Kindly not being friends with someone any more.....

[jupiterswoon]

Is there an easy way to stop being friends with someone who isn't good friend material for you? Is there some kind of way to let them down and stop receiving invitations to hang out with them? I will write my own issue as a response, but just generally I'm looking for people's past experiences and for more optimal ways to stop doing this without A) Being rude or sounding like a jerk B) Causing only minimal drama within the circle of friends.

Is it possible not to door slam someone completely, and still be neutral, without being the person's friend?

How would it be best to approach dealing with them in a social situation?

 

[Eventhorizon]

Ah..... great question. A long time ago I had a group of friends or at least people I hung out with. We pretty much hung out constantly and then at some point this other guy showed up. I being copacetic thought little of it but over a short amount of time began to realize he irritated me. It wasnt that he was a bad person, he just rubbed me the wrong way. He thought he was my friend, to this day I dont know why.

In the end, I decided to leave him to the gang and I left. It was ok, we were all getting older anyway and it was time for me to stop doing most of what I was doing anyway.

 

[barbad0s]

Slowly fade away physically and emotionally. Spend more time doing other things and less time thinking about them. Have excuses to gradually decline more and more of their invitations.

 

[say what]

I'm terrible at this...but I tend to just "ignore" them ... "oh I didn't get that text!" ... "oh my facebook messenger is working" .... "ooooh, I didn't know that was you saying hi to me"

Or I just stop attending their functions...

This does make social settings a bit awkward.

In fact...you know what...I'm not going to give advice because I don't know how to do this.... I need to read this thread to learn how!

 

[invisible]

i just say sorry, im so busy at the moment, but i hope youre doing well.

 

[Stu]

unless you tell them straight up that you don't want to hang around them, and give them the reason, they are more than likely going to assume you are talking shit about them behind their backs' as you pull away from them but not any mutual friends.

But if you just drop the whole group you can be sure the individual will not care, unless they have a thing for you

 

[Faye]

Basically do what [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] said and be prepared for the inevitable guilt trip that they'll lay on you.

The alternative, telling them you don't want to be friends, will definitely be taken as rude and hurt their feelings.

 

[Eventhorizon]

unless you tell them straight up that you don't want to hang around them, and give them the reason, they are more than likely going to assume you are talking shit about them behind their backs' as you pull away from them but not any mutual friends.

But if you just drop the whole group you can be sure the individual will not care, unless they have a thing for you

Dropping the group is a highly radical move and isnt suggested if you have any good friends in it. In my case there were things going on I did not agree with and that I felt would be better I was away from anyway. It turns out no one really noticed my absence anyway sooo... no harm done it seems.