Should one be proud of who he or she is? | INFJ Forum

Should one be proud of who he or she is?

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Should people be proud of who they are inherently?

I always hear that people should be proud and accept all their flaws just because it's all part of what makes them one of a kind.

Or that God intended for them to be that way or whatnot.

Do you think this is a good mindset to have? Why or why not?
 
I think it's good to be proud of who you are. As for accepting flaws -- I don't think they should ever just be accepted. I think you need to examine them and work on self improvement on a consistent basis.
 
niffer said:
Why?
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Hmmm. Wording.

I'm thinking as I type, I don't have time to do one and then the other! ;)

For self esteem, I suppose. It's good to like yourself take pride in yourself to some extent. I feel like people are happier and more productive when they can take pride in themselves -- their work, their relationships, their appearance etc etc.
 
Katniss Neverbeef said:
Hmmm. Wording.

I'm thinking as I type, I don't have time to do one and then the other! ;)

For self esteem, I suppose. It's good to like yourself take pride in yourself to some extent. I feel like people are happier and more productive when they can take pride in themselves -- their work, their relationships, their appearance etc etc.
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But then it seems like people are just being proud for the sake of it if they are just inherently proud of themselves... does that make sense. Because the source of what makes them proud could be replaced with anything, any trait or characteristic. Which makes it meaningless and sort of an empty source of self-esteem. I am mainly talking about when people claim that they are proud to have (x characteristic or flaw) simply because it's part of them and not for any favorable reasons.
 
If you are really flexing your personal responsibility and there are just some things you ARE...yeah, sure.

At the very least don't be ashamed.
 
I say no.

I say don't be proud. Be accepting and harmonious, especially for all the things that you didn't actually have anything to do with, such as race.

Pride comes before a fall. One of the deadly sins is pride (the worst one!). Not that I believe in sin, per se, but I don't believe that pride actually helps.

It's normal to have a little now and then, but if you're puffed up like a fugu fish with contrived self importance then well... that's being delusional.

One can be at peace with their self without bringing pride into it.
 
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I think walking all puffed up on pride all day is a pretty bad way to live...

Also, being proud of who you are makes less sense to me than being proud of things you do / things you've done...

A measure of pride is good in my opinion - like patting yourself on the shoulder every time you accomplish something that was very challenging. Then however, when the deed is done, release the pride, and move on to face the rest of life's challenges.

Edit: Would also like to add - i think loving yourself with all your flaws etc is good. However, i believe a person is only as strong as his/hers weakest link, so working on the weaknesses / flaws as much as you can is very important in order to get stronger in life. I believe it's best to love oneself all included, but being too accepting of negative things you've done / you're doing might make you a rotten person. It's fine to accept mistakes you've done, it's actually good, unless you are not making up for it in any way. If you are just walking around all day doing bad shit i don't think and don't see how you can be at peace.

/rant
 
There's been SO many good comments on here. [: I think it's important to be proud of yourself - in a humble sort of way. Being arrogantly proud never seems to end well. I don't think being proud of yourself because of a characteristic you've always had or a developed reason is a negative thing. For example, empathy has always come naturally to me and in a subtle way, I'm proud of this. Not to sound horribly sappy or silly, but being proud of this quality helps me like myself when doing so has been difficult at times. I suppose you could replace that with a different trait but the positive outcome is still beneficial which provides some gain - in esteem, confidence, outlook, etc. A replecement that can help the person still holds meaning and change - more so in ways only they will understand, so I don't think this makes it an empty source.

I do agree, however, that flaws should never be accepted. Recognized, yes, but even in small changes, flaws can be improved. There's some saying about how people should always try and better themselves. Flaws should not be something to be ashamed of (that may hold the person back in guilt and what not) but certainly to always be worked on.

Basically, pride for humble reasons that leaves the feeler (? Haha, I couldn't think of a good word) with beneficial and positive outcomes can be healthy even if said benefits are small. At least, that's what I think - though I need more coffee so I may have worded everything wrong. Haha~ [:
 
You should be content with your good traits, fix your bad traits, and proud if you are a black woman who don't need no man.
 
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I think you should learn to, or at least try to, accept yourself. But I see no point in being proud. If you want to be proud, be proud of your accomplishments.

I think proudness without reasoning is ignorant and somewhat delusional in the extent of fanaticism.


On another note; Many things can be changed with dedication. Understand what you can change, and to what extent you're ready to go.
 
There's a difference between love and pride. It's a lot harder to change any flaws you may have (and of course you do, we all do) if you are wallowing in self-hatred and shame.

So you don't necessarily have to be proud of your flaws, but you can treat yourself in a loving manner, if possible, flaws and all. Maybe people say "Be proud of yourself" when they really mean "Love yourself".

Why do this? Because that's how you can improve situations and be honest about yourself to yourself, when you give yourself permission to have flaws. If you're saying "I am either perfect or completely awful" that gives you no leeway. It's all or nothing, which is not constructive.

Semantics, blah blah blah blah yadda yadda.
 
