Privilege in Office, and How to Handle It

[Trifoilum]

So, for the last few months I've been working in my father's office. Suffice to say, I'm in a very privileged position socially (even when in actuality I'm just....the moneyholder, so to speak).

I noticed that it's a very different metaphorical place, compared to when I managed the family store.

At this point I'm confused about.... uh, boundaries, roles, obligations, etc. Because my privilege, status, and the fact that my father has zero concept of work-life balance or office-home boundaries AT ALL.
simply put:

1) If my father complained about an employee, or talking about..well, plans. What should I do? Should I tell the employee in question? Should I do anything AT ALL?
Considering the fact that unless I majorly fucked up or when I decide to quit, I have permanent job security, I feel..guilty and somewhat evil if I said nothing.
But at the same time, I don't know whether if that's......ethical to do.

2) At the same time, if there's a social problem in the office-- not exactly job affecting, but performance affecting, what should I do?
Whether simple bickering, clashes between employees, or worse..... Should I do anything? Report it to my father?
Again, my place here DEFINITELY elevates my voice above of other employees, something that I should use for good but.....
what is 'good' here? Is it office harmony? Or effectiveness/efficiency? Or personal employee's happiness and/or well-being?

I'm really afraid of doing anything and/or rocking the waters here.
Part of it is for my own conscience, I realized, so I cannot pretend I'm being altruistic or honorable. And I'm afraid that in doing this, with my power, I will wreck things up. And here things mean other people's living.
Another part is definitely the need to be accepted or at least not ostracized. I feel like if I do anything it will affect the employees negatively. And given my position I'm.....not sure they have a lot of respect and/or esteem to begin with. I could care less, but it's nice not to be ostracized, you know? :|
And another part is I feel really bad of letting things happen-- when I know I have power and/or privilege.

But is it something I should tamper with?

Or is it just me trying to calm my conscience/ abuse my privilege / be a horrible person?

 

[Kgal]

So, for the last few months I've been working in my father's office. Suffice to say, I'm in a very privileged position socially (even when in actuality I'm just....the moneyholder, so to speak).

I noticed that it's a very different metaphorical place, compared to when I managed the family store.

At this point I'm confused about.... uh, boundaries, roles, obligations, etc. Because my privilege, status, and the fact that my father has zero concept of work-life balance or office-home boundaries AT ALL.
simply put:

1) If my father complained about an employee, or talking about..well, plans. What should I do? Should I tell the employee in question? Should I do anything AT ALL?
Considering the fact that unless I majorly fucked up or when I decide to quit, I have permanent job security, I feel..guilty and somewhat evil if I said nothing.
But at the same time, I don't know whether if that's......ethical to do.

2) At the same time, if there's a social problem in the office-- not exactly job affecting, but performance affecting, what should I do?
Whether simple bickering, clashes between employees, or worse..... Should I do anything? Report it to my father?
Again, my place here DEFINITELY elevates my voice above of other employees, something that I should use for good but.....
what is 'good' here? Is it office harmony? Or effectiveness/efficiency? Or personal employee's happiness and/or well-being?

I'm really afraid of doing anything and/or rocking the waters here.
Part of it is for my own conscience, I realized, so I cannot pretend I'm being altruistic or honorable. And I'm afraid that in doing this, with my power, I will wreck things up. And here things mean other people's living.
Another part is definitely the need to be accepted or at least not ostracized. I feel like if I do anything it will affect the employees negatively. And given my position I'm.....not sure they have a lot of respect and/or esteem to begin with. I could care less, but it's nice not to be ostracized, you know? :|
And another part is I feel really bad of letting things happen-- when I know I have power and/or privilege.

But is it something I should tamper with?

Or is it just me trying to calm my conscience/ abuse my privilege / be a horrible person?

I think it's excellent you are aware of the potential power you hold over others in the workplace and are concerned for their well being.

It seems to me what you're talking about is confidentiality.... holding the confidence of the employees AND holding the confidence of your father. You see they are observing you too...and like you said you are wanting harmony all around you for many reasons.

If you hear your father speaking about an employee - your father won't trust you if you go tell that employee and then they tell others and it goes around the office. Right?

If you hear employees talking shit about your father or others....and you go tell your father and there are repercussions....the employees will never tell you another thing and you will miss numerous opportunities to optimize the functioning of the business.

For now...I would suggest you start viewing the office as being part of a Team of equals. Keep in mind people are responsible for their own actions....with the awareness and level of understanding they have at the time. For example: if an employee is well trained and guided in their duties...and still continuously messes up....then this impairs optimal functioning of the office....and the Team....which includes you. It is your responsibility to the Team to address the issue....yes?

Okay... on the other hand....say there is an employee and they are doing an exemplary job...but for some unknown reason your father decides to get rid of them. You realize it would be to their benefit to know ahead of time because they are planning to make a large purchase thinking they have a job. ....This...is probably where I'd step in and warn them....at the risk of Father finding out. Like you said your job is pretty secure no matter how much you fuck it up...so there's not much to lose...except the trust between you and your father.

You and your father will always have a relationship and a chance to mend any arguments or misunderstandings in due time. On the other hand...the employee's existence is threatened (at least monetarily) and the loss of job could be devastating on them.

Another thought: In the usual social hierarchy of office settings - the Boss's Son - is rarely fully accepted within the group - unless he is a Team player. In my experience even then - there is a certain amount of 'distance' between him and the other employees.... Yet they can still inspire the employees.

