Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love! | INFJ Forum

Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Phoenix Down, Jul 11, 2010.

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  1. Phoenix Down

    Phoenix Down Permanent Fixture

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    Damn McGregor and his gorgeous voice. :mlove2:


    But anyway, I thought I'd open this topic here since y'all are adorable and probably won't bring up philosophers I hate (I'm talking to you, INTps) . In other words, I would like to hear the NF view on this although all other view points are certainly welcome.

    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Do you believe love holds power? (Heart is totes the coolest power ever :p)
    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?

    Women, do you think you could love somthing that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)
    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    What could you nott stand for, even in the name of love?



    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    To appearence?
    To status?
    To wealth?

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?
     
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  2. Detective Conan

    Detective Conan Doesn't Cast Shadows

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Although I have no personal experience with it, I'm still suspicious that it exists somewhere... even under a rock.

    Do you believe love holds power?
    Of all flavors; really depends on what kind of power you mean.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    Depends on the people in question. Sometimes, love can't have any power at all because it's not even skin deep. Other times, it can drive people to do insane things.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?
    I was, but I'm taking a long break from that fruitless journey... but, that's when people say you "find love" is when you don't search for it.

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    How big of a case are we talking?

    What could you not stand for, even in the name of love?
    Hmm I guess I could definitely not stand for someone that was unfaithful.

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    No, I just think it can often times suffer from head trauma.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?

    Dunno.
     
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  3. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    Love is utterly useless.

    You know why? It's never enough on it's own.

    Two people could love each other entirely, and yet, without cirumstance, luck, attraction, courage and experience, they can die without so much as winking at each other.

    I hate myself for being attracted to people.

    Attraction is so irregular. If something can't be defined, measured, analysed or drawn up, then it's wrong and shouldn't be.

    Well thats my tuppence anyway.
     
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  4. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    The question about love is; Is it meaningful?

    I think love is a separate entity on its own. No one, no love, no pairings, no lovers would be able to completely survive without all the other things you'd mentioned (or they have to have a really strong Power of Love™ to surpass all those aspects that's lacking) But what would circumstances, luck, courage and experience (as far as romantic attachments were concerned) do without love as its core?

    And for attraction.................
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXVUvAtZJ-M"]YouTube- Darren Hayes-Love and attraction+ lyrics[/ame]
    I'm with Darren Hayes, most of the time.
    Attraction + Love = hard. But is it worthless, or worthless to pursue? No wai.

     
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  5. thirtiesgirl

    thirtiesgirl Regular Poster

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    Um... love is a many-splendored thing. Observe:

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0XClu_oqkE"]YouTube- "Love is a many splendored thing"(慕情)[/ame]
     
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  6. Gaze

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    - Yes and no. I can't say i believe in something i've never fully experienced. I can observe it in others but i don't know that sense of knowing because i've never had it - hook, line, and sinker.

    Do you believe love holds power? (Heart is totes the coolest power ever :p)
    - Yeah, but maybe it depends on the feelings and the person. Depends on how you submit to it - how you define it or how if influences your thoughts or passions.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    - it can give you comfort when times are difficult. It can make you make you feel strong and settled. But it can't make you happy. A counselor told me recently, that someone can't make you happy- rather you choose to be happy because you love them. Hard thing to truly understand but it's probably true.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?
    - Not necessarily. Searching for something may make you mistake something false or superficial for the real thing. But it doesn't stop us from searching or feeling, does it?

    Women, do you think you could love somthing that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)
    - Tricky thing about love, is that it's still possible to love a person even if they're not best person for you. The hardest thing is to do what's best and walk away from a situation in which your well being is sacrificed. Sometimes, we're too apt to believe the saying, "i love someone enough for the both of us."

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    - Yes, but i think they'd resent us eventually which doesn't really equal a lasting and happy relationship.

