[INFJ] Limerence

[Pyrrhula]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Are we more prone to it? Due to the way our Ni and Ti work?

I felt it recently. Although it was nice to feel truly interested in someone for a change, without questioning my feelings or wondering why I had none, it was horrendously traumatic.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

A vaguely related discussion:

http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31289&p=877195&viewfull=1#post877195

 

[dang]

I fantasize a lot about a lot of different things including girls. So yes, I seem to be guilty of this concept. But I usually am aware that it is mostly in my head. I think stalkers start with it, and then it becomes delusion. Therefore the relationship becomes real in their heads. They can imagine their crush fantasizing about them (projection), which is probably not accurate.

 

[Pyrrhula]

A vaguely related discussion:

http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31289&p=877195&viewfull=1#post877195

Ah, thank you!

 

[Pyrrhula]

Is limerence the same as the "spark". I'm guessing probably not. As I think you can feel a connection with someone but not become obsessed!

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Is limerence the same as the "spark". I'm guessing probably not. As I think you can feel a connection with someone but not become obsessed!

Intensely excited interest, with somatic responses is diagnostic in me. There is also an element of imagining future possibilities/plans.

I'm guessing the interest element is Ni, which in my case spills into planning futures Te, and emotional/somatic effects Fi.

 

[invisible]

Is this the same as "crush"? (Not being facetious, just something I've been wondering)

 

[Pyrrhula]

I really don't know. I read this:

http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/broken-heart/is-it-a-big-crush-or-limerence

I didn't daydream about saving him, which is described as limerence. I daydreamed about doing coupley/boring stuff! However, I also wasn't so bothered about sex with him. I wanted emotions from him. His reciprocation (or lack of) affected my mood - that is true. And I felt somewhat crazy.

 

[just me]

Why do we single someone out in a room full of people and fail to approach? Then, can't stop noticing them. Humble pie, perhaps?

 

[Pyrrhula]

Why do we single someone out in a room full of people and fail to approach? Then, can't stop noticing them. Humble pie, perhaps?

We, as in INFJ? I guess one of the main reasons not to approach someone is that they might already be taken, and people who already have partners still like to look at and flirt with others. We don't want to look like a fool!


With regard to the limerence.... I'm wondering if what I experienced was just normal infatuation that sometimes happens at the beginning of a relationship. That, as far as I know, is normal and can actually help keep two people together prior to them developing deeper feelings.

 

[just me]

If we are already taken, we still can have those moments of connection with others we choose not to pursue. I think, in a healthy relationship, this would either not happen or happen much less.

When both are available, it could be a real tie breaker. They say straws break camels' backs. Maybe some cross the line when they cannot take it any longer? How can such a feeling stay platonic?