Hey there!
First time posting here, actually I've never been on this forum before, but I'm just going crazy because of this INFJ girl and I really have no idea whether I should just let her go or keep fighting for her.
Well, here we go! Wall of txt inc.
Let me just explain how it all started.
We live in a small town and when it comes to entertainment there aren't many good choices, so we spend our free time at the same places.
Half a year ago we didn't know each other and I've noticed she's been checking me out, but every time I would just shrug it off, since I'm used to it because of my good looks (others told me), I'm also really outgoing and socially adept INTP.
Back then I've been telling myself she was just another boring girl interested in my looks and nothing else.
Then one day I've overheard two of my friends talking about her and heard something along the lines of "she's just wants someone to care and love her" and that sparked my interest and I've gave it a shot.
To make a long story short, we hit it off, she had something that I just cannot explain, told myself "Wow, this girl is something special!" and she was and we kissed at that first date.
We went out together, had those long conversations, every now and then I would make something creative for her, like a puzzle or something and there would always be a prize at the end, there was a poem in one that made her cry with a smile on her face.
She told me she couldn't believe I could be interested in her and that she was just below my league, I would just laugh and tell her that she's stunning, beautiful, gorgeous inside and out, but I kind of knew she believed what she was saying, because of the jerks she dated before.
Two months in, she went cold, asked her what's wrong, she said that we needed to talk. She said that because of her last relationship (in which her ex cheated on her) she just can't love right now and that it's for the best if we would just stay friends.
I felt devastated, used and confused, blamed myself. Being friends failed for me, so I've decided to break all the contact, but told her that I'm not trying to play games and explained why I was doing it.
Days of alcohol abuse started, which actually helped, I've even met her cheating ex, had a civilized talk with him and slowly I've managed to heal.
Month passed and I was getting ready for a surgery, she contacted me and wished me luck, I've said thanks and told her that everything will be alright. Surgery went well, got home and she contacted me again and said that she couldn't wait for me to get back on my feet and we started talking again.
Finally I was ready to go out again, she went cold again. Got a bit confused and angry because I still love her.
Another awkward month passed, had almost no contact with her and I've decided to tell her that I don't blame her and that even tho' I miss her I just want her to be happy and live her life.
She told me that she's been talking to her ex and said she knew I was talking to him and asked me to tell her what he told me about her and I've told her the truth, which wasn't pretty.
Basically what happened next is that she opened up, told me everything about her previous relationship and even shown me the message where she told her ex goodbye forever.
Told her that I still care for her, she said that she is just not ready, but wants to hang out and get to know me better.
So INFJs, what's your view on this?
Is there hope for us now or am I just gong to end up hurting myself again?
And yes I love this woman or as we INTPs would say, my serotonin and oxytocin levels are off the charts when I think about or am near her, and would give up anything to have her back.
First time posting here, actually I've never been on this forum before, but I'm just going crazy because of this INFJ girl and I really have no idea whether I should just let her go or keep fighting for her.
Well, here we go! Wall of txt inc.
Let me just explain how it all started.
We live in a small town and when it comes to entertainment there aren't many good choices, so we spend our free time at the same places.
Half a year ago we didn't know each other and I've noticed she's been checking me out, but every time I would just shrug it off, since I'm used to it because of my good looks (others told me), I'm also really outgoing and socially adept INTP.
Back then I've been telling myself she was just another boring girl interested in my looks and nothing else.
Then one day I've overheard two of my friends talking about her and heard something along the lines of "she's just wants someone to care and love her" and that sparked my interest and I've gave it a shot.
To make a long story short, we hit it off, she had something that I just cannot explain, told myself "Wow, this girl is something special!" and she was and we kissed at that first date.
We went out together, had those long conversations, every now and then I would make something creative for her, like a puzzle or something and there would always be a prize at the end, there was a poem in one that made her cry with a smile on her face.
She told me she couldn't believe I could be interested in her and that she was just below my league, I would just laugh and tell her that she's stunning, beautiful, gorgeous inside and out, but I kind of knew she believed what she was saying, because of the jerks she dated before.
Two months in, she went cold, asked her what's wrong, she said that we needed to talk. She said that because of her last relationship (in which her ex cheated on her) she just can't love right now and that it's for the best if we would just stay friends.
I felt devastated, used and confused, blamed myself. Being friends failed for me, so I've decided to break all the contact, but told her that I'm not trying to play games and explained why I was doing it.
Days of alcohol abuse started, which actually helped, I've even met her cheating ex, had a civilized talk with him and slowly I've managed to heal.
Month passed and I was getting ready for a surgery, she contacted me and wished me luck, I've said thanks and told her that everything will be alright. Surgery went well, got home and she contacted me again and said that she couldn't wait for me to get back on my feet and we started talking again.
Finally I was ready to go out again, she went cold again. Got a bit confused and angry because I still love her.
Another awkward month passed, had almost no contact with her and I've decided to tell her that I don't blame her and that even tho' I miss her I just want her to be happy and live her life.
She told me that she's been talking to her ex and said she knew I was talking to him and asked me to tell her what he told me about her and I've told her the truth, which wasn't pretty.
Basically what happened next is that she opened up, told me everything about her previous relationship and even shown me the message where she told her ex goodbye forever.
Told her that I still care for her, she said that she is just not ready, but wants to hang out and get to know me better.
So INFJs, what's your view on this?
Is there hope for us now or am I just gong to end up hurting myself again?
And yes I love this woman or as we INTPs would say, my serotonin and oxytocin levels are off the charts when I think about or am near her, and would give up anything to have her back.