Reacting to people dating | INFJ Forum

Reacting to people dating

slant

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Dec 30, 2008
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Recently, a good friend of mine entered a romance with a female he decided to date. Normally when a friend of mine will date, I am annoyed by the people they date. I will not like the people they are dating and try to get them to break up with them, generally due to the fact I view the individual they are dating akin to a douchebag, either they are neo-nazi people or they have hatred for people of color.

But now a male friend of mine begun to date and I actually approve. I think that before-mentioned female may turn out to be a well enough match for him, and I am actually relieved that he decided to date, though my relief I do not know the center of.

I am wondering how other people may react to people they know who are dating. I tend to be weird about actually talking about people dating, and I do not like people to mouth tango in front of me or talk about it
 
I am protective of my friends and family... i take my roll as big sister pretty seriously. I can spot jerks from a mile away, as i'm an ESTP and i'm good at figuring out motives and what people want from a situation. Anyway I dont mind PDAs much as long as its some what tame and the person my sibling/friend is dating isnt a d-bag.

now as for me dating, I'm actually really bad at keeping my hands of my SO. I have grown a bit tame over time, but then I was younger I really didnt give a damn lol ... good times :)
now i hold back and make great effort to save all that pent up energy for when I dont think others are looking lol

Holding back seems to have its benifits as the person i would make out with or whatever sees my frustration and desides its fun to tease, it makes her laugh... I love her laugh more then anything in the world.

Now maybe its me but i could never imagine dating my friends, they are too close to me like siblings or kids i have to look out for. It would be like han solo dating luke skywalker, and that my friend is SO wrong.
 
For me it depends on the person that my siblings or friends are dating. I have a strong protective streak in me and will not tolerate any form of neglect, neither physically or emotionally.
I am happy for my siblings and friends when they are in a healthy relationship with their partner. Out of respect I do not get involved in their relationships unless I can sense something that is drastically wrong.

As for myself, it happens when it happens, but I'm not going to go around like some mad woman looking for it.
I prefer to keep my distance when It comes to people, If I were to date anyone it would have to be someone that I had established a very close friendship with and that we could trust each other wholeheartedly. I intend to spend my life with one person, so I can be as picky as I want about it.
 
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I learned to stay out of other's love lives. My sister was married to a real prize of a guy that I absolutely hated with a passion but I supported her because she loved him and I love her. It is was very difficult but I feel that her happiness is what is important and I didn't have to sleep with or live with the guy, she did. My other sister is enamored with bad boys and has a penchant for drug addicts without jobs. Same deal here. It isn't my place to force my idea of a good man down their throats because such actions usually make someone cling harder to a destructive relationship. Until you live with choices you make you don't see clearly. It is a hard place to be. You worry about their well being but realilze they have to live their own lives. No easy answers.
 
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I learned to stay out of other's love lives. My sister was married to a real prize of a guy that I absolutely hated with a passion but I supported her because she loved him and I love her. It is was very difficult but I feel that her happiness is what is important and I didn't have to sleep with or live with the guy, she did. My other sister is enamored with bad boys and has a penchant for drug addicts without jobs. Same deal here. It isn't my place to force my idea of a good man down their throats because such actions usually make someone cling harder to a destructive relationship. Until you live with choices you make you don't see clearly. It is a hard place to be. You worry about their well being but realilze they have to live their own lives. No easy answers

wow wow great post and i couldn't agree more, both my sisters are attracted to the unavailable/bad boy image too and after beating my head against a wall for a few years i pretty much settled on the exact same conclusion. if they ask me how i feel, i'l give my opinion but beyond that its not my place. i just make friendly conversation with these guys and keep it casual. my mom on the other hand... well i don't think she's come to the same realization lol.

as far as friends go i usually enjoy it when they are dating someone new bc it usually involves friendly get togethers on both sides, good chance to meet new people in a comfortable environment. it can have benefits also as i just got back from practice with a quarter of a cherry pie and oreo brownies i didn't have when i went there. one of my friends gf is a great cook and wants to keep good with her hubbies social ties, ah the sweet taste of bribery is one that's beginning to grow on me.