relationship compatibility with other types | INFJ Forum

relationship compatibility with other types

Quiet

Quiet

i know nothing
Dec 16, 2011
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relationship compatibility with other types

i know people are more complex than their mbti type, and any 2 healthy people can have a successful relationship.
i also think there is as much variation within a mbti type as there is between types

now that is out of the way....
which mbti type do you believe you are compatible with? Why?
Which mbti types have you had a successful relationship with? Why do you think this was? And what in your opinion is a successful relationship?

is there a mbti type that you believe you are more likely to be incompatible with? Why?
are there mbti types that you have had unsuccessful or unhealthy relationships with? Why? Was it more to do with individual factors or mbti preferences?

.....

if there is another thread about this topic can someone please link it? i trawled through 10 pages of this sub forum before i gave up and started a new thread
 
charlene said:
relationship compatibility with other types

i know people are more complex than their mbti type, and any 2 healthy people can have a successful relationship.
i also think there is as much variation within a mbti type as there is between types

now that is out of the way....
which mbti type do you believe you are compatible with? Why?
Which mbti types have you had a successful relationship with? Why do you think this was? And what in your opinion is a successful relationship?

is there a mbti type that you believe you are more likely to be incompatible with? Why?
are there mbti types that you have had unsuccessful or unhealthy relationships with? Why? Was it more to do with individual factors or mbti preferences?

.....

if there is another thread about this topic can someone please link it? i trawled through 10 pages of this sub forum before i gave up and started a new thread
Click to expand...

3 Great Loves:
1. ESTJ
2. INTJ
3. INTP

The ESTJ was a great love because he was really the first powerful love I'd ever had. At age 19 to 21 he was the Sun in my life. We met up again 34 years later and while I loved him intensely all over again I could see where being married to him for 30 years would not have worked. We were great as opposite compliments of each other and the sex was phenomenal....but I would have ended up wanting more of an emotional/mind intimate connection he just could not do. He was not "awake" nor aware of how he fit into the world. He was a corporate droid too. But still...I loved him. Beneath the robot exterior he had a beautiful heart. :love:

The INTJ and the INTP are magnificent minds and I admit I am highly attracted to that in any person I meet. I need wit and satire in my relationships and they seem to be able to dish it out for me to laugh and laugh. It is rare to find these days... On the other hand....they don't "do" emotions very well....and it's a struggle to find comfort with them at times when my emotions come bubbling up.

Still.. ... I wish I could come to know an INFJ man through and through one day before I leave this earthly plane. To me they might be a wonderful combination of keen intellect, wit, and fundamentally understand and allow the emotional aspect of being a human.
 
I wish i could give some all inclusive answer like: ''take each person as they come and if it works it works regardless of type'' but in reality i have seen some strong patterns not just from my own experiences but also from the testimonies of other people and also from attitudes i've seen certain types express

So with all that in mind i'd say that imo the types the INFJ should avoid romantic entaglements with are: INTJ's & ENTJ's

These types seem to act as energy vampires for INFJ's imo

They are drawn to INFJ's and will seek them out but when they find them they show them no love but instead seem to want to destroy the part of INFJ's that are different from them

If those types cannot appreciate INFJ's as they are they should leave them alone

I don't think it should fall to INFJ's to martyr themselves for the cynicism often expressed by those types

Save yourselves INFJ's, don't play the hero! Find people connected more to their heart and less to their 'rational' mind (actually they are irrational but that's another debate)
 
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Kgal said:
3 Great Loves:
1. ESTJ
2. INTJ
3. INTP

The ESTJ was a great love because he was really the first powerful love I'd ever had. At age 19 to 21 he was the Sun in my life. We met up again 34 years later and while I loved him intensely all over again I could see where being married to him for 30 years would not have worked. We were great as opposite compliments of each other and the sex was phenomenal....but I would have ended up wanting more of an emotional/mind intimate connection he just could not do. He was not "awake" nor aware of how he fit into the world. He was a corporate droid too. But still...I loved him. Beneath the robot exterior he had a beautiful heart. :love:

The INTJ and the INTP are magnificent minds and I admit I am highly attracted to that in any person I meet. I need wit and satire in my relationships and they seem to be able to dish it out for me to laugh and laugh. It is rare to find these days... On the other hand....they don't "do" emotions very well....and it's a struggle to find comfort with them at times when my emotions come bubbling up.