    What could you nott stand for, even in the name of love?
    - Being treated like i'm just another woman. Whoever we are, we're people first, and gender second. Someone dismissing how i feel and think because they think that as a guy they are more logical, more intelligent, smarter, and more capable and so my opinion is inadequate. Assuming that i won't or don't understand simply because i'm a woman, or because (as a person) i may not be very vocal, or as assertive, etc.

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    -Well, it depends on how you define "romantic" love. Love centered around romance tends to focus mainly on the positive and feel good aspects of the person and relationship, so in some sense it's blind.
    -But (based on what i hear ;), real love sees the complete picture, and loves anyway.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for
    - stupidly, i'm a sucker for the mysterious - but of course nothing is ever as it seems.
     
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    #6 Gaze, Jul 11, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2010
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  7. thirtiesgirl

    thirtiesgirl Regular Poster

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Yes.

    Do you believe love holds power?
    Yes.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    Love is an inactive noun. It can't do anything in itself. People who are in love, people who are loving can do a lot of things when they're feeling that way. I don't believe love causes involuntary actions, but I believe people can choose to do all sorts of wonderful and not so wonderful things when they're in love.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?
    Yes. I've done it in the past. I've had long-distance relationships with guys in different states, even different countries in the hope that it might grow into a committed relationship.

    Women, do you think you could love something that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)
    Um... I'm really not sure what other kind of danger there is. Emotional danger, maybe, but you can recover from your emotions being endangered far more easily than you can from being physically endangered.

    My personal answer to the question would have to be no. I came close to physical endangerment once when I dated a guy who was a functioning alcoholic. I didn't know he was an alcoholic when we first started dating (functioning alkys can hide it pretty well), so I didn't really figure it out until we'd been dating about a month. I was starting to fall for the guy, too. Aside from the alcoholism, he was really a good guy, and I could tell his attraction to me was real. I could see myself building a relationship with him. ...But the more I noticed alcoholic behavior from him, I began to see what was going on.

    On our second to last date, we'd gone driving in his truck and I realized he'd been half in the bag when he was driving. He could have killed us both. That definitely didn't sit well with me. On our last date (although I didn't know it was our last when we started), we were going to the movies and he asked me to stop at a liquor store so he could buy a flask. That was the first time he'd done that in front of me. The pieces started to come together and I finally saw what was going on. We went to the movies, where he hid the flask in his jacket and then sneakily poured it into his slushie once we were in the theater. After a few sips, he was braying like a donkey at things that weren't even funny in the movie. Afterwards, I made the decision to end it. I was not going to date an alcoholic, no matter how much I thought he was an otherwise good guy or how much physical chemistry we had. I made the choice to not fall in love with a guy who could be physically and emotionally dangerous to me.

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    Um... I'm not really sure what you mean by "keep." If not given freely, it's not true love, so I'd never intend to "keep" anyone against their will. If you mean "keep," as in keep them interested, I think that would be up to my partner. I also don't think of people in limiting terms like "hot" or "not," "10" or "1," "trophy wife," "trophy husband," etc. I see people as a whole, and if I love someone, I love them for everything they are, the good and the bad. So I can't really answer your question.

    What could you not stand for, even in the name of love?
    Alcoholism, as illustrated above. Physical, verbal and emotional abuse. Rampant intolerance and close-mindedness. Constant poor communication, a lack of emotional integrity. Lack of ambition and interest in the outside world. (I'm not talking money-hungry, "I must be the top executive in my company" kind of thing, but just a general ambition to discover new things about life, about themselves, take a class once in a while for self-improvement, and/or try to learn something new about their career, enjoy occasionally learning something new.)

    Do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    I think new romantic love can appear blind to appearance and wealth. Notice I wrote "appear." I don't believe it's blindness, but a choice to look beyond things that you might otherwise not find attractive in a person, whether it's physical appearance, wealth, personal hygiene, having a good personality, etc. For example, I used to have a guy friend who would fall for some of the meanest women on the planet. They'd seriously treat him like shit. When he was in that "new love" phase, though, these women could do no wrong, no matter how much they trash-talked him to his face, used him for his money and his car, "borrowed" his cell phone, etc. Once he was finally past the new love stage, he'd start to see these women for what they were and quickly fall out of love with them. He finally started dating women who treated him better. But before he made that change, he'd introduced his group of friends to so many women who just made us cringe. It was obvious he was choosing to see beyond the negative personalities of these women.

