Parents Keep Sex of Child Secret | INFJ Forum

Parents Keep Sex of Child Secret

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by 894tt3h9, May 25, 2011.

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  1. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

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    http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/Children+aren+born+pink+blue/4834775/story.html

    Hi all,


    I came across the article today about two parents in Toronto who are keeping the sex of their baby a secret. I'm not sure if they plan to do this indefinitely or if it's something they'll do until only a certain age but I find it interesting.

    I'm interested to hear what you think about the article and if you would ever consider doing this with your children?
     
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  2. Edith

    Edith little birdy
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    There's been discussion about this on another forum I'm on.

    I don't agree with it.
     
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  3. Galileo

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    it's telling me it's a bad request whenever I click on that....
     
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  4. not sure

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    I can't condemn the parents. Parents all over this planet are accidentally raising their children and frankly that is probably the most appalling social experiment of all.
     
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  5. dream echo

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    While I disagree with gender stereotyping in general, and provided my own kids with a variety of toys, etc. targeted towards their opposite genders, I think these parents are taking things too far.

    Of course it is unknown for how long they intend to keep this secret, but this choice may have more negative repercussions than they realize, especially should they wish to continue this long-term.

    While I can think of many possible reasons for this decision, I also cannot help but wonder why they chose to do this with their third child, and not the older two.
     
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  6. Edith

    Edith little birdy
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    My problem is not with the idea of it - I think it's very admirable to not want their child to feel pressured by gender stereotyping and expectations - the way they're going about it is all wrong to me.
     
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  7. Galileo

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    isn't this just making a bigger deal of a person's sex than is necessary?
    I mean, I get that parents don't want to have any sexual stereotype placed on their child, but to go the extent of not actually recognising their child's sex to the world at large is a bit much. better to raise it in a way that teaches it to disregard gender as an important factor in playmates and friends.
     
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  8. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Ideally that sounds like a good reason and experiment, but they seem to conveniently forget that other children and people are reacting according to what they seen. What if what they see is a boy? a girl? Something inbetween? A freak? And they will react properly.

    I feel a bad feeling about their children. I mean, if they're growing with a healthy sense of being, and a good self-confidence, that's alright. But otherwise..... <_<;;;;;
     
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  9. acd

    acd Baba Yaga

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    +1!


    They should teach their child to embrace and be comfortable in their own body regardless of sex..I guess that depends on how long they plan on keeping it a secret.
    I consider myself a feminist, but that doesn't meant that I don't consider myself a woman.

    They could just dress the child in gender neutral clothes and interact with it as they would..setting that example for others on how to interact with their child.
    But I'm not the sort of person who hides things...to hide something implies shame...
    And I don't think they are really giving their children the opportunity to make their own decisions about it as much as they are shaping them to be the way they want them to when it comes to gender.
     
    #9 acd, May 25, 2011
    Last edited: May 25, 2011
  10. bamf

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    Well, I might be a little bit against the grain, but I think this is very interesting. The child is still a baby, and it is assumable that it knows nothing of what is going on around it. I have a feeling they're doing this as an example of how ridiculous gender typing is. The article makes an interesting point in that the first question most people ask right after birth is if the baby is a boy or a girl, and thus their perception of the child is effected by gender right out of the gates. By not disclosing the gender, they are challenging such interactions.

    All I hope is that they give it up while the child is still young.
     
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  11. insontis

    insontis Community Member

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    I'd imagine they can't keep it a secret for very long. I mean, once the child learns to talk and looks down the cat's out of the bag. Besides, the child's name is Storm. Clearly they are pulling a stunt for an X-Men convention in a decade or two.
     
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  12. Detective Conan

    Detective Conan Doesn't Cast Shadows

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    This whole things reminds me of an article I read somewhere (might've been here, I don't remember) about this same kind of thing. Supposedly, the child's upbringing was more beneficial than one of a "normal" upbringing. I'd hate it if the parents were just doing this for the sake of a social experiment...
     
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  13. dream echo

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    The first thing I thought of when I read this article was wondering if I would ever do this and why. Tbh, the only reason I could come up with was maybe if my child had been born with ambiguous genitalia and I was waiting to decide on possible therapeutic options. But Idk much about such things or what I would truly do in such a situation.
     
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  14. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    That's a very good point. I just saw this article and didn't even click, I thought how silly are they? I figured maybe it was for attention but your explanation makes sense.
     
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  15. Edith

    Edith little birdy
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    No, I'm pretty sure their baby doesn't have ambiguous genitalia. They have stated they are doing this as an experiment.
     
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  16. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    God, I hope the kid doesn't choke on all the granola they feed it..
    Joking! I am joking...

    Yea, do as you will. I'm with [MENTION=3710]kiu[/MENTION]; It might accidentially be beneficial or it might accidentially require lots of therapy. Hopefully the parent's have the child's best interest at heart but the press around their actions seems contrary to that.
     
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  17. dream echo

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    While I am not disagreeing and am only theorizing, I really was only expressing in what circumstances, if any, I would possibly have made a similar decision. Also, if I didn't want others to know about those circumstances, I certainly wouldn't advertise the reasoning, and might make up such an excuse as social experimentation if I thought it would protect my child.

    I guess the whole thing is confusing to me, because as previously expressed by others, by deliberately trying to make gender a non-issue, it seems to make it the only issue, especially considering the media attention it's getting.
     
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  18. Detective Conan

    Detective Conan Doesn't Cast Shadows

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    I just hope the parents aren't first timers with this and try to raise the baby on a vegan diet or something... I'd hate to see another kid go malnourished (or, worse, die) because the parents didn't know better. And, yes, there are stories of vegan parents raising newborns on vegan diets that result in malnutrition.
     
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  19. TheLastMohican

    TheLastMohican Captain Obvious
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    The beauty in this is that it raises the question: why is it so important to know a baby's gender? The people who demand reasons for declining to specify should ask themselves why they care so much about the answer in the first place.

    It's well documented that people treat babies differently based on (supposed) sex. These parents prefer to avoid that early start on stereotype reinforcement. I respect that. It's not sustainable, of course, but up through toddlerhood it's a valid way of preventing undue influences. They are not denying that their baby is of a certain sex. They are just trying to let the associated characteristics develop from within as much as possible.
     
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  20. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    They are raising the child neither in a male, nor female gender role; but rather in a social experiment subject role.

    The kid will probably be a pain in the ass as an adult.
     
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