personal growth
- Thread starter Gaze
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I still experience a lot of depression and anxiety, but it's not a crippling experience as it was before, where i couldn't even go to the store without feeling emotionally disturbed.
Also being able to cope with shyness, i've been this way since, forever to the point of stutter. Now i can say, that while still ridiculously shy and self conscious, i can handle it in more succesful ways. Like going to parties, being able to approach people casually, and exposing myself in ways that i wouldn't even think before, like dancing and screaming in the middle of streets while in a carnival, with people taping us with their smartphones. And no, i wasn't drunk nor stoned (my friends where really high though).
The struggle is there still, i still fight with self indulgence and low self esteem, always, but i won't enter in a stage of paralysis because of it. No, not anymore. Probably this is just maturity, but i realize the dangers of not taking charge of your own problems, and imo, it's a conscious effort.
Also being able to cope with shyness, i've been this way since, forever to the point of stutter. Now i can say, that while still ridiculously shy and self conscious, i can handle it in more succesful ways. Like going to parties, being able to approach people casually, and exposing myself in ways that i wouldn't even think before, like dancing and screaming in the middle of streets while in a carnival, with people taping us with their smartphones. And no, i wasn't drunk nor stoned (my friends where really high though).
The struggle is there still, i still fight with self indulgence and low self esteem, always, but i won't enter in a stage of paralysis because of it. No, not anymore. Probably this is just maturity, but i realize the dangers of not taking charge of your own problems, and imo, it's a conscious effort.
I have learned to trust myself much more than before, I'm more brave. I'm not so scared of people anymore, of course still sometimes little scared, but life is all about personal growth, right? Also because I have been battling with severe depression for many years, I have learned to accept my past... And this illness. Because without accepting it, it's harder to heal. A little bit healthier lifestyle too, not so much chocolate or pizza anymore, lol!
i am not sure how much personal growth has taken place over the last 10 years but i definitely learned more about myself and how to approach the world a little more carefully. i am a little smarter about how to handle people. my social skills have definitely improved. still loads more to learn but i'm enjoying the ride.
ugh, alot of stuffs.
I think the biggest one is that I learned if I don't take life responsabilities seriously, life would mock me and put me down.
Being irresponsable is the mark of children, not adults.
There is this idea that INFJs are "old souls"...I don't believe it. Now I laugh at the irony of that. If I wouldn't had this crisis in my life, I would remain a child probably all my life, and in all this time thinking at how "old soul" and "mature" I am.
This is not exactly a progress, but is more of a realisation, which in time I hope will lead to progress.
Also I just finished reading a book, its called "The power Principle- Influence with Honor" by Blaine Lee. Just unbelievable, so informing and so good for me. Alot of stuffs cleared for me in that book.
I also had this problem of not knowing clearly how the power chain and influence goes in society. I mean, just who are REALLY the big and important guys, and WHY they are, and what it takes to get there, in contrast to simple people. So yeah, I think I got a awarness of how the society structure really is. You'll probably find this unbelieveable, but I didn't knew this clearly until now. I was a Enneagram 5. Completly clueless to these things...
And knowing this, I just have to recognise, it really gave me a clear direction, a kind of minimal plan on how to advance and develop myself in the future.
I also had this problem of not knowing clearly how the power chain and influence goes in society. I mean, just who are REALLY the big and important guys, and WHY they are, and what it takes to get there, in contrast to simple people. So yeah, I think I got a awarness of how the society structure really is. You'll probably find this unbelieveable, but I didn't knew this clearly until now. I was a Enneagram 5. Completly clueless to these things...
And knowing this, I just have to recognise, it really gave me a clear direction, a kind of minimal plan on how to advance and develop myself in the future.
I realised finaly that laziness is lethal for mind and body, it leads into a morbid disposition.
Also for me, day-dreaming is not good. I keep trainig myself to end this bad pattern of my mind. It takes practice and patience, but I know I can overcome it. I know this because I happen to know a older INFJ, and he said to me that he himself trained when he was young to escape this habbit.
