People are actually not what they label themselves as

[slant]

I have a lot of 'labels' attached to my identity that I would like to take the time, right now, to release myself from.

The way that I use labels is not to define myself. It is not to say 'this is what I am, exactly how I am, and I will never change'. For me, labeling a social thing. I know the way that I feel about certain aspects of myself and my life and I know the way that I want to live, so I use expressions to explain this to other people.

When I tell someone I am a pan-romantic asexual, I am not trying to tell them that necessarily, that's all I will ever be or that I fit perfectly into that sort of box. Really what it boils down to is that I have conjured a term that closely resembles what I feel, and it's something that a lot of other people feel so it's easier to relate to others.

If I'm saying that I'm a Vegan, I'm not saying I'm a Vegan for reasons to fit into some sort of grouping; it's just an easier way to relate information to another person.

And I suppose that if I ultimately wanted to I wouldn't have to use these labels to describe myself. I could tell people "I don't eat animal products of any sort." Instead of saying I'm a vegan, or I could tell others that "I don't experience sexual attraction to either sex but I do experience romantic attraction to people regardless of their sex". I'm not exactly sure why I don't state that, really.

I think the reason why labels are so bad is that it limits the way you express yourself. If I say I am a vegan, I feel almost forced to just, remain a vegan, just because I said that. Or if I say I am a pansexual asexual I almost feel like I can't change my mind about that due to the label and the pressure to maintain it. I also think that it encourages assumptions, when you have a label.

But when I think about it more, people have labels like their name, labels like their sex, their ethnicity...these are all part of their identity, and a lot of people like these things to 'define' who they are. But usually, these things don't change. If you are male or female generally do not change unless you have some odd biological defect or if you decide consciously to change it- in which case you would be living up to an ideology. So then, essentially, if you are using a label for anything other than your obvious observable physical traits you are just fleshing out and defining an ideology. And frankly, I don't think I like it when ideas are so defined and vigorously enforced to be part of your identity.

Folks....

We are not our ideas. Or are we?

Is what defines a personally literally the ideas and beliefs they hold? Because if that's the case, then having freinds who believes against what you believe is probably the end of the world. If that is all that makes a person up, if they are the complete opposite of everything you believe, then you should probably hate their guts and hate them because of what they represent.

Since, we don't do that, and are able to love and care and respect for people who believe opposite of us, then it must be the case that people are actually not their ideas that they define themselves as.

So then, saying, "I'm a Vegan", or "I'm asexual", is actually a really inaccurate way to state anything, because you are not your ideas. You can't be a democrat or republican or be a christian or a jew, because, somehow, your ideas do not define who you are. There is some human quality, some human trait, behind what you believe that makes people want to befriend you or treat you with respect and dignity even if they don't agree with what you think or represent.

So...really...when I'm labeling myself as 'Vegan' or 'Asexual', these things aren't actually what I am...these are ideas that I posses in the moment that I am telling you. They could change, and they could not. And really, it's me who's going to determine if they change or not and your view or slant or opinion on the matter doesn't make much of a difference of all. Maybe I'll learn something from your opinion or you'll learn something from mine, but it's not going to change unless I conciously make that decision, of which, it would still be my choice. No one is going to make me adopt any idea that I don't want to adopt.

 

[Capt Charisma]

That is why I adhere in no codes and laws of Who I should be. To find the answers to who you are listen to your soul.

 

[Nixie]

Your argument has merit but it doesn't take into account culture and heritage which are also biological in nature--ie you are born into a certain culture. Some might argue that certain religious institutions are also cultural but that is neither here nor there and debatable--I think it isn't true culture if you can just choose to stop being a ____. All language suffers from the foibles you point out. Communication is based on assumptions--your definition of terms will differ slightly/enormously from my definition on any given word or meaning of words combined. You can choose to doubt the meaninfulness of such labels but it doesn't take away the fact that we develop our understanding of who we are by defining what we are not and what we are. Until we learn to communicate telepathically so that there is no room for error, we are left with our imperfect verbal communication with subjective meanings. Sometimes the idea that all is not concrete can be overwhelming to some people, but I find the richness in personal differences enhances my own understanding of self and others. I find the idea that we don't understand everything and have it all down perfect comforting because it leaves wiggle room that I can claim I am actually right....

 

[Quinlan]

Are you saying I'm not "RAD!"?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I confess. I'm not really a human.

*cue freaky alien tune*

 

[Poetic Justice]

The only thing we are is human

Everything else we do

Nobody is stupid. Everybody sometimes behaves stupidly

Nobody is clever. everyone sometimes has clever ideas

Some people do some things more than others

It is useful to have labels for the wide variety of people that exist but that doesn't mean we ARE those labels

They are temporary tools to be used and then discarded when they no longer serve a purpose . Or rather, this is the way it should be. Unfortunately i don't think most people see things this way

 

[Tulip]

To be free of any constraint is to not assign yourself any label.
And don't think of yourself as any personality type.

You don't need to break away from your personality if you don't have a personality.
You can then be free to be anything.

 

[Candice_XX]

Since, we don't do that, and are able to love and care and respect for people who believe opposite of us, then it must be the case that people are actually not their ideas that they define themselves as.

I don't agree with that... because I do believe that "we are our ideas" = we create thoughts and judgments about things and then we live our life according to them. In my words "we are our choices".
There can be the case that people are not "just black" or "just white", they take wide range of views in different matters and so they confuse those who don't care to learn about them. That does not call off the fact that we are what we think.
Coming to a general conclusion by a detail is why a label can create boundaries but in fact a label is used that way by people who don't think at all. In reality, labels can be very useful in defining something.

And I can not see the contradiction between the ability of respecting others with different ideas and the fact that people are defined by ideas. If a friend doesn't like your idea it is not the end of the world, it's not that he doesn't like you, but he doesn't like an aspect of you. There is lot of more in you than not eating meat or not having sex. Disagreement is not rejection. A disagreement in everything can be the case, but you still can respect the other person (because you understand where he comes from, because he is genuine, polite or has arguments).

Therefore, labels are well placed the way they are, people generate ideas that are part of them, peoples' choices are under criticism, criticism without deep and loving understanding/intelligence brings wrong outcomes and respect and love do not need agreement in ideas.
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