Really low and could use some help :( | INFJ Forum

Really low and could use some help :(

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Anisha, Jan 12, 2018.

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  1. Anisha

    Anisha Regular Poster

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    Does it ever feel like you feel emotions way deeper than other people? And like that starts impacting you in the wrong way. When I love someone, i would go to any corner of the world for them. I find myself constantly doing things for other people - for my boyfriend, for my friends. I'm always there to support them and to hear them out. But it really hurts me when there's no one there for me. And when it comes to love, I feel like an idiot for loving too hard. I put in way more effort in my relationship than my boyfriends does. And sometimes it feels like I'm too much. I don't think he'll ever have feelings of the same intensity for me. That makes me really sad.
    I've spoken to him about it and he says it's unfair to expect him to love me back the same way because different people love differently. But sometimes I feel like it's just not there. I feel like an idiot who constantly lays her heart out for someone who will never love her back the same way.
    Does it happen to anyone else? I'm just trying to understand if it's my fault for wanting too much, or if it's normal to be this way and he's just being an ass.
     
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  2. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    yes, absolutely. I think anyone can relate to this but it is something that most NF's in general feel.
    You should never feel like an idiot for loving too much or for caring too much. There is no such thing as loving too much! The problem is, which many INFP's and INFJ's feel is that we often put the needs of others before our own. You need to love yourself as much as you do everyone else and DO for yourself what you for others. YOU MATTER TOO!
    I get this, totally. For some people it's not that they don't have the same intensity of feeling as you do, it's more like they don't have the same need to show it, or even the ability to show it. In that way, we're all different.
    The only thing I would fault you for is not giving yourself the same love and attention that you give to him. Start putting your needs in priority too, and communicate them to your partner. "I need you to show me more, and in return I'll try to expect less as well." In other words, try not to expect from your partner what you give, it doesn't always work like that. Instead try to compromise more and at the same time you're asking for more understanding from your partner, realize you must also try to understand them better as well.
     
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    Anisha

    Anisha Regular Poster

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    Thank you so much. I feel much better. You've really been a great help. I completely understand what you mean. Thank you for your response!
     
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  4. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    You're welcome, I'm glad it helped in some small way. Take care and be kinder to yourself. <3
     
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