Positives/Negatives from Mom and Dad | INFJ Forum

Positives/Negatives from Mom and Dad


Community Member
May 20, 2010
This is my first thread after being here two months now. I didn't want to put something up just to put something up, and something finally popped into my beanhead.

Of the character and personality/behavioral traits that seem to have been passed down to you from your parents, can you describe what each one contributed?

My Dad was cool, calm, and collected, but was quite the Social maven. He didn't have a nosy bone in his body, and he had a great work ethic. He was a fine athlete, and he accepted people for what they were, not what he wanted them to be. I also got my competitive nature from him. He was kind of iconoclastic. My youngest brother and I decided he had what we called the "John Wayne Syndrome", work your ass off, hold your booze, keep your mouth shut, and if anybody messes with you, kick their ass.

My Mom was just the opposite. She could make a mountain out of a molehill faster than anyone who ever lived on Earth. She was artistic and musical, singing in the Grand Ole Opry for a little while before I was born. She was very inventive, and I seemed to get that, as well as my musical ability from her, as well as a great imagination. She attempted suicide twice when young, and today she would have been diagnosed as bi-polar. There was a lot of instability in her side of the family. Both sides liked to imbibe often, and I inherited that tendancy also. That isn't a problem for me now.
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father - clear, level headed, straightforward, determined, and serious

mother - caring, supportive, driven, ambitious, and thoughtful
Good thread idea.

My Dad is a rough and gruff heavyset (beer belly) man. I still consider him the smartest guy I know even after being in college for two years. I promise this isn't because I hero worship or idolize him, in fact most of the time I can't stand being around him. He embodies practicality, there isn't anyway around it, he was born to be an engineer. Whenever I do something, and he sees me do it, he'll let me know on the spot that he knows how to do it better. That's what I mean by smartest person I know. I haven't met anyone else that will always make me feel like an idiot.

Otherwise the man is very detached. My mom swears up and down he loves my brother and I. I believe it with 90% certainty, its just hard to think of any one time he has actually let either my brother or me know it. He looks at his fatherhood as just being a provider, which he did an amazing job at. Although being emotionally invested into his kids wasn't at all visible. If I was ever in trouble I can rely on him, but I can't share anything with him. Its too hard to find the words to say.

Dad- Rational, detached caring, health conscious (in an attempt to not end up like him), studying.

My Mom is similar in being very practical, although she'll drop that side of her in a heartbeat for fun or to be there emotionally. Unlike my dad she isn't very observant. I'll have to on occasion spell things out for her to get it, but once she understands something there isn't any stopping her. She went to college but dropped out freshman year while pregnant with my brother. She started working as a lunch lady but moved up and is now the kitchen tech support for one of the largest school districts in the country. Her job requires her to pretty much be superwoman. She taught me that it is my attitude that matters, and if I have a negative one she'll always get me to change it by sternly saying, "I don't like that attitude, fix it." So even after a long day of work when she comes back home she is ready to babysit and play with my toddler age cousins. She'll claim those kids take everything out of her, but I know better. She is ready and willing to be a grandma ASAP. Which made it all the more harder to tell her I'm gay.

Mom - Hard working, work-ethic and attitude, empathy, and for those who spend time on TC.. she is the reason I can just smile from out of nowhere.
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My father is a very logical man, very ambitious, hardworking, He was more on the quiet side, and I find driving with him to be restful. However, when he was angry, I couldn't bear to look into his eyes without tears forming

Since my dad kept me away from my mom b/w the age of 5 and 13, I am not 100% certain how to describe her. She is very spontaneous, yet also calm, but she would completely lose it if she got upset. She is also ultra perceptive and suspicious of people's intentions until she got to know them.

My stepmom is very kind and generous, but she isn't much of a Thinker. And she is always trying to encourage us to please our dad before we please ourselves. She is always encouraging me, but she can get really over emotional.

So, what did I get from them?

I got my dad's ambition and idealism, my mom's intuition, and my stepmom's generosity

But other things, like my music and artistic ability , and love of reading...I think those developed on their own
My mom is a very generous person. Her loves shows through what she does for people rather than what she says. She worries a lot, always thinking about the worst that could happen, but she has a good heart. She's the protector, but she's also easy to step on. She doesn't show it, but I can tell she's sensitive to the things people say to her.

My dad is...well, he's hard to describe. He's stubborn, and very schedule-oriented and obsessed with his health. He's a realist and doesn't show much emotion, so he clashes with my idealist, over-emotional ways. He's quiet at home (he won't speak to me if I don't speak to him first), but he's also very adept socially. He makes friends easily.

I got my mom's generous, caring, protective nature while I got my dad's stubbornness. I'm set in my ways just as he is.

The one personality trait I have that is completely unique from my parents is being so open emotionally. No idea where it came from since both of my parents rarely ever voice how they're feeling, whereas I'm not shy about it at all. I wear my heart on my sleeve, while my parents keep theirs locked away.