On the edge of madness

Heh, I'm like the opposite, love time to myself but there's only so much I can bare before I need to be with other ppl for a bit to 'recharge' my motivation.

If you have a car, take a trip on a sunny day with good music and plenty of food. Go somewhere nice, or just for the drive, but either way, enjoy it.

 

Well the idea is not to cruise around your immediate vicinity, it's to put some miles between you and your centre of routine. But since you don't have a car, hm! I guess you could get a bus and tell your boyfriend you had to go see your mother or something equally unconvincing.

Or rent a car, I hear it's pretty affordable in the US.

 

Poor baby! That sounds awful.
I develop an unreasonable fondness for hot baths and lock myself in the bathroom. For a long time.

Also, if I tell my husband and kids I want to go fabric shopping at a crafts store and then do some antiquing, they usually bolt like rats from a sinking ship and I get the afternoon to myself. :-D

 

Hmm, conundrum. Well, jump on your bike with a basket of food - after telling your boyfriend you're off to get some fresh air - and have a jolly good cycle after which you'll have an appetite and a half which is where the food comes in.

Spontaneity is sometimes great

Edit: Which country?

 

I think that not telling him could make bigger issue of it than telling him. I had this problem with my boyfriend and after that big talk everything is much better. Not telling him something that is essential to you is like withholding part of yourself, and although I could agree that partners shouldn't know everything about each other this part of your personality could affect your relationship if not explained to him. I don't know how long you two are together, but my advice is to tell him.

But to be completely honest with you, you should be prepared that how things progress (having a job, starting a family and such) there will be less and less space for you to be completely alone, so I suggest you find some kind of compromise. In time I learned to share a space with my boyfriend but to do my thing while he does his, and that way I have time for myself and he can be around and not feel left out. We have an understanding what will irritate the other one (loud music etc) so we don't do that kind of stuff if someone needs time to recharge.

 

Hmmm, interesting advice, haven't thought of that. Very helpful indeed. Thank you.

 

Quite a change! This winter's meant to be a bit of a freezer too. May you adjust fast

 

It's a hard one and I've been there myself. Some thoughts:

1) Explain it to your boyfriend. If he can't deal with it then he's not right for you anyway. My wife know very well by now that I need my "quiet time" and doesn't resent it at all.
2) Long walks or bike rides. Cycling is good because people can come with if they want but can't talk to you without smashing into street signs and parked cars. The English winter is just about over now, don't despair (I moved the other way from UK to Oz!)
3) Libraries especially university libraries are good. No taking allowed. Libraries are full of Introvert refugees.
4) Take up meditation, and retire to your room for a half-hour of concentrated quiet-time once a day or so. You will need to explain to your mates what you are doing, but people are usually cool about it (in fact often a bit impressed / envious)

 

This one time, I attended this thing for new business school students where we would spend 2 nights and 2 days together with our fellow students. We had hotel rooms too, 4 people to a room. Anyhow, after 2 days, during lunch I just walked off from everyone and stood maybe 50 ft away until lunch was over. I didn't understand personality stuff at that time; I just felt the need to be by myself.

Also, they gave us these T-shirts that they made us wear for 2 days. Ewwww..... gotta wash that shit after 1 day.