Ladies : Taken men are the best?

[Trifoilum]

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17619-its-true-all-the-taken-men-are-best.html

Women: do you have a man? If you do, better beware. Chances are that some lone female has her eye on him.
A new study provides evidence for what many have long suspected: that single women are much keener on pursuing a man who's already taken than a singleton.
"The single women really, really liked the guy when he was taken," says Melissa Burkley of Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, who conducted the "mate-poaching" study with her colleague Jessica Parker.
They asked 184 heterosexual students at the university to participate in a study on sexual attraction and told the volunteers that a computer program would match them with an ideal partner. Half the participants were single and half attached, with equal numbers of men and women in each group.
Meet Mr Right

Unknown to the participants, everyone was offered a fictitious candidate partner who had been tailored to match their interests exactly. The photograph of "Mr Right" was the same for all women participants, as was that of the ideal women presented to the men. Half the participants were told their ideal mate was single, and the other half that he or she was already in a romantic relationship.
"Everything was the same across all participants, except whether their ideal mate was already attached or not," says Burkley.
The most striking result was in the responses of single women. Offered a single man, 59 per cent were interested in pursuing a relationship. But when he was attached, 90 per cent said they were up for the chase.
Men were keenest on pursuing new mates, but weren't bothered whether their target was already attached or not. Attached women showed least interest and were slightly more drawn to single men.
Stamp of approval

Burkley and Parker speculate that single women may be more drawn to attached men because they've already been "pre-screened" by other women and found to be satisfactory as a mate, whereas single men are more of an unknown quantity.
Burkely said that similar mate-poaching strategies have been reported in birds and fish. But previous studies of people had only asked whether participants found other potential partners attractive, so she designed hers to specifically probe whether participants would pursue a relationship.
"The next question is why," says Burkley. So in further studies, she plans to further explore women's motives for pursuing "taken" partners. Apart from the explanation of "pre-screening", another possibility, she says, is that in US society, women are socialised to be competitive, so they derive self-esteem by mate poaching from rival women.
Other researchers say the study provides interesting insights into mate poaching. "It tells us something about the role of social desirability in mate preference," says Fhionna Moore of the University of Abertay Dundee, UK, whose own research has shown that richer women are more choosy about mates.

What do you think? Would you really cut a bitch for a taken man?
Men, offer your perspectives too The title was made so because the article does specify women as the target.

And offer me a little personal analysis, please; Honestly I found the...report mentally quite..surprising, quite OMG-inducing to swallow, but more surprisingly is the fact that I accept the report more......serene, compared to the Ladder Theory. It's only, "oh. That's surprising." Is this related to the suggestion that the Ladder Theory is a theory and this is an official report? Or that Ladder Theory is more...appalling compared to this?

 

[Gaze]

I would add an anonymous poll . . . just sayin'

 

[Wyote]

I discovered this in Jr. High. At the time I thought it was a phase for girls, but it's just how they are. Hah.

 

[Blind Bandit]

I discovered this in Jr. High. At the time I thought it was a phase for girls, but it's just how they are. Hah.

Its kinda interesting when these things are turned on the ladies. It seems us men aren't the only ones to have such issues.

 

[Gaze]

Well, for one, men in relationships are considered more stable than those who are single, although it's not necessarily true. There's also the feeling that someone in a relationship knows how to handle and manage a relationship more effectively than those who are not involved. Women may feel they are more trustworthy and more committed. Also, people in relationships, especially if the relationship is going well, often much happier, have a more confident and positive demeanor, which would be attractive to many. They often seem more settled and relaxed, which are desirable qualities in a mate. So, yeah, makes sense.

 

[Blind Bandit]

Well, for one, men in relationships are considered more stable than those who are single, although it's not necessarily true. There's also the feeling that someone in a relationship knows how to handle and manage a relationship more effectively than those who are not involved. Women may feel they are more trustworthy and more committed. Also, people in relationships, especially if the relationship is going well, often much happier, have a more confident and positive demeanor, which would be attractive to many. They often seem more settled and relaxed, which are desirable qualities in a mate. So, yeah, makes sense.

Now see if this was about men. We would be called dogs and so on. Somtimes these paradigms are treated differently for men.

 

[DoveAlexa]

Well, for one, men in relationships are considered more stable than those who are single, although it's not necessarily true. There's also the feeling that someone in a relationship knows how to handle and manage a relationship more effectively than those who are not involved. Women may feel they are more trustworthy and more committed. Also, people in relationships, especially if the relationship is going well, often much happier, have a more confident and positive demeanor, which would be attractive to many. They often seem more settled and relaxed, which are desirable qualities in a mate. So, yeah, makes sense.

Oh nice, you said half my post for me, I shall add my bit then, to make the men and women feel better:
What this doesn't mean though is that a women will do that bitchy thing and be automaticly more prone to man stealing. We veiw the taken men as better, but it doesn't mean we'll steal them. Just like we won't steal money from others, rob a jewlery store etc. Internal ideas or desires do not automatically lead to actions. Though I wouldn't doubt the thing said about American women being conditioned or living in an envinornment that tells them to do this.

