Master of Manipulation
- Thread starter Mike S
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Why is this a problem? Is it negatively affecting your life or the people around you at present?
- Sep 28, 2008
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Yea I know this problem well and was headed in that direction back in high school and partly in college as well, never fully got rid of it but in this day and age it may as well pass for social skills /cringe.
Morally it is Very wrong and I do feel some shame for having it and even more so as I despise this in other people. When it is born out of necessity for survival is one thing but most people do it because the Want to and they love to control other people.
Morally it is Very wrong and I do feel some shame for having it and even more so as I despise this in other people. When it is born out of necessity for survival is one thing but most people do it because the Want to and they love to control other people.
I don't think it has to be a problem. We all have the ability to harm others, one way or another, but we choose whether or not to do so.
I'm honestly not very good at manipulating others, but I have been accused of being manipulative, so it's even possible for people to perceive manipulation when it isn't there.
If you start noticing a pattern in which you are indeed hurting others with this "ability" out of malevolence or a desire for control, I think you need to look at your motivations. Until then, I wouldn't stress too much about it.
I'm honestly not very good at manipulating others, but I have been accused of being manipulative, so it's even possible for people to perceive manipulation when it isn't there.
If you start noticing a pattern in which you are indeed hurting others with this "ability" out of malevolence or a desire for control, I think you need to look at your motivations. Until then, I wouldn't stress too much about it.
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- Sep 28, 2008
- 41,196
- 246,467
- 4,281
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 954 so/sx
People will go as far as they are comfortable with no push back. If you get resistance and don't recognize that resistance and/or continue on your path then you are causing harm. It's up to you to decide and do a cost-benefit analysis of the harm you create. The important thing is actually being aware of it.
You hit the nail on the head when you said that solitude is necessary, certainly keeps me from making mistakes with people and saves me the stress of having to be around them when I don't need to.
Honestly I think you focus on the wrong thing. First and foremost, I'm with the xNTP, everyone manipulates, big deal its how we interact. Don't be a dick about it. If you really want to deal with this then step one is to not lie to yourself, stop talking about out of nececity, doesn't matter and retracts/diverges from your problem. You want to deal with it, not shift the blame. Lie to others, but at least be honest with yourself.
But if you feel like the less people you interact with the better or what not, then you have bigger things to deal with than being afraid of manipulating others.
But if you feel like the less people you interact with the better or what not, then you have bigger things to deal with than being afraid of manipulating others.