As a Priest (and one who believes priests should be married and is married, and having a wonderful relationship with my wife and family), I have spent my life in absolute dedication toward one, primary goal: That one, primary goal, is serving the Creator, my family, and others. Pememily, you might wonder what does this have to do with what you asked? Well, I've had to learn discipline, lots and lots of discipline. I spent years removed from society, in isolation. I still, intentionally, isolate myself as much as my wife and kids will allow me. That said, here is what I suggest:
1. Wake early--this is very good for the soul. It resets everything, and allows us to get a head-start on each day, hours before anyone else wakes-up; and so, because I am awake hours before most all others wake, I don't have that anxious-energy that so many people have when they wake. Many people wake to nervous energy because they really needed time to themselves, but feel like they jumped into a lake of icy-water because they didn't get centred in silence first. I centre before doing ANYTHING else. I sit in silence and offer gratitude in my heart--both before retiring at night and when I rise in the morning. I joyfully imagine calmness in my heart, courage in my heart, hope in my heart, and a need to serve the Creator and others with boldness. I usually wake around 4 in the morning.
2. Next, I go take a long morning stroll. I get my blood pumping. This way, when I return home, my body is fully awake and blood flows freely in me. I also love Tai Chi.
3. Upon returning home, I pray. Prayer when the blood is really pumping through the body is so much more effective! Often, because I am a man of few words, I write my prayers in a prayer journal, and then, I read them aloud if I feel so inclined. I do my best to pray without hidden motive. I seek to unite my thoughts and heart as one--for when the mind and heart are one, that is the power of creation.
4. I practice detachment. I love my loved ones while they are with me (and when they pass-on), but I strive to feel no loss in their absence. Sometimes this has worked for me, other times, it has been a struggle--but I have been getting better at it. When my father passed I didn't shed a tear. I loved him and I still do. I think on how wonderful it is that he is home again and I look forward to seeing him again!
5. To learn to focus my thoughts, one of the things that has helped me through the years has been the following: I placed a number of objects that I enjoy in front of me on the floor. And while sitting comfortably alone on the floor and in silence, I would focus all my attention on just one object. I would ignore the other objects. I would focus on the size, shape, texture, colour,etc of that object. Eventually, I became skilled in ignoring all other thoughts and could focus exclusively on the object in-question without distraction. Next, I took this type of meditation to the next level: I started breathing in and out very slowly, observing my breath as if it were an object and the only object of my focus. I would breath in very slowly, observing to feel my breathe and have all my thoughts focus on my breathe only. I then would exhale with the same intense focus. Once I mastered this form of meditation, I then sought to apply that focus in my communications with people--and guess what--it works with people too! I discovered I could stay focused on them, and that I could be patient. And when we listen without any ambition or motivation, we find we have truly become great listeners. It is one thing to listen with one's ears, it's another thing to listen with one's attentions. If your mind is focused and your ears hear him, then you are really listening to him. Your boyfriend deserves to have you gift him with your full-attention--and that my friend, is truly what it means to gift someone with your presence.
6. Second to my daily scripture studies and my efforts to apply them, comes my love of Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations." I noticed another member of this group also loves Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius was said to be the 'last good emperor of Rome,' and I think that's a great way to put it. The Holy Scriptures backed-up with the book "Meditations" has given me wonderful peace in my life. I consider myself a Messiah-following Stoic.
7. If you choose to follow the above advice, be sure to do so on an empty stomach. When we eat food, blood comes down from the head to the stomach to aid in digestion. And when some blood leaves the head and goes down towards our stomachs, our focus is decreased, and our clarity with it. Eating is a "sensing" activity, and while we should eat, as long as you're not starving or distracted by a growling stomach, then, to do all the above suggested things on an empty stomach yields some of the best results one can get.
8. Remember, ONLY do what inspires you--and this includes careers too. Money is not the goal, do only what inspires you. And when we are inspired, we are motivated. And when we are motivated, we are disciplined. And when we are disciplined we can achieve our greatest and most wonderful dreams!
9. Lastly, and most importantly, ask God to help you to make all your honourable goals a reality for you! :-D
~Bas
sovereign[dot]bas[at]gmail[dot]com