 

[NeverAmI]

Well, for one, men in relationships are considered more stable than those who are single, although it's not necessarily true. There's also the feeling that someone in a relationship knows how to handle and manage a relationship more effectively than those who are not involved. Women may feel they are more trustworthy and more committed. Also, people in relationships, especially if the relationship is going well, often much happier, have a more confident and positive demeanor, which would be attractive to many. They often seem more settled and relaxed, which are desirable qualities in a mate. So, yeah, makes sense.

Yea, this exactly. It is sort of like employment too. You are going to look for someone with a steady work history before someone that doesn't currently have a job. Not saying that is always the case or that the inference is always sound, but it is statistically probable to an extent.

Oh, and most people want what they 'cannot have' or some see it as a challenge or ego boost if they succeed in achieving them.

Stability, leadership, and a proven record can definitely have their appeal.

 

[Gaze]

One thing which is especially attractive in "taken" men are that they seem more comfortable with themselves, sometimes much more honest because (they feel they have nothing to lose since they are already involved), are sometimes much nicer or more open because they may feel content in their relationships - and feel they don't have to worry about impressing anyone, so they may show themselves a little more, because they've made their committments and may not feel the need to present a perfect image. When they're happy with who they're with, feel less restricted - often more truthful and honest about what they want or like; more direct. They tend to know what they want and feel less inclined to care as much about what others think outside of those they care about since they may feel confident that they have what they want with their partner.

 

[slant]

DAMNIT I read about this somewhere about the scientific reason for this....

 

[Faye]

Well that is depressing.

Interesting though.

It makes me feel like women are totally different animals from men.

 

[Quinlan]

Yes it's a known fact that all the ladies want me.

 

[jyrffw54]

Personally, I can meet An amazing guy that's everything I want, but the moment that I find out that he's taken (which is the case 99.5% of the time), I just simply move on; my interest in him evaporates.

 

[Odyne]

Personally, I can meet An amazing guy that's everything I want, but the moment that I find out that he's taken (which is the case 99.5% of the time), I just simply move on; my interest in him evaporates.

This. I have never had my eye on a man that I knew was taken.
Even if he's fantastic, he's with another woman, and I'd never cross that line.

 

[Gaze]

Personally, I can meet An amazing guy that's everything I want, but the moment that I find out that he's taken (which is the case 99.5% of the time), I just simply move on; my interest in him evaporates.

This. I have never had my eye on a man that I knew was taken.
Even if he's fantastic, he's with another woman, and I'd never cross that line.

I don't think the article is about the ethics of it, but more about why it happens. I don't think the point is really that it's ok or good to pursue someone in a relationship but to recognize what makes someone in that situation appealing, so that you know how to handle it if you do have that attraction.

 

[Jill Hives]

"Apart from the explanation of "pre-screening", another possibility, she says, is that in US society, women are socialised to be competitive, so they derive self-esteem by mate poaching from rival women."

To be quite honest, I am relatively positive in most cases in which this happens, this is the exact reason whether it is subconscious or consciously. It's a big self esteem boost when a guy who is in a happy relationship decides "hey, this other woman is better!" Which then leaves the "other woman" basking in her victory over the obviously inferior mate.

Catty bitches.

I'm totally not bitter or anything.... >_>

 

[Peppermint]

Burkley and Parker speculate that single women may be more drawn to attached men because they've already been "pre-screened" by other women and found to be satisfactory as a mate, whereas single men are more of an unknown quantity.

That's a reasonable explanation, though I've never followed that line of thought or experienced attraction to individuals already involved in a relationship, with or without my knowledge of their status.

 

[whynot]

"Apart from the explanation of "pre-screening", another possibility, she says, is that in US society, women are socialised to be competitive, so they derive self-esteem by mate poaching from rival women."

To be quite honest, I am relatively positive in most cases in which this happens, this is the exact reason whether it is subconscious or consciously. It's a big self esteem boost when a guy who is in a happy relationship decides "hey, this other woman is better!" Which then leaves the "other woman" basking in her victory over the obviously inferior mate.

Catty bitches.

I'm totally not bitter or anything.... >_>

i agree that this is the main reason it happens... and it's a little disturbing. i would never cross that line, but to each his (her) own, i suppose. i know many girls that have done this... and it's consistently been an issue of self esteem. i've also lost friendships b/c they've done this to another close friend and i honestly don't have the capacity to be around, let alone trust, "friends" like that. i am, however, curious as to the other reasons this happens, besides the ones already mentioned.

 

[DoveAlexa]

You have to keep in mind though, can you trust a man who is easily persuaded into dropping his current mate for another? I'd be wary of a guy who does this without obvious dificientcies in his mate (she's abusive or the love is gone) since he might just move on from you just as fast when he finds someone else better. Yet, this is a natural and expected part of dating. You can't expect everyone to only be aware of better mates when they are single, and that they have to be completely detacted from their mate before having interest in another. However, if the other woman is the only reason they leave the relationship I'd be concerned.
Certainly doesn't matter if it's casual dating, though.

 

[kita]

90% of single women in university are "interested in pursuing a relationship" with an attached man? I don't believe it.

I think there was some kind of bias happening in this study. I went to college and maybe 1/20 women I knew there would do this.