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soulseeker

soulseeker

Permanent Fixture
Dec 19, 2008
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INFJ
I went to mass last Sunday and I don't know how I made it through the whole mass..well I was almost crying during the mass

me and my father went to the Church and as usual, my father likes to sit at the front row

and we knelt to pray then the priest told us to move because the first row was reserved (there's no sign that says it's reserved)
but the people who were supposed to sit there weren't there yet and we were praying so my father told the priest (in a nice way) that we would transfer to another seat after like a minute or less

then I heard people from the back say "father, it looks like they didn't understand what you said" while laughing <---they said that in a criticizing manner

and I was shocked at what the priest said.. he said "Oh they heard it but they're hard headed"

OKAY!!! IT'S NOT LIKE WE'VE BEEN KNEELING THERE FOR LIKE FOREVER OR EVEN 10 MINUTES.. NOT EVEN MORE THAN 5 MINUTES...

I just don't get it........

I FEEL LEFT OUT LIKE EVERYWHERE.. I GO TO THE CHURCH BECAUSE I LOVE GOD I LOVE JESUS

I HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE.. I SACRIFICE MY FEELINGS FOR PEOPLE
I'VE BEEN GOOD TO MY PARENTS EMOTIONALLY
I'VE DONE A LOT OF KIND THINGS (although I do it hiddenly)

AND BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TREATED BADLY BY A LOT OF PEOPLE, I GO TO THE CHURCH because I FEEL ACCEPTED THERE..and last sunday... it was very very different......

I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE CAN BE THAT RUDE and disrespectful

IN THE CHURCH!!!!!!!

it's like.. the church is my only escape.. it's my comfort zone.. it's the place where I find peace... and because of that incident, my view of some "people of god" CHANGED

people are that mean and rude.. I can't believe they would do that....

i believe i'm not exaggerating this. YES I AM VERY SENSITIVE but THAT INCIDENT...it's just SOMETHING, I feel disrespected and violated and crushed.

I WOULD NEVER FORGET THAT
 
I'm sorry that happened to you. The only thing that I can think to say is that people can act like jerks anywhere (even in a place that is a sanctuary for you).

What they did was very rude and it was wrong of them to say those things. They should have been more polite to you and your father.
 
Oh hon. I can feel how much this hurt you. I'm officially firing all those mean people for you. But I hope you don't give up your safe haven. Even if this was as many as 7 people, that's still a small number. We all get judged unkindly, and I'm sorry that happened to you. You are a better person than them!
 
Oh, I'm so sorry that happened. A few mean/inconsiderate people do not make a mean world - and...

I guess thats one reason a lot of people don't like church or churchy types -- it's a great way to put on a kind face and feel all superior and holier-than-thou while actually being a jerk. Or a criminal, in some cases.

That does not mean everyone at your church is a jerk or a criminal, or that you are not accepted or loved by many of them. I'm sure you really are loved by many of them. You simply can't expect everyone to love you or be nice to you, that's not the way the world works; it's certainly not the way church works. Hurts to have to learn this but it's true.

People are a mixed bag. And they have bad days, and they sometimes make bad decisions, and say things without thinking. Maybe that's what happened? (((hugs))) Sorry it happened to you.
 
Azure_Knight said:
I'm sorry that happened to you. The only thing that I can think to say is that people can act like jerks anywhere (even in a place that is a sanctuary for you).

What they did was very rude and it was wrong of them to say those things. They should have been more polite to you and your father.
Click to expand...

but THAT place is SUPPOSED TO BE a SANCTUARY for THEM too

and so I question, where did all the Catholic teachings taught to them go????
those people who said that were regular mass goers... IT IS EXPECTED and it is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY to learn something from mass


Shai Gar said:
Well yes. Of course they're disrespectful. They're Christian.
Click to expand...


I'm a Catholic Christian too but I DO NOT DO THAT.. especially if I know it will embarrass people

I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE COURAGE TO LOOK AT THEM... I WAS ASHAMED THAT CATHOLIC CHRISTIANS CAN SAY THOSE THINGS ESPECIALLY IN THE CHURCH
 
Moxie said:
Oh hon. I can feel how much this hurt you. I'm officially firing all those mean people for you. But I hope you don't give up your safe haven. Even if this was as many as 7 people, that's still a small number. We all get judged unkindly, and I'm sorry that happened to you. You are a better person than them!
Click to expand...

yeahp well I've been thinking about incidents like these in the Church and I decided that I would journey with the Church despite its shadows :)


Janet said:
Oh, I'm so sorry that happened. A few mean/inconsiderate people do not make a mean world - and...