Still.. ... I wish I could come to know an INFJ man through and through one day before I leave this earthly plane. To me they might be a wonderful combination of keen intellect, wit, and fundamentally understand and allow the emotional aspect of being a human.
Click to expand...

i really relate to what you said about ESTJ, INTJ and INTP. Those are the types i think im most compatible with from my experience

Laughing and playfulness is so important to me

There is a mutual interest with an ESTJ now....and the compatibility seems amazing....an easy-ness and mutual appreciation and respect...work very well together....similar 'physical' goals....very helpful...practical and efficient in the way i like and relate to....but that emotional/mind intimate connection...i dont know if it could happen....it feels like a bridge that cant be crossed because of different language and basic programming....it makes me sad...but who knows?

I adore INTJs, there is also a lot of easy-ness and sincere enjoyment, very similar mindspace.....the best conversations...entertaining and intelligent, practical in a similar way....but i'm wary of the ruthlessness and lack of emotional connection

INTP....for some reason extremely attractive, a quirkyness and rejection of culture that i wholeheartedly appreciate, great conversations, great humour....but lack of true emotional connection

I wonder why i find it hard to have emotional connection. i do have this with my close friends. im rarely emotional and fairly stoic.....but there is some sort of connection i crave that i cant seem to find with people that i'm more compatible with. i wonder if its something that im doing...or not doing. I suppose it is a spiritual connection and understanding that i want.
 
So how many peoples relationships with INTJ's have lasted?

if you have not had a successful ongoing relationship with an INTJ then i think it is reckless to advise any younger INFJ's reading this that INTJ's are compatible romantically (if you have no lasting track record)

Just be honest with people

Unless you see relationships as something to collect...like hats

''oh yes i liked that hat for a while, it made my head look good, but after a while it became uncomfortable so i stopped wearing it and got myself another hat that i liked for a while until i got bored of it and discarded that too...but both those hats will be fun for a bit, so you too should try them on''
 
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muir said:
I wish i could give some all inclusive answer like: ''take each person as they come and if it works it works regardless of type'' but in reality i have seen some strong patterns not just from my own experiences but also from the testimonies of other people and also from attitudes i've seen certain types express

So with all that in mind i'd say that imo the types the INFJ should avoid romantic entaglements with are: INTJ's & ENTJ's

These types seem to act as energy vampires for INFJ's imo

They are drawn to INFJ's and will seek them out but when they find them they show them no love but instead seem to want to destroy the part of INFJ's that are different from them

If those types cannot appreciate INFJ's as they are they should leave them alone

I don't think it should fall to INFJ's to martyr themselves for the cynicism often expressed by those types

Save yourselves INFJ's, don't play the hero! Find people connected more to their heart and less to their 'rational' mind (actually they are irrational but that's another debate)
Click to expand...

i think i understand what you mean about the 'energy vampire-ness' with some of the intjs i've known...not all though
its not something i've found with entjs, but i dont think i would be compatible with an entj....even though i like the ones i know a great deal

but perhaps it is only when the person is unhealthy that they do this?

The only type i have felt wants to destroy the part in me that is different to them is estp
 
charlene said:
i think i understand what you mean about the 'energy vampire-ness' with some of the intjs i've known...not all though
its not something i've found with entjs, but i dont think i would be compatible with an entj....even though i like the ones i know a great deal

but perhaps it is only when the person is unhealthy that they do this?

The only type i have felt wants to destroy the part in me that is different to them is estp
Click to expand...

