Loaded Questions | INFJ Forum

Loaded Questions

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Trifoilum, Dec 14, 2016.

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  1. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    What is wrong with people asking loaded questions and saying loaded statements?

    And how do you deal with these kind of people?

    (I'm waiting for someone to call me out on the irony)


     
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  2. sassafras

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    What's wrong with loaded questions?

    They're typically ignorant and loaded with presupposition of fact with the intent of either manipulating an opinion or getting a rise out of a person.

    How do you disarm the question? With a flat statement of fact.
     
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  3. OP
    Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    *claps*

    But what about the people who are so convinced they are right / their facts are immaculate truth ?
     
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  4. sassafras

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    What makes you so sure you're right and they're wrong?

    Everything in life is perspective. Some people are open to new perspectives. Some people are closed to them. Someone with an open mind welcomes new perspectives. Someone with a closed mind does not.

    And people close their minds for lots of reasons. Sometimes it's because they dont respect or trust the person speaking to them. Sometimes it's because they need their perspective to be true to preserve some delicate part of their psyche.

    No matter how much you huff and puff and try to reason someone into considering something from your point of view, you generally can't open a closed mind that is resistant to other people's perspectives and/or influences.
     
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  5. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    Say what is true, then move on. If people aren't willing to, you don't need to waste your time
    convincing people of anything. You don't owe anyone a damned thing. You need to know how
    much it is worth having the conversation you're having. If dealing with a particular difficult person
    is worth everything else he/she offers, then you might have to deal with it.
     
  6. OP
    Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    How do you know about this, though?

    Personally, the most i manage to consider is whether whether my effort will bore fruit, and whether if I'm healthy enough to have this conversation.
     
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  7. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    It is up to you what someone is worth. Many people would put up with random strangers or
    people they don't know that well simply because they fear social backlash.
     
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  8. WonkyOracle

    WonkyOracle Permanent Fixture

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    Just some tips from personal experience.

    1, stay cool.
    2, reframe the question
    3, always, be honest in your reply.

    So, in my own experience, I wouldn't rush into an answer. I'm not in school anymore so I seldom feel the need to snap the answers as quick as possible. Slow the pace down to a level I'm comfortable with. If by loaded question you mean something accusatory ( which has often been my experience ) then reframe it. Answer with honesty.

    By doing those three things, you Slow down the ambush, you avoid the trap and deal in honesty...which is a high currency..

    It's essentially a chess move, they're trying to corner you. So move out of the corner, drag them into the middle of broad daylight and be honest.

    If it's a debate setting then I've no idea, I detest debates as I've no time for them.

    My experience was based on 7 years of mind games by 3 very toxic people who tried to have me sacked. Being young and full of ideas they saw me as a threat, so they tried to frame me on all sorts of shit. Loaded questions was their main weapon.

    Hope that helps, if not you, then somebody else.

    I got schooled in Workplace politics/bullying so hard I should have a masters in both.

    Anyways, that's enough of that.
     
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  9. OP
    Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    What would be your standard, if I may ask?
     
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  10. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    This is too vague for me to answer.
     
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  11. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    In reference to a nasty situation earlier this year: I knew I was right because I had screen shots. Lol petty, I know.

    Carry on~
     
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  12. Jet

    Jet The Token Extravert

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    That ain't petty...that's prepared!
     
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  13. WonkyOracle

    WonkyOracle Permanent Fixture

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    Although to be serious, acting with integrity is always a bonus. Refraining from getting into the mud and standing your ground is just all round classy, although it can take time to master, because the urge to rub your opponents face in it is a strong one. Just as a side note, I've noticed a slight change in the recent years, where people are no longer allowed to be wrong about something, if they are then they are '' exposed '' and '' debunked '' it's why I can't be bothered with debates as they are just pissing contests.

    But anyway that's all I gotta offer in this particular thread.
     
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  14. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Loaded questions allow a question to be asked, while at the same time giving a sense of the stance the person asking has.

    How do you deal with them?
    You can answer the question, or redefine the question to be the one you want to answer.

    Eg.
    Q: Why are you so biased?
    A: Why is everyone so biased?... because people generally form their opinions over time, according to their life experiences. You can't expect people to make up their mind on the spot, based soley on what you're telling them for the most part. Of course, bias about people we don't personally know is not reasonable, but pretending one isn't biased is more dangerous, than being aware of one's biases, and consciously giving them null weight in considerations.
     
    #14 Flavus Aquila, Dec 14, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2016
  15. Jet

    Jet The Token Extravert

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    In theory this is good ... but in practice, online especially, if you can calmly deliver cold hard evidence of someone being in the wrong it can work wonders to put bullies in their place. Or the person will actually be an adult about it, admit their error and the community benefits as a whole from getting all the festering puss out.
     
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  16. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    People in high positions who are put in a position to speak publicly are given this advice.
     
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  17. sassafras

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    Mmm. Yes. This community has really shaped that perspective (and has spoiled me in this respect) as I've never gotten into a disagreement with someone here where it hasn't turned out for the better or at least, clarified things.

    Elsewhere online... ooohh. No. The 'adult' part of that equation is severely lacking. If there is no community and anonymity exists, the spiteful child in people often comes out to play. There is no social backlash. Some people even egg on close-minded idiocy.

    I think that a sound argument and calmness is important when you're dealing with bullies, but presence counts for much. In many cases, being calm and firm in your stance is enough. But if the person doesn't respect you, doesn't have a reason to care, or is in full kamikaze mode, you can be as calm and rational as you'd like but you're going to be tilting at windmills. In which case, I agree with @ruji. You need to consider what the discussion in question is worth to you.
     
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  18. WonkyOracle

    WonkyOracle Permanent Fixture

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    Agreed, I was coming from a real life point of view. Internet drama is just, meh... Out of all the things a troll could be doing with their life, they choose to stir shit on the internet... It's beneath contempt, to be honest.

    I'll let thranduil sum it up.


    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I think it works for everyone. If you have something to say, sometimes you need to push for enough conceptual space to say it in your own terms.
     
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  20. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    No, it only works for the elite. The plebs have to answer the question no matter what.
     
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