    Now true love, on the other hand, I don't believe is blind. I think it's nearly unconditional. Not completely, of course, because we always have certain expectations of our partners, but true love will, for the most part, accept and love you for who you are, flaws and all. That's not blindness, but a choice to love without conditions. It takes time to learn how to do it and to develop it with a partner.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for? Self-deprecation, especially if done in a witty way.
     
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  8. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Love has enough power to kill, to make life seem terrible or wonderful. That shit is potent.
     
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  9. Gaze

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    Thing about love or feelings associated with being in love is that they have the ability to make you feel so much that you lose your sense of reasoning. Even if you know something is not right or you know you're moving too quickly, or you know your feelings are more infatuation than love, the intensity of your feeling can be so overpowering that you feel powerless to resist it. It's funny how easy it is to feel so much for someone, and not know them very well or at all. I think that's what's most surprising about "love" or at least feelings which mimic the feel of being in love (whatever that means). ;)
     
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  10. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Well yes I don't see a reason not to. Why would you not believe in a feeling?


    Yes it can be a positive power or negative one but assuming that love is only positive is dangerous.


    Love is very very multifaceted so I am having trouble answering this one. But generally I've noticed that love can lead to inner unity or it can fill a person with unfulfilled longing.


    No, if a person goes out of their way to find love I believe they blind themselves to it. It'll turn into just another idealism that way.


    Yeah its not really under my control who I love its not conscious. Its not like I can wake up and say "Hmmmm I think I am going fall in love this person today."


    Nooooo that would be really unfulfilling.


    Mass murder, cold blooded murder, rape and the like.

    Yes and yes

    How many ugly people can you think of that are married?

    Yes

    Yes


    Good snuggler
     
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    #10 Lucifer, Jul 11, 2010
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  11. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYNYb30nxU"]YouTube- The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love[/ame]
     
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  12. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?

    Yes, but it's something people usually have to have experience and think over before fully recognizing what it is. I feel lucky for being naturally wise---yet, that makes me feel so OLD!! :p So in some ways, I'm not willing to go through normal sh** that other people have to go through at a young age before settling. In some ways, I'm just willing to settle (or at least have long, fruitful relationships).

    Do you believe love holds power? (Heart is totes the coolest power ever :p)
    Man, YES!! There are many types of love but they all make life worth living. There's nothing as powerful, magical, and meaningful as love. You see, I search for meaning in everything I do, so love is naturally one factor.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    A LOT of power. I think love carries immense beauty---and it takes time for people to find what that true beauty is, not overwound or unbalanced by more superficial things. The core is masked in diversions. It does not exist on its own sake however. Love fades and grows depending on the two people in love. You create meaning in love, you make love love.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?

    Yes. I'm willing to risk myself. I've come to understand that the type of love I seek is the kind that requires taking large risks...that means total intimacy, total trust, total love, total loyalty. I know this might sound unrealistic to some people. But to me, that's what I really want and I'm convinced I'm going to find it and get it.

    Women, do you think you could love somthing that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)

    My first instinct would be no. However, if the outcome of that love has the potential to be something immense, I would do so. In order to grow fully (especially in love) you need to take those risks for the payback has a possibility of being greater. If not, you'd be stunting your own growth. :/

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?

    Nope, I don't think so. I like people that are chipped n quirky.

    What could you nott stand for, even in the name of love?

    All the nasty things that seem to exist in bounty in many relationships and supposedly labeled under "love": selfishness, lust-and-only-lust, weakness (as in remaining weak without even trying to become better), not being seen for who I really am as a person, cheating.

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?