This forum is full of accounts of relationships going wrong with INTJ's

INTJ's and ENTJ's can be heard on this forum constantly arguing a more cynical line of argument

Also before replying to this post...go to the INTJ forum and hang out there for a while and see what you see

Please don't bother replying to this post until you have done that
 
ISTJ or ISxP

It's the only relationship I've had that has lasted longer than a month l0l
 
Switchgirl said:
ISTJ or ISxP

It's the only relationship I've had that has lasted longer than a month l0l
Click to expand...

which mbti type are you?....just for interests sake im curious
 
Switchgirl said:
ENFP or INFP :) not too sure yet!
Click to expand...


in socionics which i find interesting...which is different from mbti...and i dont really know too much about or agree with the parts i have read....enfp and istp are duals, but it seems (based on my ignorance and limited information) that the socionics istp is some sort of hybrid of mbti istp and istj
 
Long term relationship: enfp but he has changed to an entp and that is causing major issues in our relationship
Types most attracted to me personally: istj, entp, enfp, intj, isfj, intp
Type I have been most attracted to: enfj, enfp and recently infj but can't comment on relationship compatibility except to say that enfp works very well if the person is morally conscious and loyal
 
charlene said:
i really relate to what you said about ESTJ, INTJ and INTP. Those are the types i think im most compatible with from my experience

Laughing and playfulness is so important to me

There is a mutual interest with an ESTJ now....and the compatibility seems amazing....an easy-ness and mutual appreciation and respect...work very well together....similar 'physical' goals....very helpful...practical and efficient in the way i like and relate to....but that emotional/mind intimate connection...i dont know if it could happen....it feels like a bridge that cant be crossed because of different language and basic programming....it makes me sad...but who knows?

I adore INTJs, there is also a lot of easy-ness and sincere enjoyment, very similar mindspace.....the best conversations...entertaining and intelligent, practical in a similar way....but i'm wary of the ruthlessness and lack of emotional connection

INTP....for some reason extremely attractive, a quirkyness and rejection of culture that i wholeheartedly appreciate, great conversations, great humour....but lack of true emotional connection

I wonder why i find it hard to have emotional connection. i do have this with my close friends. im rarely emotional and fairly stoic.....but there is some sort of connection i crave that i cant seem to find with people that i'm more compatible with. i wonder if its something that im doing...or not doing. I suppose it is a spiritual connection and understanding that i want.
Click to expand...

The lack of emotional sharing is keenly felt in all of those relationship types.

I think if one found an INTx who had actually had an awakening experience - the relationship might be totally encompassing - emotions and all. But...I've not found one...so don't really know.

As for the ESTJ - I don't think they're capable of developing "that bridge" with you. I once read on a personality profile the INFJ provides emotional and spritual guidance for the ESTJ. Like I said...we compliment one another.

Yes. It's the spiritual connection and understanding we crave. We are singularly alone right now at this time on our planet. I think it's by design as we have much work to do and un-awake mates create a drag on the momentum building right now. Almost all of the lightworkers I know who are doing the emotional clearing work from the planet are single.

I am more centered in my core being-ness than ever in my life and the need for emotional sharing is not quite as driving for me as it used to be. I am learning to truly be alone.
Muir mentioned the INTx's are emotional vampires....and I admit I would essentially agree with that.

I wonder if the connection we crave is the fact we're subconsciously remembering what it WAS like when we were 5d entities.... I wonder if we intuitively know there is more...
 
charlene said:
in socionics which i find interesting...which is different from mbti...and i dont really know too much about or agree with the parts i have read....enfp and istp are duals, but it seems (based on my ignorance and limited information) that the socionics istp is some sort of hybrid of mbti istp and istj
Click to expand...

Yes! In a lot of ways.. Socionics goes a lot more in depth. I've yet to be in a relationship with an INxJ (which are the ideal types for ENFP in MBTI).. But I don't know if I could be compatible with an INTJ.. The socionics duals seems to be a lot more accurate. That's interesting that socionics ISTp is a hybrid of ISTP and ISTJ.. If that's so, that makes plenty of sense regarding my s/o.. As I've been thinking ISTp = MBTI ISTJ which has made it hard to type him.
 
