[PUG] Looking for companionship for….what reasons?

Dont date, waste of time. Get through college and make some money, then worry about dating. You'll be where you are today in the same position except you wont be broke and worried about paying bills.

 

I've dated and here are the things I've learned.

1. If you are planning on moving out of the area for school, then dating will suck and be useless.
2. If you don't have a lot of time to spare for another person due to school or work then dating will suck and be useless.
3. If you aren't ready to commit to looking after the emotional difficulties of another person in addition to your own, then dating will suck and be useless.
4. You will hurt people once you realize any of the above three and you are currently engaged in dating.

For once, I'm with Billy. If you want to date for the experience while you are still in high school, then have at it. However, if you are only interested in a committed relationship, then hold off on it until you are done with school and sitting on a stable job. Most people who are in college date for sex, and most aren't interested in settling down until they are out of school.

The purpose of romantic relationships are similar to those of friendships, but only deeper and more committed.

 

What i'm telling you, is that Dating is a waste of time if you aren't prepared for it. Dating can lead to really really serious stuff, so its best to have your shit organized up front before you start. Otherwise you're wasting your and your SO's time. I didnt dodge either, I just ignored irrelevant questions hehe.

 

You prepare for dating by 1st not dating and figuring out your life. Or at least figuring out yourself enough to know what you bring to the table and what you expect.

2. Kids.

 

What dating is depends on what you want it to be. It can be fun or serious or more of a friendship. I think serious relationships before your done school are a bad idea, but hey some people like them...for some reason. You just have to be clear about what your getting into so there's no confusion.

 

totally, I think a strong understanding of what you each want out of a relationship is a must. Especially if its serious.

 

I'm too cheap to buy a fleshlight and I've exhausted all of the good free porn on the internet.

 

What gays dont have kids at all?

 

I'll speak from my experience. Some of the best advice I ever got was: "Don't date until you're out of high school." I was super sensitive as a young woman. My advice would be: "Don't date until you think you're ready to have your heart crushed into a billion pieces." Of course no one is really ready for that, but if it happened to me tomorrow, I think I might be able to get through it. I have a support system. I'm free to move if I feel like it. I'm not a vulnerable kid who relies completely on her parents (that's not a shot at the younger ones).

 

If you want to be in a seriously committed long-term relationship, it's pointless to expect anyone to shoulder your financial burden. It will never work out. Nobody is responsible for anyone else (unless you're a parent!).

Healthy/sane romantic relationships can also serve the purpose of being another emotional and psychological support system. A good partner is also a good friend. I don't think the purpose of a romantic relationship is to procreate. The purpose is to add to the enjoyment of one's life. Overall, it should be a therapeutic thing. I understand there is conflict in every relationship but overall, if being involved is too stressful and unfulfilling then it's time to get out.

I don't think people should get involved romantically if they are unhappy overall with their life, and looking for someone to "give their life meaning" or purpose or to "find their other half" and all that other co-dependant platitudinous non-sense. When a person is content with their situation, self-sufficient, and is able to enjoy other people without needing to manipulate others for their own satisfaction, then if they are interested in a relationship it's a good idea.

As far as for what duration of time? Depends on how long the relationship stays healthy and fulfilling... I don't have an answer.

 

There is no right time.

There is no such thing as the perfect time.

Postponing dating and experiencing life all together is basically like saying "One day..."

"One day people will understand, one day I will be happy, one day I will be ready to date, one day I will be rich, one day I will understand, one day my kids will be good, one day my wife will this, one day my husband will that. One day, one day, one day."

That doesn't exist.

If that imaginary finish line doesn't exist, why wait all together?

I think it's bullshit when people say after school, after college, after your job, after you understand, after your bachelors, after your masters, after your vacation, after your doctorates, after your mansion, after your yatcht, after you solve dark matter, after, after, after.

Same shit, different smell.

I think people say that because since they got hurt, humiliated or whatever they try to avoid those feelings and pain at all costs. Yeah nobody wants to get hurt or feel bad, but we are humans, we live and learn. Trying to cut off the bad feelings is like trying to remove the ying out of the yang (that's a different story) ...

 

While I don't necessarily disagree with seizing the day.. I do think that putting your personal goals first over getting into a relationship is important. People need to take care of themselves, first and foremost. What good are you to anyone if you're not content in yourself? Achieving your goals isn't always a hiding mechanism. I think it's a good idea to make your own happiness and then share it with others.

It's so important to be ready for a relationship, to have no regrets and doubts about what you "could have done."

 

I would say a serious relationship consists of more emotional support(financial to but im still relying on my parents), and a casual one you agree not to expect that. What your looking for really depends on where you are in your life, and who you are, so if you agree on what kind of relationship you want your likely in similar spaces and more likely to work out.

If you agree on a casual relationship then you'll probably still talk and open up to each other the way you would with any friend, but you have an understanding that neither of you want to be relied on to heavily, and in my experience there's no hard feelings when someone needs space.

If you both need a lot of support in whatever way then both people will expect their partner to always be there when they need them, and this needs to be reciprocated. If at any point one of them doesn't want the responsibility for someones feeling anymore then that sucks and that's when it ends, but it helps to know what your getting into.
dating is the same as any relationship in terms of the connection you make with the person. The real difference is that your agreeing on some level of commitment to each other, and when it ends its official and bound to be a bigger deal then losing touch with a friend, so ground rules are needed.
and sex...sex is another major difference