Relationships with parents and Enneagram | INFJ Forum

Relationships with parents and Enneagram

Discussion in 'Enneagram' started by arbygil, Feb 20, 2011.

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  1. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    Very telling article. Shows how your E-type may have come about, based on your relationship with your parents. If you still have problems figuring out your Enneagram, this article may help you determine it (I was the Neutral child with the Active parents).

    Original link from Ptypes here.

    Does this match your relationship with your parents...? Only you can know for sure. ;)

     
  2. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    Responsive child with responsive parents - type 6 enneagram. Yep.
     
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  3. kucala

    kucala The Chameleon Sponge

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    My main question in regard to this, is what if your parents are different types?
     
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  4. Arsal

    Arsal Permanent Fixture

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    Neutral child vs. Responsive parent - Type 5.

    Huh. Spot on.
     
  5. Jill Hives

    Jill Hives fhtagn
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    According to this, it seems 9 or 5 makes the most sense for me. Neutral child vs Responsive parent or Neutral child vs Active parent. My father I believe was an active parent, mother would have been responsive.

    neutral child vs responsive parent - "Such children are genuine loners, who prefer and enjoy their solitude. They are introspective, insightful and love learning and discovering things on their own, usually rejecting any help or intervention from the outside. They are afraid of being intruded upon because their parents used to make a fuss over them and suffocate them with attention and demands for closeness."
    Absolutely yes.

    neutral child vs active parent
    - All of that applies to me.
     
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    arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    In this case the types of the parents don't apply to your type; it's how they raised you that can determine what your type is. In other words, if you had a parent who was type 9, they'd be a "neutral" type. If this is your main caregiver, then you'd have to determine if you are either a neutral, active, or responsive person to determine what your Enneagram might be.

    This is not set in stone, however; but your parents may have had an effect on your Enneagram type, because they raised you and provided your security (or insecurity),
     
  7. OP
    arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    I'd say, then, whichever parent has or had the biggest influence on you would be the one that influenced your enneagram type. If your father had the bigger influence, then active + you would be your enneagram type. If your mother did, then responsive + you would be your enneagram type.

    Assuming it works for you, that is.
     
  8. Gaze

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    Depends on the parent. I also think there is possible progression -one style may be dominant at an earlier age, and as a result, another type of relational style develops as a young adult or teen.
     
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    #8 Gaze, Feb 20, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2011
  9. kucala

    kucala The Chameleon Sponge

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    By type I meant active/responsive/neutral. Mostly for myself - My parents were seperated when I was very young, and had quite different parenting styles, but I spent equal time with both. So I'm not sure?
     
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  10. This

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    Well I just took the test and it turns out I'm an enneagram 3, makes sense I suppose.
     
  11. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    I think it fits.

    I wonder how wings played within this? Does wings implies another (second, related?) type of affection received?
     
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  12. Odyne

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    My parents had both the Active and Responsive approach. I was Active.
    Which resulted in an 8w7 enneargram child. :3
     
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  13. IndigoSensor

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    I had a VERY active parent, and a responsive parent. I was a responsive child. I came out as 1w2.
     
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  14. OP
    arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    *Nod.* I'd say the parent who influenced you the most is probably the most telling. You can be equally shuttled between two parents, but you probably have a parent who has influenced you the most, for good or for ill. You can have a horrible parent and a good parent, and you could live with your good parent for all your life...but if the horrible parent is the one who impacted you most, then your Enneagram would reflect their influence instead of the good parent's influence.

    We usually are products of our environment. I lived with my mother growing up and saw my father during the summers, but I'd say my mother was probably more Responsive and my father more Active...but he unconsciously influenced me more.
     
  15. aeon

    aeon Ooh, a bunny!
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    I am Type 9, and this was utterly brilliant. :thumb:


    cheers,
    Ian
     
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  16. ceri

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    Holy shit this works for both of my parents - i have traits of both 1 and 6 (for each parent), i was the Responsible child (with a bit of neutral later on)
     
  17. IndigoSensor

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    It makes a lot of sense for me as well. My enneagram tritype is 1-2-6 all three of which come from a responsive child, which is definitely me. My dad was a very very active parent (for refrence he is ESTJ). My parents divorced shortly before I turned 4 years old, so I would see my dad on the weekends and be with my mother during the week. My mother (an INFJ 9w8), was absolutely a responsive parent to me, and was extremely supportive of me. There were also times where my father would act like a neutral parent when he wasn't being active, and this was largely out of him being cold to me if he was punishing me or something.

    Yup, for me this all makes complete 100% sense. That being said, I don't want this to sound like I had terrible parents. Both of my parents in their own ways were fantastic to me.
     
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  18. not sure

    On Holiday

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    Type 5. It's unbelievable. Did they live in my house?
     
  19. Majesty

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    Type 6, 7 and 8 all fit but none of them is really spot on.
     
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  20. Phoenix Down

    Phoenix Down Permanent Fixture

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    My parents were evidently a lot harder on my older brother (kicked the shit out of him). Perhaps its a cultural thing. Not that they were total softies with me, but I would say my parents doted on me. My brother on the other had was determined I grow a spine though.
     
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