Is it selfish? | INFJ Forum

Is it selfish?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by soulseeker, Jan 15, 2010.

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  1. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    hello :)

    recently, I have been feeling happy.. and sad.. I would be happy for days then I'd be super depressed the next day

    I know it's normal to be sad and to feel down

    but...

    I know i'm sad and depressed and there is a reason for that.. but if i weigh the positive things I have and the negative things I feel, I know there are a lot of reasons to be happy but I don't know why I still feel sad.

    I feel so ungrateful for what I have.. I know i have a lot of blessings from God (people and material things) and I know that I want to be happy but because of just one thing that makes me sad, it ruins my day.

    I don't seem to find a reason to feel sad because I know I have a lot of things to be thankful for, I feel beautiful feelings that some don't, I understand what some don't, i've felt a spiritual connection with God and there are a lot of beautiful reasons why I should be happy even if those are just little things.. I should appreciate them but I still feel sad..i can't find a valid reason for me to be super sad because of just one small thing which I think affects my life and if I compare it to the reasons why I should happy... I know i should be happy... I STILL FEEL SAD........

    i feel sad... i don't want a lot of material things or anything... i JUST FEEL like there's something missing..



    can this be called selfish?... although I don't want to be selfish but I don't know why sadness dominates happiness when there are more reasons to be happy than to be sad
     
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    #1 soulseeker, Jan 15, 2010
  2. Roger

    Roger ...

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    This is great feeling indeed. I think, you are worrying about one thing, one day you have to leave this all thing, you can't have those material things every time. See, soulseeker i think your sadness is trying to say something to you. I think, you should detach yourself completely from material things which makes you feel sadness.

    :hug: and remember try to balance yourself in this happiness and sadness. This is your true measurement of how much strong you are! Try and try hard, you will find your balance and rhythm in your life. You have to remain happy in sad moments, too. May be this is your life lesson. :)
     
    #2 Roger, Jan 15, 2010
  3. OP
    soulseeker

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    hi friend :) :)

    I find this happiness when I can relate to people.. when I share and give love... when I not only make them smile but make them happy... when I get to show how much I care for others..

    and I have recently just found a deep connection with Jesus and I think from that day on... I was enlightened to give love and care selflessly...

    I have this fulfilling feeling everytime I feel like i've given everything to make the people around me happy and loved and cared for

    but I can't do this all by myself.. I can't help and love everybody around me...I can but I wont' be able to do these things all on my own..

    anyways... given that kind of happiness...when I don't get to make people feel loved and cared... I get soo drained...

    i have nothing left of me... I have been living a life dependent on other people's happiness... which gives me happiness in return..but it's not rooted from my own happiness

    I don't want to be selfish and i don't want to stop doing things to make people feel these

    I don't mind losing things that i have for other people but I still don't know why I feel sad because of one small thing
     
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    #3 soulseeker, Jan 15, 2010
  4. Roger

    Roger ...

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    You are right, you can't have everybody around yourself. Limit! It is okay if you can't tell about that small thing...

    can understand confusion and feeling :hug:
     
    #4 Roger, Jan 15, 2010
  5. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    I think I can relate. Feeling like the only way you can live your life in a good way is unsustainable, like you simply can't keep up the selflessness that you feel you need to share with everyone, but it breaks your heart every time you hurt someone by trying to recharge or do what you need to do.

    It isn't selfless to take care of yourself. You need to do what is best for YOU, and in turn you will be able to better care for others.
     
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    #5 NeverAmI, Jan 15, 2010
  6. INFJesus

    INFJesus
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    Sounds like good old fashioned loneliness to me.
     
    #6 INFJesus, Jan 15, 2010
  7. OP
    soulseeker

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    :m105: thank you :)

    yeah I think I'm 1/4 dead inside :)
     
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    #7 soulseeker, Jan 15, 2010
  8. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    Hey you!

    I know what you mean, I have felt this my entire life. But now I have periods of time where I feel really happy and loving without the sadness coming through and I think I know what made it change. It is because I left my parents. They made me feel (undeliberatly) that I was not good enough. That my opinion, and descisions where not good enough and I had to listen to there advices. Since I moved out I'm starting to change. I'm not that scared anymore, I know myself, I'm more in touch with myself and with that comes a feeling of peace and happynes inside

    I think it is the same with you. You do miss something. I think it is important to find out what it is you want, what is your wisdom, what is your opinion, what do you want in your life, where do you want to go. And go that path, step by step. By doing this you will grow inside, become stronger, more in touch with yourself, more certain about what you want. In my opinion it is the inner strength that makes you feel peaceful, loving and happy. this kind of happyness is the only one that lasts and that replaces the sadness rather than overlapping it for a short period of time.

    And it is only when you find this inner strength that you are able to love and care for other people without distroying or exhausting yourself!!

    You'll get there, I know you will! :hug:
     
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    #8 Morgain, Jan 15, 2010
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