    Hmmm...not really, at least for me. I can see how that would account for many, and most relationships. But may be I don't agree too much because even with relationships I tend to compromise with both my head and heart. If my heart flutters slightly, my mind might give "considerations." But if my head says "no", it's a definite "no." I only let myself like those who I know I can love (it's like killing weeds! lol :p). I tend to focus a lot on personality too---so I might technically be blind when in love, but I can't tell b/c i've rationalized things beforehand as a safety check.

    To appearence?
    In the beginning, I'm assuming most people are NOT blind to appearance. It's the attraction factor to most. But after a certain point, I guess we fall so much in love that we don't scrutinize the other person's flaws as much. If a person's great in personality, I'm usually kind of blind to appearance as a whole from the beginning. :)

    To status? To wealth?
    I think I would be--however there's a limit. If I feel like a person is not at least somewhat financially stable (decently) I might hesitate. When I consider being with someone, I unconsciously mean I can see myself with them in my future---that's why I'm investing myself in them. It's all circumstancial though. More than anything, it's about the person.


    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?

    Sweetness. God, makes me melt. Can't explain it...but the people who are just really "good" yet smart enough to protect their goodness. A very intriguing/smart mind is also ohh so irresistible! :m129:
     
    #12 yepunsarang, Jul 11, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2010
  13. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    (Disclaimer: I agreed with your post...but...I'm simply going off a tangent here.)
    There's the syndrome of falling in love with the idea of fallen in love.

    One thing that comes into my mind reading your post is that (as far as I'm seeing; maybe I'm simply cynical here) most people who're happy with their relationship REALLY tend (if not always) to see their love as "the True Love™", and their relationship, as The One That (will) Works.

    /random
    (another disclaimer : ...Ugh, I think I spoke too far. Apologies!)
     
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  14. Gaze

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    Yeah, feel the same. I'm not a game player - and not good at it even when i try, but most people seem to be into games; i'm just not a player ;). I don't expect tactless or blunt expression of love or feelings, but too much charm or hemming and hawing doesn't really cut it with me. When i make a committment i tend to stick with it, unless we're just not compatible and it's not working out for both of us.

    Agree. Loyalty is a big thing with me. If you're invested than be and act invested. If you're not, then don't lead me on just to spare my feelings. I'm a big girl, i can take it. Be honest about your feelings but be considerate as well. ;)

    Me too. Probably couldn't handle someone who is too perfect. I think i'd feel undeserving or not good enough. Or i feel as if i'd have to work extremely hard to be good enough, and i'd always be conscious that there was more i should be doing to do or be perfect enough to deserve the person in question.

    Yeah, if my partner always puts their needs before my own, especially if i put their needs before mine, then that's a problem.

    This^^^ especially. I always think and analyze to death the pros and cons, or possible consequences when i feel anything for anyone. Not that this doesn't mean it isn't possible to miss important things i.e. warning signs, but there's always a mental check to determine whether i'm heading off the deep end into something that's not moving in the right direction or being pursued for the wrong reasons, or something i'm not ready for or prepared to handle (although i may think i am). Unfortunately, this leads to a lot of self doubt, not trusting myself very often, and never taking any risks for fear that things won't work out perfectly.
     
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    #14 Gaze, Jul 11, 2010
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  15. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    love is a natural drug, it makes everything better ;)
     
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  16. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Yes I do.

    Do you believe love holds power?
    I believe that all thought and feeling has weight and energy. I feel like love is a strong guiding force in people's lives, and that when under the persuasion of love, it can give a lot of power.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    It can't move mounts, as some songs would have you believe, but I think it can help you climb them. Love is very passionate, and people seem to achieve great things when they're overcome with passion.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?
    No. I don't think that it's something one can search for. Love just is. It's not hiding under a rock or in a deep cavern. It's just there should we choose to see it and feel it and express it. I believe love comes from within ourselves and when you love openly and freely, more of it comes your way. Romantic love is nice and all, but there's so much more that love can do for you than provide you with a companion.

