Has anyone ever thought that perhaps that the "rareness" we imply in our type is just us people all flocking onto a crazy, made up idea that we are somehow special people? It's just hard to understand sometimes because couldn't our weirdness/uniqueness/abilites simply be just plain ordinariness, or no ability at all? I honestly find it hard to connect with so many people on deep levels and people are constantly doing things I never in my mind would even think of doing (murdering, stealing, doing meth, cheating on others with no remorse, terribly manipulating people, etc... keep in mind that you can do these things accidentally while having good intentions. acts come from both good and bad intentions) and I get this feeling to not trust a lot of people, that I just should't be friends with them. Then I see these people where I just feel safe around them, that I just know they'll be good for me in the long run, and eventually they are. They help me become who I am. But then I see people befriending all these terrible people that just end up really hurting them in the end, and I think, that does't really happen to me? But on the other note, I feel I am SO much more gentle than most people. I can't stand hurting others' feelings, physically hurting others, manipulate people into doing the things I want them to do (even though I know I could, and have on my bad days), and other things. I have remorse for even the smallest bad things I do. I can remember slighting a friend years ago and remember her being mad at me, and me feeling so disappointed in myself. But at the same time, I doubt myself all the time on whether I am interpreting these signs correctly. I can easily look at a different situation with strangers and tell you what's happening, but if the situation involves me, I haven't a clue. So when I am constantly thinking about myself and what all these people around me mean, I feel so freaking selfish. Like is it normal to think about these people and me in these situations over and over again? Who knows. Then after that, I just bring into question the whole INFJ personality type. Like where the fuck am I getting all this knowledge from? I don't try that hard at all. I read something once, I usually get the general idea and can build from it. I went to high school, got high distinction, and I am in college now with a 3.75 or so. I do drugs all the time (weed everyday, molly sometimes, and I've done everything you can name besides heroin and meth). I study, do all my homework. Hard to explain. I should probably stop this high questioning now before I become even crazier sounding.... but I want opinions on what you think about this.
Is the INFJ really real?
- Thread starter phaedra
- Start date
Not sure where you want to go with this, but I'm thinking of Occam's razor - whereas the simplest answer is usually the correct one. You say you have a harder time assessing your own situations. I think that's the case for most people.
I think self awareness can be something to strive for, but don't beat yourself up about it. Though that is probably easier said than done.
I think self awareness can be something to strive for, but don't beat yourself up about it. Though that is probably easier said than done.
Leedle leedle leedle. Someone knows their stuff.
I feel like you are going round and round in circles, op. My advice to you is to Stop. Come to a decision already. You are pretty spot on though. Hit the question straight in the face.
Probably got the implied answer, but even still.
I feel like you are going round and round in circles, op. My advice to you is to Stop. Come to a decision already. You are pretty spot on though. Hit the question straight in the face.
Probably got the implied answer, but even still.
I don't think it's normal to think about people and situations over and over again, and deeply contemplating their motivations, no. As an INFJ, it's almost all I ever do. I do indeed think that INFJ is a very rare type.
In other news............Don't do drugs!
In other news............Don't do drugs!
I think the problem here is that people use typology the same way that people use standardized tests. It’s not black or white. Look at each function as you might look at a four axis graph with there being different points that you can fall on the graph. Even though in general there are 16 types, (4 quadrants: Ni, Ne, Si, Se, etc..) in reality there is almost an infinite number of combinations because of it falling on a spectrum. It’s not like if you test as introverted that makes you the same as every introvert.
So I guess you could take this as every single person is their own unique and rare wonderful type. If you want to be over sentimental about it but the sentiment does have some truth when you think about it.
When you look at this way, the rarity of the INFJ or INTJ in the western world can probably be easily explained and it doesn’t make the types special necessarily. It just makes the combination of those functions unlikely due to either environment, social constructs or the general human disposition or any other reasons. Humans by nature are social creatures and so types that are at in some part at odds with that are always going to be rarer.
So I guess you could take this as every single person is their own unique and rare wonderful type. If you want to be over sentimental about it but the sentiment does have some truth when you think about it.