I guess thats one reason a lot of people don't like church or churchy types -- it's a great way to put on a kind face and feel all superior and holier-than-thou while actually being a jerk. Or a criminal, in some cases.

That does not mean everyone at your church is a jerk or a criminal, or that you are not accepted or loved by many of them. I'm sure you really are loved by many of them. You simply can't expect everyone to love you or be nice to you, that's not the way the world works; it's certainly not the way church works. Hurts to have to learn this but it's true.

People are a mixed bag. And they have bad days, and they sometimes make bad decisions, and say things without thinking. Maybe that's what happened? (((hugs))) Sorry it happened to you.
Click to expand...

:) of course I know that everyone would not love me bwahahahahaha
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE CAN BE THAT RUDE

during the mass..I've been telling myself to calm down and breathe because I've been with the Church for a long time, I've always seen God as my everything and I've built my relationship with God for a long time (especially during hard times) and that this relationship, this going to the Church isn't about me and other Catholics (well of course it's also a journey with them) but the deep relationship is not between us.. it's between me and God

so that's why I wouldn't want just a person or two or three or four ruin that relationship

:msith:
 
I felt quite angry reading that, so I can only imagine how you felt, being there. I'm sorry you felt that your sanctuary was invaded by such mean spiritedness. I suggest you write that priest a letter and let him know how it made you feel. I would, because with the job he has, he really owes you an apology.
 
Elf said:
I felt quite angry reading that, so I can only imagine how you felt, being there. I'm sorry you felt that your sanctuary was invaded by such mean spiritedness. I suggest you write that priest a letter and let him know how it made you feel. I would, because with the job he has, he really owes you an apology.
Click to expand...


my father didn't even notice what happened.... some people are mean.. and some people don't even know what's happening :( :( :(

he wasn't affected...ahahaahaha

well I've felt something with the priest.. before.. there's just something I can just feel something with people and I KNOW if they like me or not even without direct contact... I can even feel it when they look at me

and that priest.. I KNEW HE DIDN'T LIKE ME.....

and there's another priest who I ALSO KNOW DOESN'T LIKE ME

it's just I CAN FEEL IT!!!!!! IT'S REAL!!!!!

BUT... EVEN IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME.... I still respect them and I would be too shy to give them a letter. I feel like violating something

I know they're human beings as well and I understand that they have personal biases and they have feelings and they can make mistakes.

well I just prayed for them...... I feel awkward when people apologize.... I would feel .... I don't know what I would feel if a priest would apologize to me... I would feel that it's not right
 
I have often found churches to contain some of the meanest and most hypocritical people that I have meet on this planet. Hence why I don't attend church anymore.

However, don't mind them. If the preist wants to be a jackass, let him be. If the people want to follow him, then let them.
They are only making themselves look stupid in front of god.
You and your father are not the ones at fault.

The priest owes you, your father and god an apology for his ignorance, if he does not give you one then I suggest you find a different church.

Question, has anything like this happened before in the church you attend?
 
Once you let something like that bother you to a certain degree, you give your power away to the people who hurt you. Remember to be a survivor, not a victim.
 
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Sometimes the people in charge of the institution set the tone. If it wasn't just a one time occurrence, then maybe you can find another Catholic church that better represents your values.
 
I'm sorry
 
My other suggestion to you Soulseeker would be to pray for the priest and those that laughed at you and your father, that they will learn from their mistake.
Forgive them even if they don't apologise to you and move on.
 
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Can't you take a joke?

Your attributing way to much to that, those people have long forgotten the entire thing!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
i'm sorry that happened to you, it must have felt awful. but if it makes you feel any better, he probably didn't intend to disrespect you or your father, i'm guessing he meant it as an (inappropriate) joke. forgiveness is what christianity is all about, right? so forgive him. even preists have their occasionally offensive moments.
 
Another fine example of people loving their neighbors as much as they love themselves.
 
Going to church does not make somebody a good person. Living righteously does. The two are not perfectly correlated. Mean people may go to church to elevate their social status, or to save themselves from a fiery hell of an afterlife. The kindest person may be non-religious. Can't give people too much credit, no matter who they are. Gotta judge with your own eyes.

Pay no attention to PastaKing. Seriously, just ignore that message. It's not even worth discussing.
 
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