    Women, do you think you could love somthing that could put you in danger?
    I don't think if you love something that is dangerous for you, that it's real love. It's more fascination, lust or obsession. It's not a true, pure and genuine love at all, even if you THINK it might be, or even if it sometimes feels that way. Anything that is based on love in it's purest form can't be dangerous.

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    I'm not sure. I suppose if the relationship was loving and respectful and fulfilling then perhaps. I'm not sure I'd want to be just a trophy, or be married to someone who I consider to be just a trophy.
    What could you nott stand for, even in the name of love?

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    There's a difference between being blind to someone's flaws and completely accepting that individual despite those flaws.

    To appearence?
    Appearance is subjective. What I find attractive in a mate may be completely different than what anyone else finds attractive in a mate. I may fall in love with someone who isn't considered beautiful according to society, but I may find them to be incredibly attracive.

    To status?
    Not necessarily. I couldn't imagine myself being in love with a lazy slob who doesn't take care of themselves or their environment. I couldn't love someone who doesn't respect themselves enough to make the best of what they have or to take care of themselves. Money, power and career don't mean very much in the long run, but I do find myself being more attractive to people of status or who have successful careers and who are ambitious and well kept.

    To wealth?
    For some people. Wealth doesn't mean a lot to me. I don't need a millionaire. These are all such external factors. If I can't deeply connect with someone on an emotional level and we don't share the same goals and values and ethics then it's not going to work no matter how rich the guy is.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?
    Intelligence and worldliness.
     
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  17. Odyne

    Odyne ===========
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    ooo, a love survey! :D

    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Yes, I do.

    Do you believe love holds power? (Heart is totes the coolest power ever :p)

    It holds the greatest of powers, I think.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    It can make someone very very happy and complete. It makes you realize that you are capable of a truly selfless act. It teaches you how to appreciate and care for others. It can drive you in life, and lights up passion in your heart. It simply makes you feel alive.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?
    No. Unfortunately, I am not. I have decided long ago that I will not waste my lifetime searching for it. If I am destined to ever meet a man that I will truly love, I won't push him away form me, but I will not go out of my way looking for him. For now, I want to build my life and better myself as a person.

    Women, do you think you could love something that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)
    something, i don't know how that can happen. Someone, I think the worst case scenario is a broken heart and an empty soul for eternity?

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?
    No.

    What could you nott stand for, even in the name of love?
    An abusive relationship. I would walk out the door like that!

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    To appearence? To status? To wealth?
    I don't know. Still figuring that one out.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?
    A truly kind man with a big heart and a grand soul. If I see someone so generous with his time and efforts to help people and truly truly wants to do good, I fall for him instantly. However, I know that finding such a man is almost close to impossible.


    btw, I love the movie Moulin Rouge. One of my favourites. =)
     
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  18. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

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    Do you believe in a thing called love?
    Yes. (I better)

    Do you believe love holds power?
    Oh yeah it does, in both good and evil ways.

    How much? seriously. What can it do and what can it not?
    It can bring a person to the absolute echelon of beauty, and it can drive one to murder. It can hold a serious amount of power.

    Are you willing to go out of your way to search for love?

    Big time. I am very conflicted over this and there is a lot to it, but yeah I have a huge drive to find love.

    Women, do you think you could love somthing that could put you in danger? (not necessarily physical)
    I'm a guy, but I am also gay so I am gonna answer this. Yes I do think it could put me in danger, it has put me in danger (of course that wasn't exactly love that did it, but it was something extremely similar to it).

    Could you keep a trophy wife/husband?

    If I actually loved them? yes.

    What could you not stand for, even in the name of love?
    I'm not sure I could exactly answer this, the question is too vauge and open.

    And do you REALLY think romantic love is blind?
    To appearence?

    For me, kinda.

    To status?
    For me, no.

    To wealth?
    For me, no.

    And for shits and giggles, what one specific quality in a potential romantic interest are you a sucker for?
    Physical beauty, bar none. And I really hate that about myself, but I truly can not control it.
     
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