Ladies : Taken men are the best? | INFJ Forum

Ladies : Taken men are the best?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Trifoilum, Oct 13, 2010.

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  1. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17619-its-true-all-the-taken-men-are-best.html

    What do you think? Would you really cut a bitch for a taken man?
    Men, offer your perspectives too :D The title was made so because the article does specify women as the target.

    And offer me a little personal analysis, please; Honestly I found the...report mentally quite..surprising, quite OMG-inducing to swallow, but more surprisingly is the fact that I accept the report more......serene, compared to the Ladder Theory. It's only, "oh. That's surprising." Is this related to the suggestion that the Ladder Theory is a theory and this is an official report? Or that Ladder Theory is more...appalling compared to this?
     
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  2. Gaze

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    I would add an anonymous poll . . . just sayin' :m052:
     
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  3. Wyote

    Wyote (#/-\[]$ ([]`/[]'|'[-
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    I discovered this in Jr. High. At the time I thought it was a phase for girls, but it's just how they are. Hah.
     
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  4. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Its kinda interesting when these things are turned on the ladies. It seems us men aren't the only ones to have such issues.
     
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  5. Gaze

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    Well, for one, men in relationships are considered more stable than those who are single, although it's not necessarily true. There's also the feeling that someone in a relationship knows how to handle and manage a relationship more effectively than those who are not involved. Women may feel they are more trustworthy and more committed. Also, people in relationships, especially if the relationship is going well, often much happier, have a more confident and positive demeanor, which would be attractive to many. They often seem more settled and relaxed, which are desirable qualities in a mate. So, yeah, makes sense.
     
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  6. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Now see if this was about men. We would be called dogs and so on. Somtimes these paradigms are treated differently for men.
     
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  7. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Oh nice, you said half my post for me, I shall add my bit then, to make the men and women feel better:
    What this doesn't mean though is that a women will do that bitchy thing and be automaticly more prone to man stealing. We veiw the taken men as better, but it doesn't mean we'll steal them. Just like we won't steal money from others, rob a jewlery store etc. Internal ideas or desires do not automatically lead to actions. Though I wouldn't doubt the thing said about American women being conditioned or living in an envinornment that tells them to do this.
     
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  8. NeverAmI

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    Yea, this exactly. It is sort of like employment too. You are going to look for someone with a steady work history before someone that doesn't currently have a job. Not saying that is always the case or that the inference is always sound, but it is statistically probable to an extent.

    Oh, and most people want what they 'cannot have' or some see it as a challenge or ego boost if they succeed in achieving them.

    Stability, leadership, and a proven record can definitely have their appeal.
     
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  9. Gaze

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    One thing which is especially attractive in "taken" men are that they seem more comfortable with themselves, sometimes much more honest because (they feel they have nothing to lose since they are already involved), are sometimes much nicer or more open because they may feel content in their relationships - and feel they don't have to worry about impressing anyone, so they may show themselves a little more, because they've made their committments and may not feel the need to present a perfect image. When they're happy with who they're with, feel less restricted - often more truthful and honest about what they want or like; more direct. They tend to know what they want and feel less inclined to care as much about what others think outside of those they care about since they may feel confident that they have what they want with their partner.
     
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    #9 Gaze, Oct 13, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
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  10. slant

    slant M O U L T I N G
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    DAMNIT I read about this somewhere about the scientific reason for this....
     
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  11. Faye

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    Well that is depressing.

    Interesting though.

    It makes me feel like women are totally different animals from men.
     
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  12. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    Yes it's a known fact that all the ladies want me.

    :m027:
     
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  13. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    Personally, I can meet An amazing guy that's everything I want, but the moment that I find out that he's taken (which is the case 99.5% of the time), I just simply move on; my interest in him evaporates.
     
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  14. Odyne

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    This. I have never had my eye on a man that I knew was taken.
    Even if he's fantastic, he's with another woman, and I'd never cross that line.
     
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  15. Gaze

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    I don't think the article is about the ethics of it, but more about why it happens. I don't think the point is really that it's ok or good to pursue someone in a relationship but to recognize what makes someone in that situation appealing, so that you know how to handle it if you do have that attraction.
     
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  16. Jill Hives

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    "Apart from the explanation of "pre-screening", another possibility, she says, is that in US society, women are socialised to be competitive, so they derive self-esteem by mate poaching from rival women."

    To be quite honest, I am relatively positive in most cases in which this happens, this is the exact reason whether it is subconscious or consciously. It's a big self esteem boost when a guy who is in a happy relationship decides "hey, this other woman is better!" Which then leaves the "other woman" basking in her victory over the obviously inferior mate.

    Catty bitches.

    I'm totally not bitter or anything.... >_>
     
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  17. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    That's a reasonable explanation, though I've never followed that line of thought or experienced attraction to individuals already involved in a relationship, with or without my knowledge of their status.
     
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  18. whynot

    whynot Newbie

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    i agree that this is the main reason it happens... and it's a little disturbing. i would never cross that line, but to each his (her) own, i suppose. i know many girls that have done this... and it's consistently been an issue of self esteem. i've also lost friendships b/c they've done this to another close friend and i honestly don't have the capacity to be around, let alone trust, "friends" like that. i am, however, curious as to the other reasons this happens, besides the ones already mentioned.
     
  19. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    You have to keep in mind though, can you trust a man who is easily persuaded into dropping his current mate for another? I'd be wary of a guy who does this without obvious dificientcies in his mate (she's abusive or the love is gone) since he might just move on from you just as fast when he finds someone else better. Yet, this is a natural and expected part of dating. You can't expect everyone to only be aware of better mates when they are single, and that they have to be completely detacted from their mate before having interest in another. However, if the other woman is the only reason they leave the relationship I'd be concerned.
    Certainly doesn't matter if it's casual dating, though.
     
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  20. kita

    kita <font color=#990066>Regular Poster</font>

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    90% of single women in university are "interested in pursuing a relationship" with an attached man? I don't believe it.

    I think there was some kind of bias happening in this study. I went to college and maybe 1/20 women I knew there would do this.
     
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