Slow thinkers | INFJ Forum

Slow thinkers

Soulful

Soulful

life is good
Nov 18, 2008
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I've noticed that I'm a fairly slow thinker. I seem to need much more time to mull ideas over than the people around me, and consequently it's resulted in difficulty in verbal communication (because of its off-the-cuff/on-the-spot nature), amongst other challenges.

Anyone else identify with the same kind of pattern of thinking? How do you adjust/cope in order to be able to engage with others and manage workloads, etc.?

For those of you who are fairly fast thinkers, I'm curious what you honestly make of people who seem to need time to gather their thoughts and process them at a slower speed than you?
 
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I don't know that we are slower thinkers. We just think more thoroughly than those that spout off the top of their heads.
I don't see that I am the one that needs to adjust. If they can't wait 5 - 10 seconds for an answer too bad.
 
MindYourHead said:
I don't think we are slower thinkers. We just think more thoroughly than those that spout off the top of their heads.
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Mhmm yeah maybe...
Who do you mean by "we"? introverts, nfs, infjs, yourself and myself and anyone else who identifies as such..?

It might be that... but I also really do feel as though it takes me longer to come to the same conclusions than it seems to take the people around me, including those who don't speak out of their behinds. It's possible I don't react as quickly mentally, and I'm also contstantly processing emotions along with every thought I have. It's super annoying. I feel like I need to cover a lot of internal ground before being able to say something. And I wonder if I'm prone to thinking in ineffective ways.

Is this along the lines of what you mean?

(Thanks for your response btw :))
 
I've always dealt with this. I have social anxieties that come from my inability to communicate ideas or even process them properly in conversation. I've never had the quick, easy answer or confidence in my initial thoughts. In dealing with this, I've found that listening carefully allows more clarity in a fast-paced situation. It's hard not to get caught up in listening to my own thoughts rather than paying attention to what's going on around me. Is that something you deal with as well?
 
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Soulful said:
Mhmm yeah maybe...
Who do you mean by "we"? introverts, nfs, infjs, yourself and myself and anyone else who identifies as such..?

It might be that... but I also really do feel as though it takes me longer to come to the same conclusions than it seems to take the people around me, including those who don't speak out of their behinds. It's possible I don't react as quickly mentally, and I'm also contstantly processing emotions along with every thought I have. It's super annoying. I feel like I need to cover a lot of internal ground before being able to say something. And I wonder if I'm prone to thinking in ineffective ways.

Is this along the lines of what you mean?

(Thanks for your response btw :))
Click to expand...

Yes, by "We" I meant us introverted types. :nod:
 
MindYourHead said:
I don't think we are slower thinkers. We just think more thoroughly than those that spout off the top of their heads.
I don't see that I am the one that needs to adjust. If they can't wait 5 - 10 seconds for an answer too bad.
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+1
That's what I was thinking too.

I often pause before responding and say Hmmmm. If I feel comfortable with them - I'll move my hand out away from my body is sort of a "wait" gesture and/or look away. The hmmm sound signals about to speak and it gives me a moment to pull it together.

We aren't slow thinkers at all. There was a discussion thread on how smart INFJs were as compared with INTJs and it was stated both types often use the entire brain at one time - when coming up with a complex thought or solution. He mentioned the Blue Zen Mind.

Dominant introverted intuitive personality types, specifically the INFJ and INTJ are the most likely to achieve this state.

Not only do they achieve this state when they engage in an area of expertise, they also show this pattern when tackling an unfamiliar, novel problem and or envisioning the future. All areas of the neocortex are called to action to realize an answer.

The answer is often complex and difficult to explain.
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http://www.annholm.net/2011/11/the-blue-zen-brain-infjintj/
 
technics said:
Are you slow in thinking or in translating it to verbal language?
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I think it is a bit of both, but maybe moreso the former. I think I am slow in speaking because I need to pause to think, and I need time to muddle through my thoughts..
but sometimes it also takes me time to translate my thoughts into language. This happens most often when I haven't had the time to adequately think through my thoughts or feel anxious and am not able to think clearly.
 
Soulful said:
This happens most often when I haven't had the time to adequately think through my thoughts or feel anxious and am not able to think clearly.
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Yup, I can relate... it's particularly difficult for me to articulate my thoughts when I'm anxious - see intro vid... heh.

