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[mindlink]

Now i`ve came to the conclusion,that obviosly im holding back a side of myself,not from mbti,but from the life experience i`ve aquire throughout life in the long run.

Apparently i seem to be more stronger then i let myself to think,mentally that is.
Although,i only use this side,just to protect myself rather then use it,to make my life better.

I would love to talk more about this topic,but for some reason i feel rather vulnerable talking about this.
Probably my paradigms who knows.


From what i read in some books,my brain is literaly forcing me not to talk about this,its a defence mechanism.


Any other infj relate to this issue?




If yes lets talk about it...im sick of living in the shadow.
And im asuming other infj`s stumbled on this issue.

 

[mindlink]

Since i had a harsh education....i saw that i am a person who is a bit rough around the edges and i can spot other people like me really fast,i also saw that besides that there are other people achieved healthy ones,that tell me,i somehow have to use this hidden side in a good way,not in a bad way.



Along with the harsh education came alot of explosive anger,along with my passion....not a good mix.
I don`t hit people,but i don`t exactly say nice things either.

This attitude has literaly,stolen alot of good things from my life and i want to end it.
As i see it i have an anger management problem....and this anger management problem is preventing me from understanding who i really am.

 

[mindlink]

My Karate sensei for instance said that im scatter brained and i have a bad opinion of myself.
Scatter brained i understand since i always think alot,as for the bad opinion of myself....im guessing i don`t accept who i am.

Accepting yourself means that you have to settle for the good and the bad that you have.
The flaws and the tallents.

Im not going to leave this by chance and think that i am going to ''Mature'' over time.

Everyone on this forum is free to express themselves,the more the merrier.

And if from this problem some people might find some relief to their life then all the better,im glad my obstacles had some use.

 

[mindlink]

Sorry about the multiple posts on this thread i know it appears on the main page and it can annoy a few people.

 

[Breeze]

I kind of know what you mean but I don't relate exactly to you. My education wasn't harsh but my class mates often were to me. Growing up I also was incredibly angry and passionate though as I've grown up the anger has left me but the passion has stayed. It's not that I don't still get angry over things but I've learned to just accept the things I cannot change for what they are and to change those that I can.

I suppose really everything is a lesson and we hold onto each lesson and experience more so than others might, though it's what you take from said experiences which is important. I've only been through a few bad things though my opinion of what I feel is bad will inevitably be different, because of this the way in which we carry ourselves will also change, not just because of what the world has done to us but what we have done to the world, or at least our perception of it.

It's quite interesting though as my karate teacher, although we get along quite well only ever tells me one thing about myself and it's the same thing each time I go up a new grade which is "eat a pizza or something" as my new belts are always too long.

If you're not happy with yourself how can you ever be happy? Sometimes it's best not to evaluate yourself and your worth too much and one should simply be one's self and do what one believes to be right without worry of any hindsight.

 

[Kgal]

Since i had a harsh education....i saw that i am a person who is a bit rough around the edges and i can spot other people like me really fast,i also saw that besides that there are other people achieved healthy ones,that tell me,i somehow have to use this hidden side in a good way,not in a bad way.



Along with the harsh education came alot of explosive anger,along with my passion....not a good mix.
I don`t hit people,but i don`t exactly say nice things either.

This attitude has literaly,stolen alot of good things from my life and i want to end it.
As i see it i have an anger management problem....and this anger management problem is preventing me from understanding who i really am.

Anger.

Hmmm.... I think it's excellent you have recognized one of your shadow aspects....and also that you see it is hindering you from a life you wish to live.
Is the book you mention about Anger? What does your sensai tell you to do about it?

When I finally dug deep into me to find my anger - I did rituals to process it out of me. This involved writing it out on paper while feeling it - screaming and yelling and growling it out - crying for the hurt and wounded me - then burning the paper.
[MENTION=1939]Stu[/MENTION] knows a great deal about the Shadow side of us. Perhaps he'd have some information to share with you.

 

[Stu]

"Everyone carries a shadow,and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.It may be (in part) one's link to more primitive animal instincts, which are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind.

Jung, C.G. (1938). "Psychology and Religion." In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.13

we all tend to repress those aspects of ourselves that our ego has been conditioned to believe are "bad". unless we learn to accept and embrace these qualities to some degree, they will bite us hard on the ass.

for instance if i were to never flirt with the alluring women of the forum i might end up running off with some floosey for a week of debauchery and end up a fat drunk leech on the Bowery.

 

[mindlink]

I kind of know what you mean but I don't relate exactly to you. My education wasn't harsh but my class mates often were to me. Growing up I also was incredibly angry and passionate though as I've grown up the anger has left me but the passion has stayed. It's not that I don't still get angry over things but I've learned to just accept the things I cannot change for what they are and to change those that I can.

I suppose really everything is a lesson and we hold onto each lesson and experience more so than others might, though it's what you take from said experiences which is important. I've only been through a few bad things though my opinion of what I feel is bad will inevitably be different, because of this the way in which we carry ourselves will also change, not just because of what the world has done to us but what we have done to the world, or at least our perception of it.

It's quite interesting though as my karate teacher, although we get along quite well only ever tells me one thing about myself and it's the same thing each time I go up a new grade which is "eat a pizza or something" as my new belts are always too long.

If you're not happy with yourself how can you ever be happy? Sometimes it's best not to evaluate yourself and your worth too much and one should simply be one's self and do what one believes to be right without worry of any hindsight.

O brother...i completely forgot about the anger from school.....

 

[mindlink]

Anger.

Hmmm.... I think it's excellent you have recognized one of your shadow aspects....and also that you see it is hindering you from a life you wish to live.
Is the book you mention about Anger? What does your sensai tell you to do about it?

When I finally dug deep into me to find my anger - I did rituals to process it out of me. This involved writing it out on paper while feeling it - screaming and yelling and growling it out - crying for the hurt and wounded me - then burning the paper.
[MENTION=1939]Stu[/MENTION] knows a great deal about the Shadow side of us. Perhaps he'd have some information to share with you.

The anger thing was from multiple books....You would not believeeeeee just how persistant some bad habbits can be sometimes.

 

[mindlink]

My experience with anger is that.....if you don`t let it go,it can alter your personality.

 

[mindlink]

Another opinion of mine would be....infj`s from what i heard are empathetic....could a healthy Infj`s be so empathetic to the point where they actually ''shape shift'' their personality to understand how people react to their emotions?
If yes this is quite scary.

 

[Sriracha]

Each day is a new day. You can live it harboring the negativity of the past or you can see it for it's possibilities. It's your choice.