When you look at this way, the rarity of the INFJ or INTJ in the western world can probably be easily explained and it doesn’t make the types special necessarily. It just makes the combination of those functions unlikely due to either environment, social constructs or the general human disposition or any other reasons. Humans by nature are social creatures and so types that are at in some part at odds with that are always going to be rarer.
i agree that the "rareness" parts of our brains was probably what drove us to mbti quizzes and the quest to find our "types" if you will. i also think that a lot of people are mis-typed or typed one way and then "decides" that they're a different type because it's more rare. i've seen and known a lot of people who at one point or another thought that they were infj's only to later find out that they were other types. i don't agree with your underlying message of us not being special though - we're all special, regardless of our types, shapes or figures.
on an unrelated note, if you still have a say in the matter, please stop doing drugs. find a qualified therapist to find out why you're seeking refuge from yourself and your own emotions. all the best.
so much this. I think it's an ego trip. So-called INFJs are no different than other people, nor are they some kind of exception to the rules. That whole phrasing/idea on profiles is a load of crap.
I can say this, I do not exist as an infj.
Beyond that Jung was brilliant. That anyone could use a process and make a description from it that I feel fits me so well is pretty scary. Imagine a video game like grand theft auto where not only are people shuffled around by their looks but their personalitys as well to make the world seem more real. When you think of it, that there would only be 16 personalities for 6 billion people is pretty insane. Just saying.
Beyond that Jung was brilliant. That anyone could use a process and make a description from it that I feel fits me so well is pretty scary. Imagine a video game like grand theft auto where not only are people shuffled around by their looks but their personalitys as well to make the world seem more real. When you think of it, that there would only be 16 personalities for 6 billion people is pretty insane. Just saying.
I think a better word to describe a rare personality type such as INFJ would be 'unusual' instead of 'special'. "Special" implies that something is better, but something being rare doesn't mean that it is better. Think about rare genetic disorders, they are not a good thing to have, but the symptoms or characteristics of the disorder are likely unusual or uncommon. The particular combination of characteristics of an INFJ are uncommon, whether you think that is a good or a bad thing, or whether INFJ characteristics are good or bad would be just a subjective opinion on the matter.
I've never called myself "special" because I'm an INFJ. I didn't even want to be an INFJ, and fought it every step of the way when I was first attempting to type myself, despite all evidence that I am one. I actually resent it when I see people saying that INFJ's think they're so great and special because it's a rare type. For me, being an INFJ totally sucks. I'm happy for my kids that they are not INFJ's. I'm not surprised it's such a rare type, as I feel like all I am on this planet for is to be a human garbage can.
Tin Man
"a respectable amount of screaming"
It's for reals you guys. For realsy reals.
That's my automatic response when anyone asks if somethings is real.
That's my automatic response when anyone asks if somethings is real.
Here is the Truth whether you like it or not.
You are not special. You are not unique. You do not have amazing abilities and you do not have anything that someone else doesn't. Being an INFJ means fuck all when it really gets down to it. The problem with typology and with assigning ourselves some special and wonderful character traits is that it's just so wrong. You are a very tiny fraction of an aspect of the Universe. That's it. That's all. There is absolutely, 100% nothing more to it except we tiny little human beings have just enough self awareness that we assign value to specific traits, particularly our own traits. We have this crazy ability to look at ourselves and assume that we are separate from others. We compare and contrast our inner world and behaviours to the outward behaviours of other people. The fact is you don't know their inner world or their history. You can only see the expression of some parts of that on the surface of their being. It's like studying the weather and assuming you know what's going on under the Earth's crust, in the depths of the oceans, under the leaves of the trees, etc, just because there is a cumulonimbus cloud in the sky and the occasional tornado.
Tell your brain to shut the fuck up just for a second so that you can just BE which, in turn, lets other people BE. This has nothing to do with being an INFJ, but has to do with reducing your perceived sense of self-importance and separateness that simply does not exist at all except in your mind and maybe in the minds of some others (probably not). But a lot of your thoughts are just thoughts and not realities.
You are not a special contradition because you brag about doing all kinds of drugs and somehow manage to score well in school, nor are you special because you select better relationships in your life than other people do. Congratulations on not being the first or the last person to be able to do any of these things.
