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Mind reading . . .

Gaze

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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Recently i was told by my therapist that part of my anxiety is based on unnecessary mind reading. This means that i worry too much about what i think others may be thinking or perceiving me. This is true.

So, how many of you are "afflicted" ;) with this tendency to mind read, only to realize that you are projecting your own impressions? How do you avoid mind reading so that your mind is clear and you can approach your goals and people in a better frame of mind?
 
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It's gotten me into very stressful modes with romantic relationships. I use subtal body language cues with people to read them (many of these I am not even aware that I am reading them). With friends it often can work really well. However with relationships my emotions prevent me from reading accurately and or trusting/beleiving what I read. It then becomes a block. So in a nutshell I have this problem, but only with certain people.
 
I'm about the same with Indy, except it hasn't really caused me any problems. I know I have to take everything at face value when it comes to romantics, and I always have.
 
I have to be very careful not to project my anxieties into what I think I'm reading from other people. If I start to feel anxious at all I try to shut down the reading part of me and just take the other person at face value...thinking I'm better off not agitating myself with falsehoods.

In general I've come to half trust my gut with reading people and weigh whatever readings I get with how the other person acts/what they say. If my readings match up with my experiences with them I tend to trust my readings with that particular person more. Of course the more I get to know someone the easier it is for me to read them, with some exceptions.
 
My INFJ really does read my mind, she's been doing it for years, and she's uncannily accurate. It used to freak me out, but after many years, I'm used to it. As a physician, she is exquisitely attuned to her patients so that she comes up with unexpected diagnoses that amaze all her residents and fellows, not to mention the other attending physicians. It is a great talent to have and a wonderful source of power to do good.
 
Reading others

I can only read senders. I cannot read other receivers like myself. I am learning to trust my readings more and am amazed that I have much more ability than I thought and it's getting stronger all the time. I have a friend who is a professional psychic (INFP) who kept telling me this, but I found it hard to trust my gut. Now, the more I see it working, the more I trust it.

I am the opposite of Skathac, in that I can read strangers much better than people I know. The better I get to know someone, the more my emotional investment interferes with accurate reading.

As far as caring what others think of me, I don't give a damn. Most of you are very young. When you get older like me, you won't care so much. Most people are not thinking about you anyway. They are thinking about themselves almost all the time, like most of us. And, if you become seriously ill like I am, you will find out that most of your friends are really not, and start wondering why you ever worried what they thought. (No need to pity me, I do have a few good friends who stuck with me).

Is it healthy to do this a lot? Not for me. It makes me sad. I don't think I should have this gift, because I can't handle knowing how bad so many people are. My friend who does this for a living says she loves all people no matter what they do. I am nowhere near being that advanced. I hope my ramblings haven't strayed too far from the original subject.

klutzo
 
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klutzo said:
I can only read senders. I cannot read other receivers like myself. I am learning to trust my readings more and am amazed that I have much more ability than I thought and it's getting stronger all the time. I have a friend who is a professional psychic (INFP) who kept telling me this, but I found it hard to trust my gut. Now, the more I see it working, the more I trust it.

I am the opposite of Skathac, in that I can read strangers much better than people I know. The better I get to know someone, the more my emotional investment interferes with accurate reading.

As far as caring what others think of me, I don't give a damn. Most of you are very young. When you get older like me, you won't care so much. Most people are not thinking about you anyway. They are thinking about themselves almost all the time, like most of us. And, if you become seriously ill like I am, you will find out that most of your friends are really not, and start wondering why you ever worried what they thought. (No need to pity me, I do have a few good friends who stuck with me).

Is it healthy to do this a lot? Not for me. It makes me sad. I don't think I should have this gift, because I can't handle knowing how bad so many people are. My friend who does this for a living says she loves all people no matter what they do. I am nowhere near being that advanced. I hope my ramblings haven't strayed too far from the original subject.

klutzo
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Same. I find it easier to "study from behind the glass" when I become personally involved projection of my own agenda creates interference.

This isn't much of a problem for me, because I am such a loner that almost everyone is "behind the glass".
 
Res said:
Recently i was told by my therapist that part of my anxiety is based on unnecessary mind reading. This means that i worry too much about what i think others may be thinking or perceiving me. This is true.

So, how many of you are "afflicted" ;) with this tendency to mind read, only to realize that you are projecting your own impressions? How do you avoid mind reading so that your mind is clear and you can approach your goals and people in a better frame of mind?
Click to expand...

About 3 weeks ago my therapist told me that "I think too much". LOL Last week I informed him that it was my type and that INFJ's think - a lot. :m119:

So - yes - I do it too.

I am practicing mindfulness as it is taught in the Buddhist method. I watch what my mind is doing without judgment. The moment I realize that I'm thinking about what might or could happen or what they might be thinking or what they might do or what they said or did in the past - I stop thinking and focus on exactly what's in front of me.

That stops my mind from projecting my own value system or thought process onto what's actually happening and helps me stay grounded in the moment. It's an arduous task, but essential for helping me expand my capabilities within me.
 
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krussellgal said:
I am practicing mindfulness as it is taught in the Buddhist method. I watch what my mind is doing without judgment. The moment I realize that I'm thinking about what might or could happen or what they might be thinking or what they might do or what they said or did in the past - I stop thinking and focus on exactly what's in front of me.

That stops my mind from projecting my own value system or thought process onto what's actually happening and helps me stay grounded in the moment. It's an arduous task, but essential for helping me expand my capabilities within me.
Click to expand...

I think this is what i need to do. Good stuff.
 
Res said:
How do you avoid mind reading so that your mind is clear and you can approach your goals and people in a better frame of mind?
Click to expand...

Whenever an opinion about someone or something pops into your head ask yourself "how do you know?" What do you see, hear or feel that supports the mind read

This forces you to seek sensory evidence for the mind read. If there is no sensory evidence then it may be just an assumption and wrong

Mind reading isn't always a bad thing though. Whats the difference between mind reading and intuition?
 
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Experience informs our intuition.

If you ask yourself the "How do you know?" question regularly you will start to notice non verbal language among other things which will focus you attention more on how your intuition arrives at it's decisions.

This will increase the reliability of your mind reads/intuition.

What is the difference between intuition and mind reading?

Nothing.

So long as you are aware of the approximate level of accuracy of your mind reads and don't unconditionally believe them then they can be useful
 
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I do this every single minute of the day.

If your therapist tells you how to stop doing that and you succeed, please let me know the secret Res, because I'd love to know how.
 
I always imagine people in their PJs when I think about what they think of me.
 
I'm able to mind read almost all of my close friends. those that I cant, I learn more abt them and am able to eventually. accurately ;)
 
 
Broken Beggar said:
I do this every single minute of the day.

If your therapist tells you how to stop doing that and you succeed, please let me know the secret Res, because I'd love to know how.
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It's pretty hard, and so far, it's a struggle. I'll keep working on it, and let you know if things improve. :)
 
This made me think of yesterday: I was standing at the main office printer writing on an invoice when my boss comes and stands next to me but doesn't say a word. I without thinking give him my pen when I am done and he says shocked: how did you know I wanted to use your pen? :noidea:
 
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