Is she an INFP or an INFJ? And what should I do? | INFJ Forum

Is she an INFP or an INFJ? And what should I do?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by technics, Dec 25, 2011.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 2 users.
More threads by technics
  1. technics

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    May 13, 2011
    Threads:
    96
    Messages:
    999
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    172
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Yes
    A few days ago I met someone when I joined one of my cliques. She was standing there, very silent and introvert. I made my rounds saying Hi to everybody and when I introduced myself to her, she had this look of amazement in her eyes while she was looking at me. It was as if she was thinking "Who is this guy? I haven't met anyone with this kind of aura yet". I immediately knew she was interested.

    I also thought she was very pretty. But what's even better is that there was chemistry between us right from the start. We had absolutely no problem having a conversation, although she really seems to be an extreme introvert. The words just flowed between us. And it turns out she also graduated in the arts and the sciences (different subfields). When she told me that I thought this is just too good to be true: mutual attraction, same interests, similar academic paths, super chemistry.

    Now oddly, I've been trying to type her. I don't do it out of a scheming motivation, but rather because I don't want this to fail and so I'd like to get every help there is. I know one shouldn't be too careful or too "thinking" in these matters, but I think that's a balance I can keep. So do you think she's an INFP or an INFJ? Which brings us to the old question of the differences between INFP and INFJ.

    My first impressions of her: Very reserved, with a shyness which is not a weakness. She lacks the goofiness I see among other INFPs I know. Though on Facebook a lot of her photos show that playfulness. She definitely does not look hard on the outside, but rather fragile. She also couldn't resist glancing at me now and then. I, of course, sustained each of those eye contacts and faded out smoothly.

    And what should I do? Should I be careful in my approach, patient and slow, or faster? Actually I think my first move (asking her for her Facebook contact) was already too fast. But the risk of losing contact with her was just too high.
     
  2. MissionHouse

    MissionHouse Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2011
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    728
    Likes Received:
    87
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    I need more information about her if I'm going to attempt to type her.

    If you're interested in her, you should just ask her out.
     
  3. Sensiko

    Sensiko Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    1,388
    Likes Received:
    691
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4
    What if she's both at times? For heaven's sake don't put her on a pedestal! Go for it, don't over-think it and have fun :whoo:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. OP
    technics

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    May 13, 2011
    Threads:
    96
    Messages:
    999
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    172
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Yes
    Did it really sound like that? I'm not putting her on a pedestal, though. Also where I live, we don't ask people out directly. It always has the undertone of "getting serious" and "being too interested". It's more of riding the wave and asking at the appropriate time and place.
     
  5. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,373
    Messages:
    27,949
    Featured Threads:
    91
    Likes Received:
    19,860
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    .
    She could be an INTP.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Sensiko

    Sensiko Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    1,388
    Likes Received:
    691
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4
    Kinda, yeah. You know how we get... Where you live totally interests me.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. OP
    technics

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    May 13, 2011
    Threads:
    96
    Messages:
    999
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    172
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Yes
    That's true, she really could be an INTP. But what makes you think she's definitely a P? You really sounded confident in that one.

    "how we get"? What do you mean? I really don't understand that, let alone what you are referring to.

    [MENTION=4624]MissionHouse[/MENTION] As I said in my previous post, it's not appropriate to ask someone out where I live. But to describe her in more detail: She's definitely an INFx. [MENTION=1669]Carrie[/MENTION] suggested INTP, but she studied arts, so whether she's T or F, she definitely has a developed Feeling side. In terms of function I'd say Fi was noticeable. And Ni. She wasn't shooting in all directions, so I can rule out the Ne. She studied science, so I assume developed Ti. Almost no Te, I felt that.
     
  8. Kmal

    Kmal Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Threads:
    38
    Messages:
    1,582
    Likes Received:
    217
    Trophy Points:
    210
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sx/sp
    dont ask her to be your girlfriend, just get her to go to out to eat with you, or do something fun together. thats not too serious. i have faith you can do that smoothly and not being misinterpreted.
    her type could be anything. isfp is what i got after reading this whole thread. putting too much thought into it could be detrimental.
     
  9. niffer

    niffer Well-known member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2011
    Threads:
    177
    Messages:
    8,031
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    3,240
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ESTP
    why does it matter what her mbti is? just try to talk to her and get to know her more. show her some more of your world and transition into hanging out with her more, then eventually tell her how you feel about her if you still feel the same way. above all, just stay open to who she is. take in all cues and work with what she gives you. i would refrain from plunging her into a box.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    acd likes this.
  10. Sensiko

    Sensiko Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    1,388
    Likes Received:
    691
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4
    INFJs tend to fall in love with the fantasy of the person they've created in their mind.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,373
    Messages:
    27,949
    Featured Threads:
    91
    Likes Received:
    19,860
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    .
    Actually, I don't think she's a T or a Te-user now that I thought about it. But I do get a P vibe. She seems uncertain, unsure, but interested. She allowed herself to subtly enjoy the moment between you without turning you down immediately. She may not be that much of an introvert, she's probably just cautious. And I think her seeming reserve or may just be her thinking and analysing the situation, trying to get a sense of who you are and how she should respond. Typing someone based on a first impression is a tricky because the self you see is just one aspect. Their complete personality may not be evidence or obvious until you get to know them. And maybe that sense of fragility is just a reflection of her willingness to be emotionally honest which is typical of INFPs.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. OP
    technics

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    May 13, 2011
    Threads:
    96
    Messages:
    999
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    172
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Yes
    Oh trust me! Where I live you really don't ask people out. You just don't. If I do that she will raise her walls and be suspicious of me (as everybody would do here). In my culture there's hardly such a thing as formal dating. At least in the beginning. Here formal dating is at the end of getting to know each other and it almost means you both are a couple. And she's also definitely not an ISFP. She studied the most hardcore of the sciences and doing her PhD in that field. She's definitely INF or INT.

    In the strict sense it really doesn't matter what her MBTI is. But it's an angle, so why waste an angle that is available?
     
  13. MissionHouse

    MissionHouse Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2011
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    728
    Likes Received:
    87
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1

    I'm an INFJ who uses plenty of Ne and Fi. I think it's because I absorb the personalities of the people I'm around, or change my personality to suit them. My kids are INTP and ENTP. Just throwing that out there. Really, to know someone's type (usually) I have to spend some time observing them. Try to think of how she is when under pressure, if you've seen her that way (which you probably haven't!)
     
  14. acd

    acd Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Threads:
    136
    Messages:
    12,833
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    16,904
    Trophy Points:
    1,227
    Location:
    Big sky
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sp/sx
    Offer her father your fattest lamb in exchange for her hand. If you discover she is isfp after all, you can always reneg on the deal and just say she was wanton. Or just get to know her by being her friend.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
Loading...

Share This Page