens.

 

[Professor Snep]

I am really cute and smart and silly

How silly are you?

 

[Scientia]

 

[That0neGuy]

Welp, I feel ya. It sucks when people don't seem to put as much effort in as you. I personally haven't had a lot of experience with people in person, because I was homeschooled and don't know many people/guys. However, if we're talking dating sites, I certainly know your pain! Except guys on those sites tend to, for the most part, not know how to carry a conversation, and I'd find myself doing most of the work. I think it's just people in general, to be quite honest. Courting doesn't even seem to be a thing anymore. It's like finding a job; you have to know people. Back to the courting thing though: I think nowadays people just ask for other people's numbers and if they give it to ya, cool, if not, oh well.

I don't think I'm being very helpful. XD Like I said, I know more about online dating culture than irl stuff. Have you considered a dating site? XP I can't promise that ladies on there will be more forward (I've tried creating another account for experimental purposes, but it fell flat), but if you keep at it I think you'll most likely find a personality that's more what you're looking for. It just takes time and effort. Hardly anything magically happens.

The funny thing is, this is a dating website I'm talking about. I think I should have clarified that first. Real-life dating is already something I know about- I already have friends to help keep a look-out. lol

 

[Breeze]

I've not had a girlfriend in 5 years so I know your pain D:

Recently I've had a lot of interest from people online, conversations go great and they are forward with me about how they feel but then there's the one, niggling problem that keeps coming up. They live abroad and it would have to be long distance =__=
I've had it blow up in my face too many times to try again.

I'm really 'sub' or 'beta' or whatever you like to call it which means I've got the same problem as you where I don't like going out to bars and clubs, especially where I live, and having to do all the leg work? Yawn. I'd love to find someone and have some nice conversations and then go from there as to whether it should go beyond friendship but it just never seems plausible as there's always an ocean between me and the people I like.