Long Term Relationships | INFJ Forum

Long Term Relationships

5r6jhd

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Have you been in a long term relationship? Are you currently in a long term relationship? How have you found your serious adult relationships? Rough patches are inevitable. How do you/did you determine a rough patch vs. better off letting go of a relationship?

Tell me your experiences.
 
Interesting no one has replied.

serious adult relationship
I feel offended.
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Keeping it interesting has always been a problem. Finding a common interest that is exciting is probably the main problem. That and not wanting children.
 
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Have you been in a long term relationship? Are you currently in a long term relationship? How have you found your serious adult relationships? Rough patches are inevitable. How do you/did you determine a rough patch vs. better off letting go of a relationship?

Tell me your experiences.

I was in a long term relationship that ended in June last year, when I discovered my wife's infidelity. I think mostly people who "skip" from one relationship to another etc, or have affairs etc usually have deep seated issues.

Personally I think the benefits of putting in the work (and to me that's what's necessary) and being committed are worth the effort. But it takes balance, and honest communication. And old fashioned though it may sound, love.

It's up to everyone to decide for themselves. I would have been very unlikely to end my marriage, as for me once you commit, that's that. If I'm honest though, for the most part I'm now quite a lot happier, which at times has made me feel guilty.

Relationships are complex, I hadn't fully realised before this how much impact on children, their parents behaviors can have. Oddly I think my ex modelled or learned a lot of her behavior from her father's. I certainly hope our children don't follow suit, and copy her pattern of behavior.

I feel, I would be much more careful in future. I was young and one mistake has cost me more than 20 years. In hindsight all the warning signs were there.
 
I was in a long term relationship that ended in June last year, when I discovered my wife's infidelity. I think mostly people who "skip" from one relationship to another etc, or have affairs etc usually have deep seated issues.
Infidelity would be an instant end for me as well. I also agree with you on people who jump straight into relationships without giving any or much thought to the possible negative outcome. I believe you must go through a lot of soul searching before you're able to be in a happy, healthy long lasting relationship.

Personally I think the benefits of putting in the work (and to me that's what's necessary) and being committed are worth the effort. But it takes balance, and honest communication. And old fashioned though it may sound, love.
"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." Maya Angelou

It's up to everyone to decide for themselves. I would have been very unlikely to end my marriage, as for me once you commit, that's that. If I'm honest though, for the most part I'm now quite a lot happier, which at times has made me feel guilty.
From what you've mentioned I don't see where you had any choice. That being said, you wouldn't be human if you didn't have any feelings, guilt or otherwise. The guilt will fade away in time.

Relationships are complex, I hadn't fully realised before this how much impact on children, their parents behaviors can have. Oddly I think my ex modelled or learned a lot of her behavior from her father's. I certainly hope our children don't follow suit, and copy her pattern of behavior.
Likewise for my children as well. They're the reason I walked away.

I feel, I would be much more careful in future. I was young and one mistake has cost me more than 20 years. In hindsight all the warning signs were there.
If you have children then you did not make a mistake. My warning signs were there early on as well, however I wouldn't go back in time and change a thing.
 
i've talked about this with a member in discord. coz i never believed in it. i doubt there's a 100% guarantee someone will stay long(er) than we want to. (and no i'm not being negative or pessimistic about it, just reality check) some are just meant to pass and teach us a lesson. part of life. best we appreciate all those who come/passed, may it be good or bad, we grow from it.
 
Have you been in a long term relationship? Are you currently in a long term relationship? How have you found your serious adult relationships? Rough patches are inevitable. How do you/did you determine a rough patch vs. better off letting go of a relationship?

Tell me your experiences.
I have never had a long term relationship. I have way too much to get done.

I want to start my own business one day or have a highly-ranked professional position, to me, chasing love is a time-comsuming fantasy.

I believe that if my achievements are great then a suitable match will come to me.

You always wake up to yourself, whoever you're with. The decision to take control of one's life is a declaration of war.

All obstacles must be mercilessly destroyed.
 
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I have never had a long term relationship. I have way too much to get done.

I want to start my own business one day or have a highly-ranked professional position, to me, chasing love is a time-comsuming fantasy.

I believe that if my achievements are great then a suitable match will come to me.

You always wake up to yourself, whoever you're with. The decision to take control of one's life is a declaration of war.

All obstacles must be mercilessly destroyed.

This is a GREAT post!

Good luck to you! What kind of a business would you like to start?

I think what I bolded of your text is something that causes me great anxiety. I look to find the relationship first because the notable achievements have to be delayed.
 
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This is a GREAT post!

Good luck to you! What kind of a business would you like to start?

I think what I bolded of your text is something that causes me great anxiety. I look to find the relationship first because the notable achievements have to be delayed.
I can't tell you the specific idea but I will tell you that the business will be a valuable addition to the service sector economy.
 
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My parents … From what I understand, they just carry on. One time my Dad hinted at divorce to me because he was really tired of something, but it really was just a passing thought. My parents overcome things together. I'm thankful for their example.