Just wondering if this is normal | INFJ Forum

Just wondering if this is normal

Stella

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Sep 19, 2010
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I'm an INFJ. It describes me pretty well, I'd say.

I'm just wondering if my fellow INFJs experience the following in any way, or if it's just me being strange.

  • I have to know "the plan," as I call it. If I don't know to expect, I get nervous. I have a habit of planning waaay into the future. For example, when I was a freshman in high school, I remember planning my schedule for junior year just after creating my sophomore year one.
  • I generalize things a lot. When I was a kid, I used "always" and "never" a ton. "You always make me do this!" "I never do that!" Now a days, and sometimes make generalizations about people.
  • I am somewhat opinionated. I have strong feelings towards political and social issues.
  • I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings. I am a member of a club. The president of said club doesn't listen to anyone and overtalks people. She is a great friend, but today I had to tell her she needs to stop overtalking. I felt terrible for telling her, even though it was true.
  • I need to feel needed and wanted.
  • I second guess myself often.
  • I sometimes feel like I have better ideas/my ideas are "more right" than others'. It does not make group work very easy, so I prefer to work alone. But, when in groups, I usually go along with the general consensus, even when I think it's a bad idea, so I don't cause trouble. This may just be me being a spoiled brat.
I've seen a few things similar to these feelings in descriptions of INFJs, but I just want to know first hand.

:m032:
 
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a) J-trait
b) N-trait
c) thats pretty universal
d) NF-trait, but still rather universal
e) Universal
f) universal
g) universal (and called "groupthink")

yes, all thats perfectly normal
 
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I am not an expert or anything by any means, but this sounds pretty spot on to me. Especially needing to know what to expect (I get crazy anxious and can be downright obnoxious to deal with when things are left with loose ends), and generalizing! I never thought of that aspect of my personality until you brought it up just now, but I can very much relate to that. I've pissed my husband off on more than one occasion by pulling that card. :m070:

And I can relate really well with everything else as well, those two just stuck out to me right now.
 
Welcome to an internet forum of people like you. Normal or not, I relate to all of that, especially the first one about needing "the plan".
 
These are two things I say constantly:

I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
A plan only lasts until the first shot

Plans drive me insane, and people that plan for life drive me crazy if they want me to plan along side them. I don't care if someone finds comfort in them, but I just see it as a huge waste of time thinking about what we will do for a 7th step before we even started on the 2nd one. One thing at a time, one thing after the other.
 
I need to feel needed and wanted
I hope you don't think that this is a bad thing. Its a way more fulfilling life purpose goal than money, power and fame. We are social creatures, and I think people who tell others that you're not a complete human being for this are both nihilists and just projecting their sadness, for not feeling needed and wanted, and resulting shame for having the thought, on others.
 
I hope you don't think that this is a bad thing. Its a way more fulfilling life purpose goal than money, power and fame. We are social creatures, and I think people who tell others that you're not a complete human being for this are both nihilists and just projecting their sadness, for not feeling needed and wanted, and resulting shame for having the thought, on others.

couldn't agree more
 
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I'm an INFJ. It describes me pretty well, I'd say.

I'm just wondering if my fellow INFJs experience the following in any way, or if it's just me being strange.

  • I have to know "the plan," as I call it. If I don't know to expect, I get nervous. I have a habit of planning waaay into the future. For example, when I was a freshman in high school, I remember planning my schedule for junior year just after creating my sophomore year one.
  • I generalize things a lot. When I was a kid, I used "always" and "never" a ton. "You always make me do this!" "I never do that!" Now a days, and sometimes make generalizations about people.
  • I am somewhat opinionated. I have strong feelings towards political and social issues.
  • I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings. I am a member of a club. The president of said club doesn't listen to anyone and overtalks people. She is a great friend, but today I had to tell her she needs to stop overtalking. I felt terrible for telling her, even though it was true.
  • I need to feel needed and wanted.
  • I second guess myself often.
  • I sometimes feel like I have better ideas/my ideas are "more right" than others'. It does not make group work very easy, so I prefer to work alone. But, when in groups, I usually go along with the general consensus, even when I think it's a bad idea, so I don't cause trouble. This may just be me being a spoiled brat.
I've seen a few things similar to these feelings in descriptions of INFJs, but I just want to know first hand.

:m032:

-YES
-YES
-YES
-YES
-YES
-YES
-AND YES
 
I'm an INFJ. It describes me pretty well, I'd say.

I'm just wondering if my fellow INFJs experience the following in any way, or if it's just me being strange.

  • I have to know "the plan," as I call it. If I don't know to expect, I get nervous. I have a habit of planning waaay into the future. For example, when I was a freshman in high school, I remember planning my schedule for junior year just after creating my sophomore year one.
  • I generalize things a lot. When I was a kid, I used "always" and "never" a ton. "You always make me do this!" "I never do that!" Now a days, and sometimes make generalizations about people.
  • I am somewhat opinionated. I have strong feelings towards political and social issues.
  • I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings. I am a member of a club. The president of said club doesn't listen to anyone and overtalks people. She is a great friend, but today I had to tell her she needs to stop overtalking. I felt terrible for telling her, even though it was true.
  • I need to feel needed and wanted.
  • I second guess myself often.
  • I sometimes feel like I have better ideas/my ideas are "more right" than others'. It does not make group work very easy, so I prefer to work alone. But, when in groups, I usually go along with the general consensus, even when I think it's a bad idea, so I don't cause trouble. This may just be me being a spoiled brat.
I've seen a few things similar to these feelings in descriptions of INFJs, but I just want to know first hand.

:m032:


I experience all of the above. :)
I am a big planner. I always find myself saying this phrase "yeah, it's fine just give me proper notice." :)