Also for me, day-dreaming is not good. I keep trainig myself to end this bad pattern of my mind. It takes practice and patience, but I know I can overcome it. I know this because I happen to know a older INFJ, and he said to me that he himself trained when he was young to escape this habbit.
the same. I struggled with this as well, and I'm better at managing my responses to people. I don't question or challenge people as much about what they think. I tend to be more live and let live in some sense compared to the past where everything was "I am right and you are wrong". I also tend to not believe things should go my way; a tough lesson I had to learn. Essentially, I had to get over myself and accept that things will often work out differently than I want or hoped, so I just have to deal with it. Same with people. I don't hold myself responsible for anyone's feelings anymore. If I don't like what someone feels or thinks, I'll let it go. I won't fight or challenge it as much as I once did. I learned I didn't need to share or express everything I feel.
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No, I don't think you're playing. I think you kind of worship your "I'm not playing" fantasy...you are stubborn to no end, whithout any real reason. You're playing with words, whithout knowin the effect they have, and the implications they have.
I just want you to know, I don't even take your bad words seriously. If I would take you, you would speak much more nice and with much more consideration.
With regard to the quote, is that I thought what you said was not true, therefore I quoted you. Do you have any problem with that? If so, I won't quote you for now on.
Wish you all the best and take care!
[MENTION=9401]LucyJr[/MENTION]
This is all I see when you post.
Maybe through your profound ignorance you didn't comprehend it, so there is a visual aid for you. Leave me alone.
The fact that you still try to talk to me even though the above is what I see shows how much of a pest you really are and how you SO BADLY need to have your say that you'd continue to bother somebody who can't even know what you are saying.
This is all I see when you post.
Maybe through your profound ignorance you didn't comprehend it, so there is a visual aid for you. Leave me alone.
The fact that you still try to talk to me even though the above is what I see shows how much of a pest you really are and how you SO BADLY need to have your say that you'd continue to bother somebody who can't even know what you are saying.
I think putting my priorities in order and respecting myself enough to honor my own ideals and experience and to pay less attention to others in relation to me about unimportant things was really big. I feel a lot less obligated to the social expectations of others now, when I was utterly beholden to them before. I am currently working on expressing my emotions more appropriately and allowing myself to be more honest and open with people to avoid buildup of anger and resentment. I think I have a lot of distorted emotions and anger from my past family issues to work through.
This is really just the past year only. A few years ago, I was a depressed wreck in a very dark place with no control over my life or my emotions. I am living in another universe now.
This is really just the past year only. A few years ago, I was a depressed wreck in a very dark place with no control over my life or my emotions. I am living in another universe now.
I used to be avoidant, worried, afraid of things I didn't understand. I would escape into fantasies quite easily, and want to avoid the world. Now, I face things more openly. I don't lie to myself as much about the reality of the world although I had too many people trying to protect me from the "big, bad" world early on. And it's been freeing to realize that it's ok not to know the unknown, or to feel unprepared or feel stressed or to fail. Those are normal feelings. Avoiding them doesn't help anything. Life was easier when you don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and don't expect to have control over things you really can't control. I used to be afraid of failure. Now, I realize it's a part of life. It's not inhuman to fail, and not know the right answer. I was always aware of this pressure to do what's right and be perfect and exactly what people want you to be. This kind of thinking makes you cave, and often leads to fear, stress, and depression. I had to realize it's ok to not be perfect whether some or all of the time. It's ok not to be impressive all the time. You can't control what people see as perfect. Sometimes, people will be overly critical, and other times, they will be too easily pleased. You can't always know which type of audience you'll get. At the end of the day, you can only control and do you.
Havn't been growing much lol feels like i been shrinking.
Though, maybe, I learnt to accept that my mind doesn't operate in standard procedures...and thats okay.
I learnt that everything starts of as a new idea. I learnt that their nothing wrong with mirroring people and building rapports until i feel like i'm in good space. I learnt that i may not explain myself sometimes, but i trust my inner private guidance. I learnt that its probably better to explain myself and express how i feel when people don't understand.
Though, maybe, I learnt to accept that my mind doesn't operate in standard procedures...and thats okay.
I learnt that everything starts of as a new idea. I learnt that their nothing wrong with mirroring people and building rapports until i feel like i'm in good space. I learnt that i may not explain myself sometimes, but i trust my inner private guidance. I learnt that its probably better to explain myself and express how i feel when people don't understand.