I feel "slow" during these moments, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to keep my thoughts "together" - they either go blank or become harder to translate into words.
 
Soulful said:
This happens most often when I haven't had the time to adequately think through my thoughts or feel anxious and am not able to think clearly.
Click to expand...

+1

Unless I've already extensively thought about them, I need reflection time for novel problems. As a Ni dominant, withdrawal from the immediate context is arguably required for us, INFJs and INTJs, to achieve optimal mental clarity by synthesizing information (See Dr. Nardi's work on personality, referenced above by @Kgal ). In essence, you're probably quite normal and have little to worry about, Soulful (and, really, comparison to others is rarely beneficial). There are different strokes for different folks.

Edit: I can't clearly express myself anywhere outside the Internet and essays; my friends often poke me about having a "quagmire for a mind". It's actually kind of amusing once I stop being frustrated at my horrid verbal articulation. Just thought I'd add that.
 
I am a slow thinker. Kind of on the wave length of : if you are good at something you can do it without thinking - it comes automatically. I am good at thinking/deciding/working on/about things by adding time and putting it on the back burner. That is when I make what I think are the best decisions.
 
I perceive things pretty quickly (make sense of things)
I make decisions and explain myself more slowly (compose things)
 
o_q
"I perceive things pretty quickly (make sense of things)
I make decisions and explain myself more slowly (compose things)"


Yeah it's gets worse as you get older. Not cause you lose your mind. Somehow lose ability. Become stupid and ready to die. I'm not that old, just not 20. But with the more mistakes, experiences, etc you have that much more to reflect on. And if you're the type to think about what you say, then you measure it against all your past.
Easier when you're 20. Quick answers don't take much. Have fun getting older. Unless you're older than I am and then just tell me to shut up.
 
How much time do you spend online?

I can't remember where I read it, but apparently spending a lot of time on forums such as these actually hurts your ability to think quickly in situations that call for immediate responses-- here you feel the need to have proper grammar and you can always go back and correct everything you say, so there's not always a lot of flow when you're expressing your thoughts. It doesn't really help that there are so many grammar nazis out there waiting to jump on you the second you make a mistake-- it means you end up being doubly self-conscious about what you're going to type, proof-reading, etc.

I guess that if you have anxieties and such then that's an extra hurdle and can definitely slow you down because you're afraid of making a mistake. But anyways, it's probably better to be thoughtful and try to say something that actually has meaning even though in the company of certain people you'll probably end up focusing less on the content of your conversation and more on energy level/volume.
 
Rferraris said:
Yeah it's gets worse as you get older. Not cause you lose your mind. Somehow lose ability. Become stupid and ready to die. I'm not that old, just not 20. But with the more mistakes, experiences, etc you have that much more to reflect on. And if you're the type to think about what you say, then you measure it against all your past.
Easier when you're 20. Quick answers don't take much. Have fun getting older. Unless you're older than I am and then just tell me to shut up.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but a lot of 20 year olds just say whatever without really thinking about it. I do kind of notice how sharp some of these kids are nowadays though and I vaguely remember being able to think like that as well... but there's not really any sense of reflection or groundedness, which I definitely prefer.

I definitely don't have the same brain I did when I was 20 and I'm actually kind of sad to say that a lot of things are no longer as enjoyable, but in many ways I like this better. I'm not super old or anything I"m just kind of happy to be more mellowed out and not really caring what other people think... oh yeah, and the fact that I'm not surrounded by shallow narcissists or in heaps of debt helps too.

I don't know if they're the best years of my life, but right now is pretty good overall compared to say 12-15 or 23-25.
 
I don't think I would be categorized as a "slow thinker", but I definitely think and articulate myself more slowly when I am in certain mental states. Sleepiness, anxiety, frustration, self-doubt.. these things all influence my thinking speed and my ability to articulate myself. I believe they influence my "cognitive functions" too, in terms of mbti ... so I literally perceive, process, and express myself in a different manner in different states.

