Lately I've been trying to see it as less being wrong or right but that
Life is polarity
So for light there is dark
Our strengths cast a natural shadow that doesn't need to be fixed, simply observed and planned for
Leaning into my strengths and compensating for what is my weakness by doing so
It's really hard for me to not think about others, especially if there is a strong connection
I get consumed in that a lot
I'm happiest when I'm alone and completely absorbed in my own projects
But I learn the most, and grow the most, when I meet other people and let them be my experience of life instead of trying to work on anything in particular.
It's a hard balancing act.
I live by lagom though... Not too much, not too little. So I'm always trying to adjust the levers to see which is closer to just the right amount. It is tempting to try to grab for more than I need, or to not give myself enough of what I need, particularly fun. I struggle to have fun because sometimes I slip into doing nothing but having fun... Again... Hard for me to find sweet doors spots.
Self love that I am cultivating is to accept my feelings and validate them myself, it's okay for me to feel what I'm feeling even if I don't like it or it doesn't make sense. Not justifying myself; I have the right to exist I don't need to explain to others. Setting boundaries regularly to keep myself in track with my goals and not let my generous nature suck me dry. Taking time to make a decision instead of rushing because I feel obligated to decide as soon as possible for whatever reason. Declining to answer questions, not giving others what they want, I have the right to my privacy and I don't have to please everyone.
Knowing that the more authentic I am to myself, the easier it is to find likeminded people.
Knowing that i can trust myself, and sometimes I'll be wrong, but that's okay. You can't learn if you don't show up to class. So failing is part of the winning process... If you don't fail you're not pushing yourself to learn anything. You can't learn without trial and error. Accepting that.
In trusting myself, knowing that any circumstance I can live though and figure out. Any bad emotion will pass, as will good ones, as is the cycle of life. I don't have to worry because I'll figure things out. Celebrating the good I've done and deciding to focus on when things have worked out instead of when they haven't. If I do think of when things haven't worked out it's only as a learning experience, not to punish myself.
Practicing gratitude. Knowing that I have so much in my life and that in turn counters my want for more. As Mr. Rogers says... "Nobody can have everything." So we accept what we do have, and we actively strive to have everything we want, but we know we cannot. We know that it's essentially a losing game but that we know we'll gain SOME of what we want, so it's worth putting the work in anyway.
We must have vision to know the parth we're going, but the flexibility to see the value in detours and that which is unexpected.
It requires for me a complete shift in perspective... It's a lot of work to maintain.
I think that's the thing.
Most people don't spend time creating themselves. We have all of these inherited patterns, including generational traumas, and that's natural. But we also have the choice to decide to break those patterns and make ourselves what we want to be. Again realizing we will not achieve our complete ideal, but that our ideals push us towards a better life anyway.
Some decide to settle for as is... And that's part of appreciation what you do have. But I think it's fine to give hunger, it gives us the motivation to act and do, which is what you lack if you fully accept everything as is.
