Is courting a lost art? | INFJ Forum

Is courting a lost art?

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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Is courting a lost art? Should we still "date"/court someone even if it's casual? Or if both parties know what they want, should they simply skip the formalities? Do you think relationships lose out when people don't take the time to court or date? (Define courting however you choose)
 
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What are we classifying as courting?
 
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What are we classifying as courting?

I was wondering the same thing.

Are we talking about dinner, dates? Or something more spectacular?

Probably dinner dates or just doing things typical for people to get to know each other, and doing things for the person, or spending time with them engaging in non-intimate activities before diving right into intimacy. That's the way I'm thinking of it, but others may define it differently. Not everyone has the same definition of courting. So, define courting in a way that connects with you.
 
Probably dinner dates or just doing things typical for people to get to know each other, and doing things for the person, or spending time with them engaging in non-intimate activities before diving right into intimacy. That's the way I'm thinking of it, but others may define it differently. Not everyone has the same definition of courting. So, define courting in a way that connects with you.

After awhile dinner dates/drinks can become rather mundane- although always nice. I typically like exploring new things and activities and areas. There was a guy I'd met a University I remember who really blew me away in terms of courting. He just knew exactly what I liked- I would mention a book to him, and the next day he had read it and would want to take me to a book reading with that author. Another time, I mentioned I liked jazz music, and he would surprise me with tickets to a jazz show. He was always anticipating what I was thinking and suggest all these activities that took me out of my comfort zone- once we went on a day trip to look check out some flower gardens. We stopped by the beach and he took off all his clothes to go swimming in the ocean- this was in winter. He was always doing little things to surprise me. I'm not sure that counts as courting though, probably more of a thoughtful individual.
 
As individuals, our worlds are larger, and we are more interconnected (by number) today than when courting was a thing. When we are presented with more choice, dedicating to a choice is wasted energy.
Our quantity of interconnection has weakened the quality of our interconnection.
 
As individuals, our worlds are larger, and we are more interconnected (by number) today than when courting was a thing. When we are presented with more choice, dedicating to a choice is wasted energy.
Our quantity of interconnection has weakened the quality of our interconnection.

I agree with this. I also think infj personalities are not as well suited to this since quality is more important than quantity to most infjs.
 
It's half the fun, but I wasn't ever really that good at it, except in an exceptionally dorky maybe funny/sad way. Bless the women who ever liked me.

More directly to the question, it is and it will never be.
 
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Courting is part of romance. If both parties don't care for it; then just skip it. Courting nowadays is crap anyways. Just send a smiley text and you started "courting"! The standards are so low when it comes to courting and chivalry that most won't even know they are being courted even if you try.