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ThisIsWhoIAm said:
Is that even possible?
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It's debatable, but I don't see why not. At least, I like to think it is but I may be naive haha~ [: For some reason, though they essentially mean the same thing, 'proud' and 'pride' have two different definitions in my mind. If he is a proud person, then he is strong in his beliefs, character, and morals without thinking he is above others. If he is prideful, then he is arrogantly strong in his beliefs, character, and morals while thinking that he is above others or at least better than most. I suppose that's what I mean by being proud in a humble sort of way. If that weird attempt at an example makes any sense... :p haha~
 
I think there is a difference between being proud and being confident.
Though they definitely have characteristics in common. Being proud of
who you intrinsically are may be very limiting. For example my younger
brother is diabetic and has been since he was seven years old. Is he
proud of that? no. Am I proud of him for being diabetic? No. Is my mother?
No. None of us are proud of his illness, even though intrinsically that is
who he is. However we are proud of how he has grown to own this illness
and how he has become a strong and sensible young man. When he was
first diagnosed as diabetic one of the first things he said was that he just
wanted to die. A normal life was being taken away from him. My parents
used to have to monitor him closely to make sure he was doing everything
correctly so that he would live. When he was about fifteen or so he went
into comas every few months because he wanted to be normal and he
wouldn't take the care that he needed for himself. Now he takes his shots
and he eats well and he genuinely cares about himself and doesn't want
to die because he is "abnormal". He doesn't run out of insulin anymore. He
used to fairly regularly. Now if he's low and can't afford to get any himeslf
he tells my parents ahead of time or arranges to get more himself. He is
not proud of being diabetic. He is proud of how he deals with being diabetic.

Another example is obese people who lose weight. Being unhealthily fat is nothing to be
proud of even if you're a child and it's not your fault that you are at an unhealthy
weight. I know that this is a very sensitive issue and I am sorry if this upsets
some of the forum members. I mean no harm or to hurt feelings. I'm merely
expressing my observations and personal thoughts. I am not ridiculing anyone
or aiming to hurt others. Most morbidly obese people are not proud of how they
look or "who they are". A lot of overweight adults were overweight as children.
They still feel shame for this. They are not proud of their weight but they also
feel out of control because they have been fat all of their lives. However when
they change their lives and become fit, not skinny, they feel proud. As they should.
They changed their entire lives. They changed their conditioning. They no longer
binge eat or gorge themselves. They worked hard to lose the weight and to become
fit. They're not proud of being skinny. They're proud of how they took control and
changed circumstances.


To me you should not be proud of things that were given to you by genetics. You
should be proud for things that you had to work for. That you strived for. You can
be confident with your natural blonde hair but you should never be proud that you
are blonde. You can be confident in your natural intelligence but you should never
be proud of your intelligence if you did not study hard or read or learn or work for
being more intelligent, for developing your brain. You can be proud of your body if
you worked for it.

I think in order to properly be proud of something work must have been put forth.
Exertion and trial and error and tears. Pride is an emotion.

You should not be proud of the things you were handed, the things you were given.
Those things should humble you.
 
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Are you guys talking about pride in a 7 deadly sins sort of way, or in a respecting yourself sort of way? I'm getting the idea that it's the former. I think that in terms of being "proud" of who you are, the phrase is not meant to insinuate being arrogant about who you are.
 
Black Sheep said:
Are you guys talking about pride in a 7 deadly sins sort of way, or in a respecting yourself sort of way? I'm getting the idea that it's the former. I think that in terms of being "proud" of who you are, the phrase is not meant to insinuate being arrogant about who you are.
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Well, personally it's hard for me to tell a difference between the two without resorting to a concept that would be better expressed by simply using another word.
 
Black Sheep said:
Are you guys talking about pride in a 7 deadly sins sort of way, or in a respecting yourself sort of way? I'm getting the idea that it's the former. I think that in terms of being "proud" of who you are, the phrase is not meant to insinuate being arrogant about who you are.
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The latter also. Even being content/happy about who you are for no other reason than how you are you.

It can be about being proud of a mole on your face, or about being a bitch, or about being clumsy. Being proud of the things that make you distinctive and which identify you.
 
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niffer said:
But then it seems like people are just being proud for the sake of it if they are just inherently proud of themselves... does that make sense. Because the source of what makes them proud could be replaced with anything, any trait or characteristic. Which makes it meaningless and sort of an empty source of self-esteem. I am mainly talking about when people claim that they are proud to have (x characteristic or flaw) simply because it's part of them and not for any favorable reasons.
Click to expand...

Well 'many' in such cases may wish to cloak themselves in 'pride' in an effort of self denial (i.e. body dysmorphic disorders or 'assertiveness' that is really cold and hostile), making it a case of lexiconicalism when some confuse individualism (self reliance, self motivated, pride in their own capabilities at the risk of avoiding seeking help) with individuation (the process of exploring ones own sense of self and what makes them uniquely strong or weak, without needing to rely on group identity or validations so much).

True acceptance on the other hand does not need to incorporate pride or risk hubris, when one has time to self analyse and introspect to find out what drives them in life or influences their decision making (self awareness and being able to acknowledge mistakes or better ideas, while remaining true to their truest personality core).

This might make things more clearer: http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/PDF_files/C-120 Inner Conflict as a Path to Higher Development.PDF
 
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