Regardless of what your normal is, I think that improving your processing speed and articulation skills is something that you can accomplish with time and effort, if that is something you would like to do. I find that regular cardiovascular exercise helps my mental functioning and emotional stability as a whole. Adequate sleep helps too. As does eating regularly....and spending time daily talking (gasp!) to socially acceptable human specimens (double gasp!!) IN PERSON (*faints*). These are just a couple examples taken from personal experience, though of course one will always have to figure out what works for them. Perhaps your growth with this could simply have to do with strategies to work around it as you said, like pre-thinking possible scenarios or things that people may say before the occasions for them arise. Or remain totally silent until you can form a thought in your head. It will give an added bonus of making you seem mysterious, and people will think you are a sage and will cluster around you and get quiet as they anticipate your speech, their eyes shining in wonder and admiration.
 
Yes, I've been thinking this has become more like me of late. Perhaps, we are also more thorough thinkers?
 
Originally Posted by Apone

"Yeah, but a lot of 20 year olds just say whatever without really thinking about it. I do kind of notice how sharp some of these kids are nowadays though and I vaguely remember being able to think like that as well... but there's not really any sense of reflection or groundedness, which I definitely prefer."

I kind of think that's my point. It easy to go through your teen years where you learn the sentences that people say. "I'm hungry." "Let get something to eat." "She seems depressed." "She has a hard life. You know her kids are sick and she just got divorced."

Sounds mature to say. But do you have a visceral sense of what your saying. Maybe yes, to a degree. But you've never been divorced. In fact you've never been in love, gotten married, had kids, for that matter you don't really even have a job.

It kinda like the movie " The Stepford Wives." They created the perfect women to say, look, act perfectly. Except there's no emotion. There's no connection. It's not a problem with the 20 year olds, it a problem for us looking for a world were we can identify and find connection. There's a tendency to make things what we want. And an example is sitting around at family picnics with my nieces and nephews as they seem all in charge of the world. Still young and having fun with friends. Out late. Succeeding in degrees and career prospects. Some fairly mature conversation. Until 6 months later when you find them making silly mistakes. Mistakes you once made and wouldn't now because you've been there, done that.

This might be a weird direction to go, but as an example or metaphor.
Imagine you're too risky dating too many people. A niece might come and say "well I don't know that I want to settle down. I want to find the right person. etc." I'm not trying to pass a moral judgement. That's not my point. But I've lost 2 close and maybe 10 altogether friends to HIV. I'm not sure they were all sexually transmitted. Like I said I took this in an unexpected direction, but to make my point someone in my shoes, and I'm married for 20 years and love her more everyday, so I'm not going anywhere, but let's say I were. Well, I'm going to reflect on the people I know that are dead. My niece doesn't seem to have a clue. I'll be careful. Just dismiss it because she has no real consequence. It doesn't touch her. Her friends aren't gone. She wasn't at the funeral. She didn't see their cold dead faces, the faces of friends you loved, gone. Do you think that would change your thoughts on dating?

And the time it takes for me to respond when someone asks if I would date you is calculated by my thinking of each friend, each funeral, all the other friends that were friends with the ones that died, remembering the conversations I had with them before they dated other people, what is my impression of their lives when they started dating again. Remembering their struggles with dating again, and this list doesn't end.
Ask me if I'm ready to date and you might get an answer in a few weeks.
Absent all those experiences to reflect on it's a two second response. Sure, sounds like fun, or nahh, with someone else right now.

Supposedly our brains aren't fully developed until we are in our thirties, or at least 27 I think is the earliest if I remember correctly. So when you're talking to your 20 year old niece, remember she still growing and her brain isn't even fully developed.

This helped me put things in perspective. Was it helpful or did you know all this already. Looking forward to what you'd say.
 
Since most decisions aren't life or death unless your job places you in those situations, there is no harm in taking a few moments to come to a conclusion.
There are countless occasions were if I had based a decision on my first reaction to something, my decision would have been wrong.

There are occasions though where if I'm not careful I can get into a trap of over thinking and over analyzing something to the point I can't easily make a decision.
 
This thread is quite funny actually. I read it this morning,and decided to post this evening because I needed some time to mull it over. :p

On that note...I'm a "slow" thinker. I dont think it has so much to do with being slow as it is to do with being thorough! It used to really upset me when I was a teenager. If it's a topic I've already extensively researched/thought about, I could readily spout a novel on my thoughts and opinions. I was brought up in the church, so a lot of youth group meetings and bible studys. I was always frustrated as I knew I had questions about what was being discussed, I just didnt manage to spout them off like everyone else did! Nothing would come to me, but then I'd go away and think about it for a few days and have so many questions. I'm a deep thinker, I suppose is the way I;d put it!
 
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