So please, get your brain to shut up and give yourself a chance to exist outside of the label that you have not only assigned to yourself, but that you THINK other people are assigning to you and that you THINK somehow creates a separation between yourself and other people.
This isn't really directed specifically at you OP, but it is specific to anyone who tries to separate themselves from other people through their own self identification which inevitably leads to their own isolation.
If you are so god damn fucking self aware and evolved then you CAN connect with other people on a deeper level. If you can see where they are and how they are living and you CHOOSE NOT TO try to connect with them based on your respective assigned labels (as given by you) then it's you who has the depth problem, not the other people.
Being deep all the time just makes you a bottom feeder of the ocean and doesn't allow you to come up for air and see the sun. Give people a chance to show you how amazing they can be. Everyone else is a specific aspect of this Universe too and if you would tone down how you see yourself for just one fucking second in your life then your world could change because you could see it for how it is and not for how you think it fits your special INFJ personality type.
FUCK.
You are not special. You are not unique. You do not have amazing abilities and you do not have anything that someone else doesn't. Being an INFJ means fuck all when it really gets down to it. The problem with typology and with assigning ourselves some special and wonderful character traits is that it's just so wrong. You are a very tiny fraction of an aspect of the Universe. That's it. That's all. There is absolutely, 100% nothing more to it except we tiny little human beings have just enough self awareness that we assign value to specific traits, particularly our own traits. We have this crazy ability to look at ourselves and assume that we are separate from others. We compare and contrast our inner world and behaviours to the outward behaviours of other people. The fact is you don't know their inner world or their history. You can only see the expression of some parts of that on the surface of their being. It's like studying the weather and assuming you know what's going on under the Earth's crust, in the depths of the oceans, under the leaves of the trees, etc, just because there is a cumulonimbus cloud in the sky and the occasional tornado.
Tell your brain to shut the fuck up just for a second so that you can just BE which, in turn, lets other people BE. This has nothing to do with being an INFJ, but has to do with reducing your perceived sense of self-importance and separateness that simply does not exist at all except in your mind and maybe in the minds of some others (probably not). But a lot of your thoughts are just thoughts and not realities.
You are not a special contradition because you brag about doing all kinds of drugs and somehow manage to score well in school, nor are you special because you select better relationships in your life than other people do. Congratulations on not being the first or the last person to be able to do any of these things.
So please, get your brain to shut up and give yourself a chance to exist outside of the label that you have not only assigned to yourself, but that you THINK other people are assigning to you and that you THINK somehow creates a separation between yourself and other people.
This isn't really directed specifically at you OP, but it is specific to anyone who tries to separate themselves from other people through their own self identification which inevitably leads to their own isolation.
If you are so god damn fucking self aware and evolved then you CAN connect with other people on a deeper level. If you can see where they are and how they are living and you CHOOSE NOT TO try to connect with them based on your respective assigned labels (as given by you) then it's you who has the depth problem, not the other people.
Being deep all the time just makes you a bottom feeder of the ocean and doesn't allow you to come up for air and see the sun. Give people a chance to show you how amazing they can be. Everyone else is a specific aspect of this Universe too and if you would tone down how you see yourself for just one fucking second in your life then your world could change because you could see it for how it is and not for how you think it fits your special INFJ personality type.
FUCK.
I disagree with this. Every single person on this earth is unique. The problem is not when people think of themselves as unique but when they don't take into account that every other person is also unique. It's not like I'm the only unique person, or a certain number of people are unique and everybody else are all the same, no, everybody is unique, and one of a kind. We all have more in common than we have differences, but our differences are still what make us who we are as individuals.
I mean a self assigned definition of unique in the sense that there is some separate nature that one possesses that makes them special in some way. Often "special" and "unique" are terms people like to use when they feel superior. Obviously we all have our own gene expressions, upbringings and conditioning and our perspective on the world is limited to what we can see and feel through our own body, but it's not special or better than anyone else.
I feel....no let me change that, I see (because I'm on the computer) some tension on this thread. Why are people worked up over this? This women is humbling herself by asking if what she thinks is normal. I don't think it was anything personal!