Question to very introverted people | INFJ Forum

Question to very introverted people

Majesty

Majesty

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Aug 17, 2010
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i HATE asking questions deeper than do you like broccoli or telling my life on the internet, it's on the top of my top hate list, but here is pretty much the only way i can get an answer, so I'll keep it very general:

how do you like to be approached?
 
A smile and something witty always seem to catch my attention. I like one on one contact instead of a group setting. I get too distracted and don't pay enough attention to one person if I am in a group setting. I also like clever emails, texts and notes...what? It's not high school...it's sweet and thoughtful. :)
 
Any way really. Well...none of the obvious things like a punch to the eye or getting all up in my personal bubble before you've even introduced yourself.

I find most people interesting, I'll respond well to most things until I've seen enough to determine if you are a douche or not. This varies from person to person.
 
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eye contact, slowly and quietly. Pretend we're sleeping baby deers and you don't want to scare us off. Introduce yourself, speak quietly and calmly, and tell me why you're talking to me
 
I like to be approached carefully with both hands and a lot of heart.


Please do not ask me personal questions immediately unless I have
asked you some first. Casual running into each other is best for
me with light conversation until we both reach a level of comfort
and feel okay being more personable. It takes a lot out of me to
get to know someone and be close with them. It takes me a long
time typically because I need time to reflect and I like it when
people are direct, not cryptic. I do not want to deal with cryptic
bullshit. That will just frustrate me, I hate mind games. If you
don't feel comfortable answering something or do not understand
just say that. If I'm not comfortable with something, do not press me.
 
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Define "Introverted."

I assume you mean either shy or reserved, I guess I could kind of fall into the reserved camp depending on the situation. I think the best way to approach me would just be to approach and find something to comment on and ease into the conversation, however don't approach me if I look like I'm busy doing something. XD
 
As someone that is super introverted:

Just be friendly and easygoing. If you act nervous, generally it'll make me really uncomfortable around you and I'll be suspicious of you. If its someone you see everyday, maybe warm them up to you by throwing out a compliment and then leaving. Like 'I like your shoes.' Then smile and keep walking. I like this a lot, because it makes interacting with someone in the future a lot easier and makes me feel like it will be easy to end a conversation if I start feeling weird.

I really like getting written communication! That way I can process what you're saying without feeling rushed and can take my time replying without feeling like someone is analyzing everything I'm doing. I'm also way less likely to say no to suggestions of hanging out. This also applies to texts, IM, Facebook, email, etc. Also, if you're suggesting something like going out, try to set an end time (say you have to be somewhere or whatever) so that we aren't overwhelmed and don't get tired of being around people and act funny/bail.

Another great way to start a conversation with me at least is to ask questions that provoke my opinion. Like asking what I think about something another person did (or why they did it) will get a lot of words out of me. If its a topic I know anything about it will really light me up. Sharing personal information (but not TMI's) is a great way to get me to open up about my own, too. Hope that helps.
 
"Hello." should do the trick. Make sure I'm not immediately focused on something or someone else at the time.
 
Be sincere in what you have to say to me. Please don't talk about the weather, but if that is what you are into then...

Also please be up front with what you want to ask/say.

I am with Bird on not asking too many personal questions unless I have asked you some first.

And please don't sneak up on me/appear out of nowhere in front of me
 
I like eye contact and a smile before you introduce yourself. Don't appear out of nowhere and startle me!
I prefer one-on-one contact as opposed to groups. Usually in a group i'll be in the corner or something unless I'm comfortable, so feel free to come talk to me then. I'm generally open to conversation if I'm not overwhelmed.
Also, I like quiet voices unless I've already gotten to know you.
I appreciate someone telling me why they're talking to me, because if I'm not given a reason - and even then, sometimes - I can be very suspicious. And I will pick up on things...so if you're acting nervous or awkward, so will I. That doesn't lead to very good conversation.
The best way to get to know me is through text. So online chat, that sort of thing. I greatly prefer it. Writing in-person with me also works - particularly if my SM is acting up and I'm not talking.
 
If I figure that out, I'll let you know. Most people say I'm impossible to approach (after they've toughed it out and gotten to know me against my will). It obviously isn't easy.
 
Please talk to me not at me!
 
Just message me and say hi, and show an actual interest in getting to know me. Bout it. I enjoy conversations that flow fairly effortlessly.
 
I dislike strangers approaching me for the most part, unless it's online. That doesn't mean I won't talk to them, but for the most part I am very dismissive of overly chatty people who I don't know. I don't even really like it when someone I have met a few times approaches me on the train or something and I feel forced to talk to them and can't run away and listen to my music.

I like doing the approaching if I have to or want to. I don't like it when I am approached.. if people do though, I prefer that they speak to me first and absolutely not touch me.

if they touch me it's a sure sign that I'm going to be very shitty with them and not be nice to them because I feel that my space is being invaded.
 
Is this just about approaching introverts on the net, or irl?

On the net: It's your dime, start talkin' bub.

IRL: More complicated. I don't mind a little chat, but when it's out of the blue with someone idk, it takes a lot out of me to keep a conversation going. If we have some small thing in common, such as being/working at such-and-such place, then make your opinions known while maybe asking my opinion about something. You don't have to agree or anything, and it doesn't have to be anything super deep and/or profound, but it's encouraging to me and helps me to open up when I get the idea that someone will share their opinion while also wanting to know what I think.
 
Royal said:
i HATE asking questions deeper than do you like broccoli or telling my life on the internet, it's on the top of my top hate list, but here is pretty much the only way i can get an answer, so I'll keep it very general:

how do you like to be approached?
Click to expand...

A friendly approach will get you a friendly reply.:m027:
 
I tend to like people who take the initiative. I enjoy talking to sincere people and really quite enjoy socializing, when it seems natural. The main problem is, I suck at keeping a conversation going. I'll respond to questions, and I'll listen to people talk, but I'm not good at chatting or coming up with things to talk about without it seeming forced. I feel obligated to fill the silence, especially if there's any sort of awkwardness, since I don't want the other person to feel uncomfortable.

I like talking with thoughtful extroverts. While I'm not a fan of meaningless chatter, I like listening to people talk or debating over an interesting subject, so it's nice to find someone who can be warm and engaging without being demanding.
 
Ask for my help with something.
 
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