I can vouch for the estp wanting to destroy the part of the INFJ which is different to them, that is my personal experience. He wanted to 'fix' me because he believed that he knew me better than I knew myself and that he could teach me to be a better person. It was infuriating.

I don't know if this will lead to anything serious although it could but I met an ESFP, a very mature and a very smart one, who is the first person that I was ever able to open up with and share deep feelings and thoughts that I have never been able to share with anybody else. I was lucky to get to meet him one on one because if I had met him in a group of people then there is no way that I would have given him a second thought because he is so extroverted and loud and overly friendly that he would have totally scared me away. However, in a one on one situation, he is a totally different person, very caring and attentive, very wise and completely non-judgemental. The combination of the warmth and obvious caring and the non-judgement to me is comforting. Because my mother was an ESFP and her death 10 years ago has left a deep yearning for the warmth and love that she had for me I wonder sometimes if that is what drew me to this person.
 
Kgal said:
I wonder if the connection we crave is the fact we're subconsciously remembering what it WAS like when we were 5d entities.... I wonder if we intuitively know there is more...
Click to expand...

It's a memory of the perfect universe before the distortion; it's still there though beyond the matrix
 
Echo the comments of those who said they like INTPs/INTJs but find emotional connection and compatibility difficult in these relationships. I'm supposed to be INFP, so from what I understand, it's not a good match with TJs or TPs for this reason. Emotional support, not caudling (as some would call it :D) is important at least for NFPs. When someone ignores or dismisses the importance of satisfying this part of yourself, it feels as if they're ignoring an entire aspect of your personality. This means they're not valuing the whole person, just the parts they feel are valid or important, which is problematic. I am not sure I would want an FJ. I'd prefer someone with different modes of thinking or being than me because I think it allows us to learn from each other if we are mature enough to appreciate each other's differences. I wouldn't want to date someone like me. I want someone whose strengths compliment my weaknesses, and vice versa.
 
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pics said:
Echo the comments of those who said they like INTPs/INTJs but find emotional connection and compatibility difficult in these relationships. I'm supposed to be INFP, so from what I understand, it's not a good match with TJs or TPs for this reason. Emotional support, not caudling (as some would call it :D) is important at least for NFPs. When someone ignores or dismisses the importance of satisfying this part of yourself, it feels as if they're ignoring an entire aspect of your personality. This means they're not valuing the whole person, just the parts they feel are valid or important, which is problematic. I am not sure I would want an FJ. I'd prefer someone with different modes of thinking or being than me because I think it allows us to learn from each other if we are mature enough to appreciate each other's differences. I wouldn't want to date someone like me.

I want someone whose strengths compliment my weaknesses, and vice versa.
Click to expand...

Wise words.
 
....bah.
I wonder if infj's have ever considered there is such a thing as too much emotion and have made effort in that regard to gain more control over them?

In relation to the original post though I have no clue what types I am more attracted to as I have never asked anyone to take a test to find out how they test if I think there is attraction there.

I am attracted to those women who have a mind of their own, have an open mind, can think for themselves and when necessary can think past any initial emotional chains that may come into play for them. However they still posses "warmth" or what I like to call a realistic heart.

Any idea what type that may fit into?
 
Eventhorizon said:
....bah.
I wonder if infj's have ever considered there is such a thing as too much emotion and have made effort in that regard to gain more control over them?

In relation to the original post though I have no clue what types I am more attracted to as I have never asked anyone to take a test to find out how they test if I think there is attraction there.

I am attracted to those women who have a mind of their own, have an open mind, can think for themselves and when necessary can think past any initial emotional chains that may come into play for them. However they still posses "warmth" or what I like to call a realistic heart.

Any idea what type that may fit into?
Click to expand...

Instead of saying that INFJ's are faulty and need to be changed why don't you just leave them alone and go for another type?

You are an INTJ on an INFJ forum; of all the places on the wide internet you have chosen this little corner set up to cater for the least common type

If they are not to your tastes then take your tastes elsewhere

If INFJ's are too emotional then quit your whining and go to the INTJ forum

Find yourself a nice INTJ to not cuddle up with
 
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