Also - it's to the employees own benefit for them to work as a team to keep the business healthy and thrive. Perhaps you could act in a position to foster that idea if it does not exist within the office - or continue to inform the employees when the business is doing well ..and then engage their opinions when the business is not.

It's wonderful to see you handling this position with such wisdom Tri.

 

[the]

You should take whatever action is necessary to make your father more money. It's probably gonna be a case by case basis.

 

[Trifoilum]

[MENTION=2578]Kgal[/MENTION] : Thank you *hugs*

I won't say I'm handling any of these with wisdom, tbh.
But I definitely appreciate yours. And you said a lot of things I missed too >_<. Like the confidentiality-- or how they might act if I ever say something.

I don't exactly look for total acceptance-- like, I'm afraid of people taking advantage of my father via me and/or trying to get to my good graces for their job security (despite of their performance), but I also don't want to be the type of person that made people silent when they enter the room, if you get what I mean?
But situations like these still made me confused (had it before in one way or another along these months).
[MENTION=731]the[/MENTION] : ..I wish I can do that. I feel like my conscience is rioting when I took that option.

(...and probably I'm scared to experience the consequences. Like, what happened if there's people being angry with me in the office. Cowardly, I know.)

 

[Kgal]

@Kgal : Thank you *hugs*

I won't say I'm handling any of these with wisdom, tbh.
But I definitely appreciate yours. And you said a lot of things I missed too >_<. Like the confidentiality-- or how they might act if I ever say something.

I don't exactly look for total acceptance-- like, I'm afraid of people taking advantage of my father via me and/or trying to get to my good graces for their job security (despite of their performance), but I also don't want to be the type of person that made people silent when they enter the room, if you get what I mean?
But situations like these still made me confused (had it before in one way or another along these months).
@the : ..I wish I can do that. I feel like my conscience is rioting when I took that option.

(...and probably I'm scared to experience the consequences. Like, what happened if there's people being angry with me in the office. Cowardly, I know.)

Not cowardly at all....just a function of our type. We are designed to encourage harmony and cooperation amongst one another. Please don't diminish your natural abilities.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Interesting. I cant say I have ever been in a similar situation.
Part of what you do I think depends on how much you actually care about what you do. Meaning, do you care about things running the best they can or do you just want to do the best at your job and go home in the evening.

If I were working at a job I loved and believed in, I would want to correct potential conflicts as quickly as possible. Lazy employee? Shape up or ship out yesterday. Disturbance in productivity? Correct it. However if its just a job... I wouldnt do anything. People are people. I might discuss it with your father if it were something that was having a serious effect on the business but other than that...I would just ignore it.

 

[sprinkles]

Follow the chain of command. I've seen things get screwed up when someone goes over someone else's head.

For example, if your father is planning to deal with an employee, he knows how he wants to do it. Doing something without his permission there might mess up whatever plan he has. He might want to watch them first, or break it to them in a certain way, and you might take that away from him if you interfere.

If it's not your job to intervene then you probably shouldn't, unless something or somebody is at serious risk.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Act professionally: Ie. Fulfill your assigned duties as well and reasonably as is expected by your employer; and keep your feelings/moods/etc. out of the office.

Issues of privilege and security should be irrelevant if you are acting responsibly. This includes not wading into areas that are not your responsibility.


If you start acting as a liaison between the employer (your father) and any employee, every employee would end up expecting unusual assistance: you will end up the meat in a sandwich, which involves issues of money and employment. (A very undesirable situation).

 

[Trifoilum]

Interesting. I cant say I have ever been in a similar situation.
Part of what you do I think depends on how much you actually care about what you do. Meaning, do you care about things running the best they can or do you just want to do the best at your job and go home in the evening.

If I were working at a job I loved and believed in, I would want to correct potential conflicts as quickly as possible. Lazy employee? Shape up or ship out yesterday. Disturbance in productivity? Correct it. However if its just a job... I wouldnt do anything. People are people. I might discuss it with your father if it were something that was having a serious effect on the business but other than that...I would just ignore it.

Hmmm. So in other words, how good I want the workplace to be also affects what I should do--

THAT ACTUALLY MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

I don't know, actually. Do I care.....and as what?

Follow the chain of command. I've seen things get screwed up when someone goes over someone else's head.

For example, if your father is planning to deal with an employee, he knows how he wants to do it. Doing something without his permission there might mess up whatever plan he has. He might want to watch them first, or break it to them in a certain way, and you might take that away from him if you interfere.

If it's not your job to intervene then you probably shouldn't, unless something or somebody is at serious risk.

Good point. :| There's also that possibility that whatever bad things that will happen will be hastened.

Act professionally: Ie. Fulfill your assigned duties as well and reasonably as is expected by your employer; and keep your feelings/moods/etc. out of the office.

Issues of privilege and security should be irrelevant if you are acting responsibly. This includes not wading into areas that are not your responsibility.


If you start acting as a liaison between the employer (your father) and any employee, every employee would end up expecting unusual assistance: you will end up the meat in a sandwich, which involves issues of money and employment. (A very undesirable situation).

I think what I'm confused with is....what is the responsibility? And...well, how far? :|
And yes, for the last; that is what I'm afraid of.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

I think what I'm confused with is....what is the responsibility? And...well, how far? :|
And yes, for the last; that is what I'm afraid of.

Responsibility?
In your job, what are you being paid to do?
Those things are your responsibility during working hours.

There are other responsibilities one has from simply being a human in a community of people. I would suggest that you fulfill these responsibilities outside working hours.

As cold as it sounds professionalism involves the ability to separate one's personal matters from work matters, such that personal matters do not disrupt work, nor do work matters disrupt personal matters.