Is it strange that I’m offended when those close to me don’t care to try and understand me? | INFJ Forum

Is it strange that I’m offended when those close to me don’t care to try and understand me?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Hotaru, Feb 25, 2018.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 3 users.
More threads by Hotaru
  1. Hotaru

    Hotaru Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2018
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    16
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    46
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    America
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I’m going through a stressful time which has caused me to pretty much cut off all of my friends, and the only people I’ve been communicating with outside of work is my ENFP mother and my ENTP boyfriend of 2 years.
    Me and my mom usually get along, but it’s not unusual for me and my boyfriend to get in arguements, so I originally started researching the MBTI in a desperate attempt to save our relationship. I used to get really upset because I didn’t understand why he would act the way he does sometimes, and it was actually really enlightening for me to realize, our brains don’t work the same way, and it helped me to be a little more understanding when he doesn’t seem as emotional or when he says something a brutally honest.
    He sometimes says things like “you’re way too emotional.” Or “you think too much” or “why don’t you get more friends?”, so I was trying to tell him about the MBTI and he started cutting me off saying “this looks like the math that I hated in school! Noooo. You should just give up on that. Nooo no no”. I finally just sent a few of the INFJ traits to him and said “doesn’t this sound like me?” And when he said “yeah, it does”, I was finally able to explain it a bit. I don’t know if it will really help our relationship at all though.
    I also told my mom about the MBTI and she seemed interested and we had some really good conversations about it, but then she still doesn’t seem to care to try not to stress me out when I try to tell her that what she’s doing is stressful for me. We’re in a situation where we need to move ASAP, and I’m constantly trying to figure out what I can do to earn more money and find a cheap place for us to move, but one morning when I got up for work, she starts going on and on about why we better hurry up and move or we’re going to be homeless again, and I had a meltdown because I’m already stressing about it and it just makes me stress even more because I can’t do anything more than what I’m already doing, but she acts like she doesn’t understand why I reacted like that when she was “just saying” . It happens a lot where she ends up stressing about things and talking about them constantly and then when I have a panic attack she thinks I’m crazy. Even after explaining to her, I don’t get why she doesn’t understand.


     
    James likes this.
  2. James

    James Infamy, infamy.. they've all got it infamy
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    121
    Messages:
    5,560
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    21,594
    Trophy Points:
    3,498
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I'm sorry this is happening, no wonder you feel stressed. I think if you can calmly go through all your options that might be best.

    Firstly, do you definitely have to move? If it's rent arrears or similar is there anyway to make an installment offer instead?

    Mobilise all the support you can, family and friends. Are there any voluntary organisations who can advise and support you?

    If you really have no choice but to move, I think you'd need to plan the cheapest way to do so, and only pay the most important bills. Everything else can wait.

    Take care of yourself and best wishes.
     
    Wyote likes this.
  3. OP
    Hotaru

    Hotaru Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2018
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    16
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    46
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    America
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Thank you so much.
    It’s basically my own fault we have to move, because of some 2 week old kittens we found/raised that our landlord won’t allow us to keep and doesn’t know we have them, but we’re scared to trust anyone else with them. We entrusted their sister to a vet and they killed her. So I just have to build my credit and we’re saving up and hoping the landlord doesn’t find out before we can get a place...
     
    James likes this.
  4. ForestPath

    ForestPath Newbie

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2018
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    41
    Trophy Points:
    478
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    That’s very sweet you were protecting kittens! Hope things worked out for you.
     
    Wyote likes this.
Loading...

Share This Page