Reacting to people dating | INFJ Forum

Reacting to people dating

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by slant, Sep 28, 2010.

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  1. slant

    slant M O U L T I N G
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    Recently, a good friend of mine entered a romance with a female he decided to date. Normally when a friend of mine will date, I am annoyed by the people they date. I will not like the people they are dating and try to get them to break up with them, generally due to the fact I view the individual they are dating akin to a douchebag, either they are neo-nazi people or they have hatred for people of color.

    But now a male friend of mine begun to date and I actually approve. I think that before-mentioned female may turn out to be a well enough match for him, and I am actually relieved that he decided to date, though my relief I do not know the center of.

    I am wondering how other people may react to people they know who are dating. I tend to be weird about actually talking about people dating, and I do not like people to mouth tango in front of me or talk about it
     
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  2. Fallen_Adalia

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    I am protective of my friends and family... i take my roll as big sister pretty seriously. I can spot jerks from a mile away, as i'm an ESTP and i'm good at figuring out motives and what people want from a situation. Anyway I dont mind PDAs much as long as its some what tame and the person my sibling/friend is dating isnt a d-bag.

    now as for me dating, I'm actually really bad at keeping my hands of my SO. I have grown a bit tame over time, but then I was younger I really didnt give a damn lol ... good times :)
    now i hold back and make great effort to save all that pent up energy for when I dont think others are looking lol

    Holding back seems to have its benifits as the person i would make out with or whatever sees my frustration and desides its fun to tease, it makes her laugh... I love her laugh more then anything in the world.

    Now maybe its me but i could never imagine dating my friends, they are too close to me like siblings or kids i have to look out for. It would be like han solo dating luke skywalker, and that my friend is SO wrong.
     
  3. Matariki

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    For me it depends on the person that my siblings or friends are dating. I have a strong protective streak in me and will not tolerate any form of neglect, neither physically or emotionally.
    I am happy for my siblings and friends when they are in a healthy relationship with their partner. Out of respect I do not get involved in their relationships unless I can sense something that is drastically wrong.

    As for myself, it happens when it happens, but I'm not going to go around like some mad woman looking for it.
    I prefer to keep my distance when It comes to people, If I were to date anyone it would have to be someone that I had established a very close friendship with and that we could trust each other wholeheartedly. I intend to spend my life with one person, so I can be as picky as I want about it.
     
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    #3 Matariki, Sep 28, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2010
  4. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    I learned to stay out of other's love lives. My sister was married to a real prize of a guy that I absolutely hated with a passion but I supported her because she loved him and I love her. It is was very difficult but I feel that her happiness is what is important and I didn't have to sleep with or live with the guy, she did. My other sister is enamored with bad boys and has a penchant for drug addicts without jobs. Same deal here. It isn't my place to force my idea of a good man down their throats because such actions usually make someone cling harder to a destructive relationship. Until you live with choices you make you don't see clearly. It is a hard place to be. You worry about their well being but realilze they have to live their own lives. No easy answers.
     
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  5. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    wow wow great post and i couldn't agree more, both my sisters are attracted to the unavailable/bad boy image too and after beating my head against a wall for a few years i pretty much settled on the exact same conclusion. if they ask me how i feel, i'l give my opinion but beyond that its not my place. i just make friendly conversation with these guys and keep it casual. my mom on the other hand... well i don't think she's come to the same realization lol.

    as far as friends go i usually enjoy it when they are dating someone new bc it usually involves friendly get togethers on both sides, good chance to meet new people in a comfortable environment. it can have benefits also as i just got back from practice with a quarter of a cherry pie and oreo brownies i didn't have when i went there. one of my friends gf is a great cook and wants to keep good with her hubbies social ties, ah the sweet taste of bribery is one that's beginning to grow on me.
     
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